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It's time for the second TV Tropes Halloween Avatar Contest, theme: cute monsters! Details and voting here.

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Quotes: Silly Reason for War
"Ninety-nine Decision Street
Ninety-nine ministers meet
To worry, worry, super-scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we've waiting for
This is it boys, this is war
The President is on the line
As ninety-nine red balloons go by"
Nena, "99 Red Balloons"

The next great war in Europe will come from some damned silly thing in the Balkans.

"What was the 1960 race about? Overall, the election of 1960 was largely about appearances-literally. In the television debate between Kennedy and Nixon, Kennedy did not look too young as his handlers feared while, sweating on camera and looking ill-shaven, Nixon did not appeal to many viewers. The only substantive issue of their joint appearance were two islands off China's shore, Quemoy and Matsu, and were these barren lumps a significant part of the free world to be defended to the death by the United States or simply ignored as they had been throughout history and so hardly worth a third world war."
Gore Vidal, Point to Point Navigation

What mighty Contests rise from trivial Things[...!]
The Rape of the Lock

Ivanova: Now, you can start by helping me to understand the precise nature of the conflict between the two sides that you've set up.
Purple Drazi: *Points to green drazi* Green.
Green Drazi: *Points to purple drazi* Purple.
Ivanova: No, I understand that there are two factions, but what is your point of contention? Where do you disagree with each other?
Green Drazi: *Resigned sigh* Purple!
Purple Drazi: Green!
Babylon 5 — "Geometry of Shadows"

[T]he emperor [...] published an edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law, that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on that account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown. [...] It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death, rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end.

As we take the last steps to war!
Phineas and Ferb, "Nerds of a Feather''

Remember what the MPAA says: Horrible, deplorable violence is okay as long as you don't say any naughty woids. That's what this war is all about!
Sheila Broflovski, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

"Two hearts and a wedding broken by a melody? Incredible."

"Why, they was always a-fightin' and a-feudin' and a-shootin' one another. They'd no sooner get one argument settled and they'd find somethin' else to fuss about. Be it if it wasn't one darn thing, it was another. When they couldn't think of nothin' else to wrangle over, the flatfooted peoples started a-shootin' at the bucktoothed people, and the vegetarians began to fight the meat-eatin' people, and you couldn't make head nor tail of it."

Jill: Da, I don't understand. You mean someone was killed over pig food?
Tieryn Braedd: It's the honor of the thing! Never will I let a man take what's rightfully mine. The honor of my warband calls out for vengeance! We'll fight to the last man.
Cullyn: Pity we can't arm the swine. Everyone will fight for their own food.

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