"Everything happens here. You're gonna love it!"
—Gordon Robinson (Matt Robinson), introducing the first episode
Sonny Friendly: YOU SAID HAND, AND PLANNED, THEY RHYME GRAND. YOU DID IT, MARIA! YOU WON THE GRAND PRIZE!
Maria: What did I win?
Sonny Friendly: Well, Tell here about it, Gene! Let her have the grand prize!
*Maria gasps when a big dump truck pours out a big pile of sand*
Announcer: Here it is, Maria. Something that rhymes with grand. Your very dump truck pile of sand. From the house sandy from the sand to the stars.
Maria: No, Wait. I don't want all that sand there. No! STOP! I don't want all that sand there.
—Maria gets the pile sand as the grand prize on one of Sonny Friendly's traveling game show (as seen on episode 2641).
Announcer: We take you now to Kermit the Frog for another fast breaking news story!
Kermit the Frog: Oh, Hi-ho, This Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street news.....
—In the usual opening theme to Sesame Street NEWS with Kermit the Frog.
Pat Playjacks: How many pig squeals there should there be?
Prairie Dawn: I'll do it! (Mumbles himself) TEN! How about ten?
Pat Playjacks: Yes, The number ten! Alright, Let's give the pig a spin and count how many pig-squeals, We hear from the Squeal of Fortune!
*Prairie spins the pig on the turntable*
*Buzzer sounds as the turn table stops*
Pat Playjacks: Oooooh, I'm Sorry, So Sorry, Prairie. You guessed ten and there were only five pig squeals. In today's "Pig.." I mean "Squeal of Fortune" That's too bad.
Prairie Dawn: Oh Dear! I guess I did not win! I don't believe this!
—From the Squeal of Fortune skit after Prairie Dawn got buzzed because she guessed 10, But the pig only made 5 squeals.
Pat Playjacks: Count, Are you ready to play our game?
Count Von Count: Oh, Yes! Sure thing, Pat!
Pat Playjacks: Okay, What's your guess, How many pig squeals?
Count Von Count: Uh, One squeal, No make it Two squeals or three squeals, No wait, Four squeals or Five squeals or Six squeals.....
Pat Playjacks: Uh, Count! We can only take one guess.
Count Von Count: One guess, Two guesses, THREE!
Pat Playjacks: Three? I mean is three your guess?
Count Von Count: Yes?
Pat Playjacks: Alright, That's your guess. Three squeals. So, Give the pig a spin.
*Count spins the the pig on the turntable*
*Pinging sound as the turn table stops*
Count Von Count: Did I say three?
Pat Playjacks: Yes you did.
Count Von Count: I said three! Ha-ha-ha!
Pat Playjacks: That's right! Three squeals, Count Von Count, YOU WON!
Prairie Dawn: WHAT?!? He Won?!? Oh no!
Pat Playjacks: And now it's time for you to pick the prizes inside the studio filled with fabulous prizes. And to show them to us is our co-hostess, Velma Blank. A fifteen gallon tank of finger painting. A hand crafted grapefruit goggle for that protection of that morning squirt. And a larger than life-size portrait of American's 2nd favorite game show host: Pat Playjacks!
—From the Squeal of Fortune skit after Count Von Count wins the game.
The Monster Cookie: KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF, PAL!
Cookie Monster: YIKES! Uh, Cookie talked!
The Monster Cookie: Me not cookie, Me monster!
Cookie Monster: Me too, Me Cookie Monster!
The Monster Cookie: Me, Monster Cookie!
—From the 1992 Cookie Monster skit after eating the whole box of birthday cookies, He went into a nightmare on meeting the giant talking cookie named: The Monster Cookie.
An Eel: Pardon me, But is this "Eel of Fortune?"
Pat Plajacks: Uh, no! The Eel of Fortune is next door. This is "Squeal of Fortune". (To the viewers) So, tune in tomorrow for another episode of (Audience says along) "SQUEAL! OF! FORTUNE!"
