Our subject isn't cool, but he thinks it anyway
He may not have a clue and he may not have style
But for everything he lacks, well he makes up in denial!
— The Offspring, "Pretty Fly for a White Guy"
I walk, everyone watches.
I speak, everyone listens.
If you think I am just showing off you are dead wrong.
All of you just don't know
You just don't know how great I am.
There's no one who can destroy me. I can never be defeated.
I think I'm cute.
I know I'm sexy.
I've got the looks, that drives the girls wild.
I've got the moves, that really move 'em.
I send chills, up and down their spine.
— WWE Superstar Shawn Michaels' entrance theme
"I don't think I'm being overly dramatic when I say this desperate world needed heroes and all those heroes are me."
"And now I can catch up on my beauty sleep, not that I need any."
— Vicky, The Fairly Oddparents
"When it comes to helping his own side, Stanley is somewhere between Gilligan and Starscream."
— Parson, Erfworld
Willa: You know what you are? You're pronoid.
Willa: Mm-hmm. It means that contrary to all the available evidence, you actually think that people like you. Your perception of life is that it's one long benefit dinner in your honor with everybody cheering you on and wanting you to win everything. You think you're the prince, Vince.
Delmy: "I'm Delmy Polanco. I'm the most important UFO blogger in the world."
Booth: "Important blogger, talk about an oxymoron...."
"I know I'm special. This isn't news to me."
— Cartman, South Park
Lady: Will you please, shut up!
Franz Liebkind: You shut up! You are the audience! I am the author! I OUTRANK you!
Titus O'Neil: I'm the star of this show! Matter of fact, I'm the star of every show that the WWE has to offer!
Michael Cole: You've never been on another show!
— WWE NXT January 18, 2012 episode.
"You're right! With my looks and my talent, and you fulfilling the requirement of 3 or more people, we'd be unbeatable!"
— Lexi, A.N.T. Farm
"Somewhere down there is this Darkwing Duck. I've watched him. I know his weakness. His posing, his flamboyance, the mask and cape! Ha, ha! That hat! It all indicates an ego the size of a small planet!"
—Taurus Bulba, Darkwing Duck
"I am the cheese! I am the best character on the show! I am better than both the salami and bologna combined!"
"I can't let myself get a big ego while I'm writing this script. I have to remember that this isn't about me.
I am merely a scribe for god as he channels his divine message through me.''"
— Anonymous Script Writer, for a unreleased film.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you over the sound of how AWESOME I am."
"In my own little way, I understood Michael Jackson. If I use my credit card, they go 'Oh my gosh, there's Lisa Frank who makes the stickers!'"
— Stationary magnate Lisa Frank
"Then of course there's the sub-theme of every [Armond] White review, which is that every other critic is a moral degenerate and an aesthetic cretin. "
—Glenn Kenny, "We Came to White Castle and We Got Thrown Out"
If I was kept waiting beyond a carefully scrutinized five minutes, there was no interview! Rising from my chair and ambling over to the man's secretary, I would bow ever so slightly, the image of genteel breeding; then suddenly, bringing myself up to a dictatorially rigid posture, I would proclaim, my tone controlled but testy: "I'm sorry, young lady, but will you tell your employer that Mr. Exley had other commitments and couldn't wait. If he wishes to set up another appointment and begin it at the — ah — designated time" — I would be looking at my empty wrist as though it contained a hundred-jewel job — "then he knows where to reach me."
—Frederick Exley looks for work, A Fans Notes
Elise: Dan, land the helicopter and let the minor celebrity go!
Helicopter Hal: Minor celebrity?!
Dan: You really didn't know, did you?