DM: This is just too weird.
Aragorn: Oh, come on. You said she was hot! "Tall, slim, and graceful, with golden hair," you said.
DM: That's the same description I gave you for Legolas.
Aragorn: Like I said: HOT!
"I think I'm developing a man-crush on Ginko."
—Jason Miao, Derailed by Darry
"You know, it's not gay if you think Rudy's hot. We all think he's hot. My God, you're beautiful."
—Corporal Josh Ray Person, Generation Kill
"I have something of a man crush on Ron Perlman..."
—Lothar Hex, Exterminatus Now
Now, for those of you who don't speak "guy" fluently, "looks like gay porn" is sexually-insecure-straight-male for "I immediately recognize that this depiction of the masculine figure is intended to be arousing, and said recognition makes me uncomfortable.
"I (sic) am not gay but when he smiles he makes me Comfortably Numb"
Elaine: Do either one of you know that blond guy who's always on that show, the really handsome guy?
George: I, uh... I wouldn't know.
Elaine: You know, just admitting that a guy is handsome doesn't make you a homosexual
George: It doesn't help.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
"Oh my God, you could grind meat on those-Gah!"
— Freeza, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
*flashback changes suddenly to Ned Flanders in a latex ski suit*
Ned Flanders: "Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all! Nothin' at all! *close up of Ned's butt* Nothin' at all!"
"I fly to Los Angeles. I am seated across the aisle from Kurt Russell. Now, listen: I am a happily married man. But I am not embarrassed to say that Kurt Russell is an extremely handsome man. And apparently he grew his eye back since he escaped from New York."
— John Hodgman, More Information Than You Require