—Used at the end of the Squeal of Fortune skit.
Director: Get ready for the alphabet chat for (whatever letter it is). Mr. Lord Chattery, Are you ready?
Lord Chattery: Well, I'm ready when you are.
Director: Alright, Alphabet Chat (whatever letter it is) Take 1 (Claps the clapboard). All right cue the theme song.
Chrous: (Sings the Alphabet Song in the style of Bach's Fugue 2) A-B-C-D-E, C-D-E-F-G, H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P, Q-R-S-T-U, R-S-T-U-V, S-T-U-V-X-Y and Z, That's my A-B-C!
—The opening phrase for Alphabet Chat!
Grover: The best to check your teeth is to see a tooth doctor!
Kermit the Frog: (With teeth) Uh, Grover. It's actually known as a dentist.
Dentist: Uh, yes. Open wide, please. (As Kermit opens his mouth, The dentist checks Kermit's false teeth) Uh, yes! Good healthy teeth.
Kermit the Frog: Why, thank you! But they are not my teeth.
Dentist: Sure, Pal!
—From the Grover's health minute lecture on teeth
Cookie Monster: (Woke up sadly) What a dream! Oh, Very sad! (He suddenly gets angered after he was about eat a cookie) OH! NO NO NO NO! Me never eat cookies again! No, from now on, Me eat carrots (As he does) OM! NOM! NOM! NOM! And fish (As he does) OM! NOM! NOM! NOM! And whole wheat bread! (As he does) OM! NOM! NOM! NOM! And no, no cookies! Sorry, Cookie. Me cannot eat you ever..... Say you talking, Cookie? Hmm, You crying, Cookie? Hmm, (Eats the cookie) OM! NOM! NOM! NOM! Well, maybe sometime a cookie!
—At the end of the 1992 skit after the Cookie Monster's nightmare on meeting The Monster Cookie!
Gordon: Hello, Sproutlets. I'm Gordon from Sesame Street. Every year, There are number of natural disasters that effect many people. Even if you are not directly effective, The Television coverage of these events can be scary, Especially for young children. Back in 2001, We featured a week long story about a hurricane on Sesame Street. This story line allowed us to provide strategies and to help them to hope with their emotions while faces with a natural disaster. So watch with it your child, And talk about fears or concerns he, or she might have.
—On the PBS Kids Sprout broadcast of the 2001 Hurricane episode of Sesame Street. Which is shown after a big hurricane storm happened.
Announcer: We interrupt this program to bring you a word from your chicken. And now, Here is your local chicken, Zelda.
Gordon: Hey, Zelda? You're on!
Gordon: (Translating the clucks) For those of you who don't speak chicken, Zelda says she is mighty proud to be a chicken.
—From the late 80's sketch: A Word from Your Local Chicken.
Grodon: (Translating the clucks) So just remember, folks. Dogs bark, Cats meow, Ducks quack, And cows moo. But only a chicken can cluck.
Zelda: (Clucking Thank You)
Gordon: You're Welcome, Zelda!
Announcer: This announcement is provided by "The Proud to be a Chicken Association!"
—The ending of "A Word from your Local Chicken"
Big Bird: Well, I can't wait till he sees it. (the adults' faces quickly turn upset) Say, Where is he? I want to give it to him. I know, He's in the store.
Bob: Uh, Big Bird. He's... not in there.
Big Bird: Then, Where is he?
Maria: Big Bird, Don't you remember we told you? Mr. Hooper died. He's dead.
Big Bird: Oh, yeah! I remember. Well, I'll give it to him when he comes back.
Susan: Big Bird, Mr. Hooper's not coming back.
Big Bird: Why not?
Susan: Big Bird, when people die, they don't come back.
Big Bird: (Voice breaks down) Ever?!?
Susan: No, never.
Big Bird: Well, why not?!?
