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Quotes: Surrounded by Idiots
Spongbob: (impersonating Squidward) Everyone is an idiot except for me!
Squidward: Well, it's true.
SpongeBob SquarePants, "I Had an Accident"

"I'm surrounded by defective circuitry..."
Dr. Ivo Robotnik, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

"Morons! I'm surrounded by morons!"
Carface, All Dogs Go to Heaven

"It's a trap! A trap, you idiots! Don't fall for it!"
David of Animorphs, addressing his two henchmen (they fall for it)

"Why must I constantly be surrounded by frickin' idiots?"
Doctor Evil, Austin Powers

Sador: What's WRONG is that I have an army full of GENETIC MISTAKES! Why can't my minions be sophisticated or intelligent, like... well, like ME?
Yago: You can't expect all of us to measure up to you, Sir.
Sador: Oh, don't flatter me!

"Note to self: need to hire more henchmen. Good ones this time!"

Hedley: Now Repeat After Me: "I..."
Thugs: I...
Hedley: ...your name...
Thugs: Your name...
Hedley: (under his breath) Schmucks...

Glory: I need a brain to eat.
Minion: Oh, take mine, oh groove-tastic one!
Glory: I said a brain, you worthless dirt!

Anakin: So, what are you up to?
Grievous: My armpits in incompetence!

"What's the point of having minions if they don't do your work for you! I should be watching the Home Shopping Network in my underwear but NO, I have to go out and commit a murder!"

Mello (after his minions have kidnapped an old grey-haired guy): I asked you to bring me Sayu Yagami. A 17 year old girl. Does this look like a 17 year old girl to you?
Minion 1: No...
Minion 2: Yes.

"Like I said, I'll be famous one day, but for now, I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons."
Greg Heffley, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

"Why are evil geniuses always surrounded by fools?"
Digimon Emperor, Digimon Adventure 02

*Vegeta having a nose bleed*
Nappa: You ok, Vegeta?
Vegeta: Yes, just... just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity.
Nappa: Wow. I didn't think you were that stupid, Vegeta.
Goku: Are you okay in there?
Vegeta: Yeah, I'm fan-f***ing-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.
Goku: Oh, really? Can I come in too?
Goku: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!
— Also from Dragon Ball Z Abridged

"You are all INCOMPETENTS!"

Edd: ...I'm surrounded by idiots.
Eddy: Who's complainin'?

"If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again."

"I know it's obvious I'm a genius, but is everyone else this stupid?"

"MORONS! I have MORONS on my payroll!"
Cobra Commander, G.I. Joe

Zeetha: She sounds like an idiot.
Gil: Well, yes, but never a malicious one.
Zeetha: Is that important?
Gil: Heavens, yes! If I let everyone I thought was an idiot die, there wouldn't be many people left.

"YOU'RE A STUPID INCOMPETENT! I WANT THAT DOCTOR!"
Tobias Vaughn, The Invasion

"Henchmen. Evil, obedient, bright — pick any two."

"You four take care of the Avatar. Do not underestimate her."
(one escape sequence later)
"I thought I told you not to underestimate her?"

"I'm surrounded by idiots."
Scar, The Lion King

"Must I be the meat in an imbecile sandwich?"
Bud Bundy, Married... with Children note 

"I'm up to my tits in morons."
Cpt. Morgan, None Piece

"FOOLS! I'm surrounded by FOOLS!"
Badrang from the third season of the animated series of Redwall

"Why don't I get any competent henchmen? I offer excellent health benefits, educational opportunities, even a direct share in the enterprise. I even have a catchphrase! How does he manage it with just inspirational speeches? Emotional logic is barely any logic at all..."

"Bah! How did Robotnik rule Mobius with you idiots working for him?"
Commander Brutus to his incompetent team of Troopers in Sonic the Comic

Dark Helmet: How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?
(The entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand.)
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes. (Closes helmet) Keep firing, assholes!

"He's as dumb as a bag of hammers, but he works cheap."
Dr. Insano about his new evil minion, Chester A. Bum.

"I'm surrounded by morons!
Moe Howard of The Three Stooges in many, many shorts.

"I am surrounded by traitors, and FOOLS!!"
Zoran Lazarevic, Uncharted 2

"How many times do I have to tell those idiots? If you're the last one in, LOCK THE GATE!"
Bowser, Super Paper Mario

''"Now I know why Moe's always mad."
Christopher Titus, Titus

Moblin: I'm sorry, Lord Ganon.
Ganon: (sarcastically) You're sorry... YOU'RE SORRY! Blast these incompetent servants!
(Teleports in front of Evil Jar)
Ganon: YOU'RE ALL IDIOTS!

"You continue to use officers of proven stupidity in order to boost your already inflated ego."
Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space

"I am surrounded by cow turds!"

"All I have now is dickheads! Dickheads everywhere, yo!"
Ricardo Diaz, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

"You're part of a league of morons. You're one of the morons I have been fighting my whole life. My whole. Fucking. Life."
Osbourne Cox, Burn After Reading

Why am I always in such a bad goddamn mood? Um... maybe because everyone is such a pain in the fucking ass all the time, did you ever think about that? I'm the boss of all these fucking assholes, and look what I work with! I work with a fucking redneck who runs around with half a hard on all the time, telling women he's got a Swiss Army dick and wants to fuck them in the back of his raised Corolla! Then there's the black snow patrol guy, who somehow manages to be more racist than the white guys who give him a watermelon on skis every year for his birthday, and do Sanford and Son reenactments in the break room on Friday nights just to piss him off! He's going to stab one of these motherfuckers in the dick, and I'm not going to be able to stop him! And that's just what I deal with at work! When I go home and try to relax, my wife's bratty kids are running around screaming, then she drops the bombshell on me that she wants to have another one. I've already got three! Four fucking kids?! Now I avoid my wife's pussy like it was a bear trap! I jerk off in secret in the bathroom now more than I did when I was 16! Oh, and I have shot a man in the face with a Howitzer and killed him! This is not the life I was meant to live!

"Attention New New Yorkers: STOP ACTING SO STUPID!"
Fry, Futurama

"*Sigh*, I'm babysitting a group of children."
Jade Curtiss, Tales of the Abyss

"If you seem slow to me, Sherlock, can you imagine what real people are like? I'm living in a world of goldfish."
Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock

"Jeez, man, I'm surrounded by amateurs."
Sebastian, The Little Mermaid

"All the ponies in this town are crazy!"

"What can I say, man; good help is hard to find."
Stringer Bell, The Wire

"I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."

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