Quotes / Stupid Sexy Flanders

DM: This is just too weird.
Aragorn: Oh, come on. You said she was hot! "Tall, slim, and graceful, with golden hair," you said.
DM: That's the same description I gave you for Legolas.
Aragorn: Like I said: HOT!

"Don't be intimidated Squidward. Try to imagine him in his underwear. (imagines Squilliam in his underwear with a muscular body and boxers) Oh no, he's hot!"
Squidward, Spongebob Squarepants

"I think I'm developing a man-crush on Ginko."
Jason Miao, Derailed by Darry

"You know, it's not gay if you think Rudy's hot. We all think he's hot. My God, you're beautiful."
Corporal Josh Ray Person, Generation Kill

"I have something of a man crush on Ron Perlman..."
Lothar Hex, Exterminatus Now

"So, the new feature is Cat Suits. Meaning suits made to look like cats, not Luigi running around in skintight— sorry, lost my train of thought."

"Now, for those of you who don't speak "guy" fluently, "looks like gay porn" is sexually-insecure-straight-male for 'I immediately recognize that this depiction of the masculine figure is intended to be arousing, and said recognition makes me uncomfortable.'"

"I (sic) am not gay but when he smiles he makes me Comfortably Numb"
Comment on a YouTube video of David Gilmour.

Elaine: Do either one of you know that blond guy who's always on that show, the really handsome guy?
George: I, uh... I wouldn't know.
Elaine: You know, just admitting that a guy is handsome doesn't make you a homosexual.
George: It doesn't help.

Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.

"Oh my God, you could grind meat on it-BAH!!!"

"I fly to Los Angeles. I am seated across the aisle from Kurt Russell. Now, listen: I am a happily married man. But I am not embarrassed to say that Kurt Russell is an extremely handsome man. And apparently he grew his eye back since he escaped from New York."

"Ah. The return of the why-boner. With a vengeance."
Alucard, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, upon meeting the androgynous cat-boy Schrodinger.

''"I am a straight male but damn Luigi is sexy."
''"Have you ever regretted making a comment?"
Miiverse post (The second was made 20 minutes later)

"Santana Lopez
still making us all question our sexualities"
YouTube comment on the Glee version of Paula Adbul's "Cold Hearted"

(206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
(512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.

"And the Empress, woof! Iím mostly straight and she makes me reach for the ice water and a fan."
Ching, A Crown of Stars, chapter 16

"Stupid sexy Rei..."
Asuka, Advice and Trust, chapter 8

"I really find you very attractive. Did I say that out loud?"

"I have been told I could make straight men see rainbows."

"Ha-a, dar dar dar dar DA-A!! So confused... what to think? Hot Homestar!? My brain is splitting in half!!"
Strong Bad, Homestar Runner