Luis: Well, Big Bird.. they're dead. They can't come back.
Big Bird: Well he's gotta come back. I mean who's going to take care of the store? Who's going to make my birdseed milkshakes and tell me stories?!?
David: Big Bird, I'm going to take care of the store. Mr. Hooper...he left it to me. And I'll make you your milkshakes. And we'll all tell you stories. And make sure you're okay.
Susan: Sure. We'll look after you.
Big Bird: Well, It won't be the same.
Bob: You're right, Big Bird. It'll never be the same around here without him. But do you know something? (As he smiles sadly) We can all be very happy that we had a chance to be with him, and to know him, and to love him a lot...when he was here.
Olivia: And Big Bird, we still have our memories of him.
Big Bird: Yeah, memories. That's how I drew this picture, from memory. And we can remember him and remember him and remember him as much as we want to. (beat) But I don't like it. It makes me sad.
David: We all feel sad, Big Bird.
Big Bird: He's never coming back?
Big Bird: I don't understand. You know, EVERYTHING WAS JUST FINE! AND WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?!? GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON!(Everybody pauses for a moment)
Gordon: Big Bird, it has to be this way... because.
Big Bird: Just because?
Gordon: Just because.
Big Bird: (As he looks sadly at his drawing of Mr. Hooper) You know, I'm going to miss you, Mr. Looper.
Maria: (As she smiles sadly) That's Hooper, Big Bird. Hooper.
Big Bird: Right. (Camera zooms out as everybody comforts Big Bird for the loss of his friend)
—From the saddest moment of Episode 1839. The episode was dedicated to the memory actor Will Lee (1908-1982).
Maria: (To the Two-Headed Monsters, who planned a violin lullaby for Irvine) Oh no no! You don't understand, guys! You see, She is not like a regular baby, She is a grouch baby. She has the tendency to scream and cry a lot.
—From episode #2402.
Maria: (As she complains to Oscar) I could not calm Irvine's tantrum down. I have tried stories, I have tried lullabies, I tried different things but she keeps doing the same thing. She keeps crying and crying, I can't stand it, anymore. I quit, I give up!
Oscar: Oh relax, sweetheart. There is only one way to calm a grouch baby down. (To Grugetta) Oh, Grugetta?
Grugetta: Yes, Oscar?
Oscar: Hey, I just had a rotten time with you, today!
Grugetta: Oh, yeah?!? Well, I had a worse time with you!!!
Oscar: I DID NOT!!!
Grugetta: YOU DID TOO!!!
Oscar: DID NOT!!!
Grugetta: DID TOO!
*Irvine finally calms down from her tantrum*
Oscar: You see, Grouch babies love to calm down to a sound of a good loud argument.
*Oscar and Grugetta continues arguing*
Maria: (In frustration as the grouches argued) SESAME STREET HAS BEEN SPONSORED BY THE LETTERS C, AND F, AND BY THE NUMBER 8! SESAME STREET IS A PRODUCTION OF THE CHILDREN'S TELEVISION WORKSHOP! AUDIOS!
From the ending of episode #2402.
Gordon: How is she, Angela?
Angela: She is very uncomfortable. I am sorry, I would had tell her sooner.
Gordon: Just give her a kiss from us, And tell her I said hello.
Big Bird: Sounds like somebody has a problem. Maybe I can help. (To Susan and Gordon) Hey, What is wrong, you guys?
Susan: We have a big problem, Big Bird.
Big Bird: Well, Great!
Big Bird: Well, I mean I can help with your problem.
Susan: I don't know if you can, Big Bird.
Big Bird: Well, can you explain it?
Gordon: Okay, Here is our problem. We were going to spend a sleep over at my cousin Angela's apartment while our apartment is being repainted. Miles is sleeping over at his friend's house and he is doing fine. But however, Angela just found out that her baby daughter has the chickenpox. So, now we need to find another place to sleep.
— From episode #3139.
