"I want the world
I want the whole world
Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes
Don't care how, I want it
Don't care how, I want it no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ow!"
— Veruca Salt, "I Want It Now", Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
— Sylvester the Cat
36? But last year, last year I had 37 presents!
Teenagers really have it the worst and rich, famous teenagers have it worser than worse, because they’re used to hearing 'yes
' most of the time, but every now and again some evil torturer has to tell them 'no' and being told 'no' when you’re a famous teenager is worse than getting shot at during war.
Once Emmy (Rossum) discovered that Justin had moved in next-door, she decided to do the good neighbor thing by going over to his house to introduce herself and say hello. Unfortunately, she didn’t get very far because she was stopped by his army of bodyguards, because Justin Bieber
is far too important to say hello to the chick from Shameless
. Also, he was too busy trying to act tough: according to Emmy, Justin rolled up in his Bentley and and started rapping along to the baddest song
on his Kidz Bop
Emmy also says she doubts she’ll be invited to any of Justin Bieber’s clubhouse ragers because she’s 28-years-old and that’s probably too old.
I don’t know about that — he’ll definitely want an adult on hand to help him use the oven if he decides his party needs some Totino’s pizza rolls.
, "Warning: noxious levels of douchery ahead."
Let's face it: If you're walking around with a $100,000 iPod Shuffle case, you're doing that so poor people hate you
. Get the same effect for a fraction of the cost by jamming this diamond-studded pacifier in your infant's mouth. It's the fastest way to tell nearby child psychologists that your baby will have a sex tape by the time it's 18 months old.
By now you've probably read this bonkers interview with Willow and Jaden Smith in which Jaden Smith says the existence of car accidents proves that driver's education is unnecessary
(do not let this kid drive you anywhere). Willow and Jaden are both under 18 years old (Jaden's 16, she's 14), which means you can't really shit on them for being stupid kids who think they're smarter than everyone else. I was like that. That is standard teenage bloviating right there, and I get why it would be unfair to dump on those two for it.
But here's the thing: The average teenager has the good fortune to not display his formative idiocy in front of millions of people. You get to grow up and move past that. By allowing his kids (or shoving them into
) the spotlight, Will Smith
is basically inviting the world to hate his children....They're not gonna get a chance to grow out of this. They don't even go to fucking school. You're doomed if you don't go to school. You are frozen in your teenage shitheadery for life.
The episode left out some deeply uncomfortable spats between Mama June and Alana
. You see it a bit in the broadcast, but Mama June was continually either answering questions on behalf of Boo Boo or mumbling answers to her. The quick wit we've come to expect from Honey Boo Boo was nowhere to be seen, but instead it was fed to her by her pageant mom
...the most notable moment to be left out of Honey Boo Boo’s appearance on The Tonight Show
was when she became so fed up that she actually struck Mama June. Up until this point, [Jimmy] Fallon had been doing a great job of navigating Alana’s weird behavior, but it was at this moment when he became positively awesome. 'NEVER hit your mother!' he exclaimed, in a voice that was serious with just a hint of a joke, and the studio audience erupted in applause.
"That must be the happiest kid in the world..."
, The Simpsons
, referring to Gavin in "Marge Be Not Proud."
"I like getting what I want, so I do whatever I need to get it."