From the show itself:
Dean: House rules, Sammy—driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.
Young Dean: Call Pastor Jim.
John Winchester: Lock the doors and windows, close the shades, and most important...
Young Dean: Watch out for Sammy.
Michael: My brother's sick.
Dean: The little guy?
Michael: [nodding] Pneumonia. He's in the hospital. It's my fault.
Dean: Ah, c'mon, how?
Michael: I should've made sure the window was latched. He wouldn't have gotten pneumonia if the window was latched.
Dean: Listen to me. I can promise you that this is not your fault. Okay?
Michael: It's my job to look after him.
Michael: You said you're a big brother.
Michael: You take care of your little brother? You'd do...anything for him?
Dean: [heartfelt] Yeah, I would.
Sam: A lot of people would say the same thing about what you do.
Andy: [pause] But death visions? Dude, that sucks.
Dean: REO Speedwagon?
Jo: Damn right, REO. Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart.
Dean: [smirking] He sings it from the hair. There's a difference.
Sam: We're hunting a ghost.
Dean: A ghost, exactly. Who does that?
Dean: Us, right. And that, Sam—that is exactly why our lives suck. I mean, c'mon, we hunt monsters! What the hell? I mean, normal people, they see a monster and they run. But not us—no, no, no, we...we search out things that want to kill us! Yeah, huh? Or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people! We...are insane!
Castiel: Yes. He's not in Heaven; He has to be somewhere.
Dean: Try New Mexico, I hear He's on a tortilla.
Castiel: [deadpan, confused] No, He's not on any flatbread.
Crowley: [pointing the Colt at Dean] I, want you, to take this thing to Lucifer, and empty it into his face.
Dean: Uh-huh. Okay. And why, exactly, would you want the Devil dead?
Crowley: [putting the Colt down] It's called survival. But I forgot, you two at best are functional morons.
Dean: Yeah, you're—functioning morons...
What are you, the Hamburglar?
Gabriel: Damn right they’re flawed. But a lot of them try. To do better. To forgive. [beat] And you should see the spearmint rhino.
Dean: You're watching porn? Why?
Castiel: [still staring] It was there.
Dean: You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes, and you don't...talk about it! Just turn it off. [Castiel looks down at his body, surprised] Oh, now he's got a boner.
Samuel: This what you boys do, sit around watching pornos with angels?
Castiel: [deadpan, eyes still glued to the screen] We're not supposed to talk about it.
Castiel: What are you doing here?
Crowley: I want to help you help me help ourselves.
Castiel: Speak plain.
Crowley: I want to discuss a simple business transaction, that's all.
Castiel: You want to make a deal? With me? I'm an angel, you ass. Don't have a soul to sell.
Sam: Which time?
Sam: Depends on the day.
Describing the show:
that reality show about the two underwear-model brothers who hallucinate and shoot at ghosts
the reality show about the two brothers who drive around testing out seedy motels
the underwear-model-ghost hunters-brothers show
Misha Collins: Honestly? I'm just going to answer this quickly to get it over with, but...gay porn incest story with two brothers fucking the shit out of each other.