Quotes / Suicide as Comedy

Neil: Vyvyan. Is it actually possible to kill yourself with laxatives?
Vyvyan: I dunno, Neil. But I'm going to stay and find out.

Cable: Now here's the critical part. *blah blah blah blah*
Deadpool's Childish Voice in his head: It's so BORING...!
(Deadpool starts crying, and turns to the player)
Deadpool:(to the audience) Make it STOP! (he continues crying until the player presses a button which makes Deadpool shoot himself in the head)
Cable: Dammit, Wade!

Worsely: I saw a poster saying Suicide — ring the Samaritans. So this very pleasant young fellow came round and I told him I want to kill myself and could he help. He said in a very feeling voice he would certainly try. But does he hell. The bastard's always trying to stop me.
Owners

Finn: Thanks guys. Your blood oath is now fulfilled.
Balloons: YAY! To the Mesosphere! FINALLY, WE CAN DIE!

A depressed guy: Depression... Depression is a terrible thing. Terrible thing. I've been depressed now for 14 years. Can't shake it off. My wife says I should kill myself, but it's just a coward's way out, you know. I did try once, though. Locked myself in the garage, started the car. Bloody thing had a catalytic converter. Came out after 7 hours with a slight headache. But mustn't grumble.
A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Vox Pop segment

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/SuicideAsComedy