Elmo: What do you mean Abby's other house?
Abby Cadabby: Well, This is my mother's house, and this is my father's house.
Rosita: But don't your parents live together? Why don't they?
Abby Cadabby: Well, My parents are divorced.
Rosita: Wait, What is a "Divorce"?!?
Gordon: A "Divorce" means that her parents are not married, Anymore.
Elmo: Why not?!?
Gordon: Well, They tried and tried. And they could not get along. It sometimes not working.
— From the "Little Kids, Big Challenge" episode.
Elmo: Elmo was scared before, but Elmo isn't scared, anymore.
Bill Walsh: It's okay, Elmo.
— From episdoe #3981. The fire at Hooper's Store episode was dedicated to the memory to the citizens of Manhattan NY who died from The World Trade Centre destruction from the 9/11 terrorist attack.
Oscar: What do you mean you want to put the pieces together for? It's looks better this way. Like a busted Clarinet. Which is perfect!
Richard Stoltzman: (Chuckles) Yeah I know, Oscar. But you can't play a clarinet, Until you put the pieces together, (Holds up a clarinet that put together) That looks a lot like this one here.
Oscar: Well, Who cares if you play it. Personally, I like to see you drop it and break it. I love broken clarinets.
Telly Monster: Well, I care if he plays. So you go ahead and built it.
Richard Stoltzman: Okay, Here is the first part....
*Toots it and it makes an awful sound*
Oscar: NO, WAIT! I like that! It sounded like a funny duck.
Richards Stoltzman: I knew you would. And now, Here is the second part. The Barrel.
Telly Monster: It looks teeny.
Oscar: Oh, NO! NO! NO! It looked better before.
Richard Stoltzman: Alright, How about the third part?
Oscar: Oh, NO! NO! NO! You are going into the wrong direction!
Telly Monster: Aw, It's getting to sound good, Oscar.
Richard Stoltzman: Okay, Now this is the forth part. Oh, This is for you, Oscar.
*Toots it and it buzzes*
Oscar: Wow! Hey, That wasn't bad.
Richard Stoltzman: Okay, Telly. Can you guess this part is?
Telly Monster: I don't know, Is it the end?
Richard Stoltzman: Well, That's a good guess. And it's also know as the bell.
Telly Monster: Oh, The bell.
Richard Stoltzman: And that's the last part. And now, You got a clarinet that's like the one that's put together and it's ready to be played from the bottom to the top.
Telly Monster: Let's hear it.
Richard Stoltzman: Okay, Here we go! (Plays the opening to Rhapsody in Blue on the clarinet)
— From episode #2633. Richard Stoltzman, The clarinet player visits Sesame Street. In the scene where he told Oscar that playing the clarinet with just the pieces won't make a good sound.
Telly Monster: Hello, and welcome to the answer and question show: "Asssssssk Oscar!" And now, here is Oscar!
*Linda pops out of Oscar's trashcan*
Telly Monster: (To Linda) Oh, I know, I know. You are not Oscar, You are Linda. (To the viewers) You see, Oscar could not be here, today. But Linda asked if she can pretend to be Oscar the Grouch.
— From the "Ask Oscar" segment where Linda fills in for Oscar.
Oscar: Well, I love your work. I love how hate a movie.
Roger Ebert: Yeah, I bet you do. If we don't like a movie, We give it a thumbs down. We put our thumb upside down.
Telly Monster: Thumbs upside down?
Roger Ebert: Yes, Thumbs upside down.
Telly Monster: What do you suppose if you like a movie?
Gene Siskel: Well, If we like a movie, Then we give it a thumbs up. We put our thumbs right side up.
Telly Monster: Thumbs rightside up?
Gene Siskel: That's right, Rightside up.
— From the "Sneak Peak Previews" segment where Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel teaches Telly Monster and Oscar the Grouch how they do their "rating a movie" system.
Pierre the Waiter: Oh, Are you Guy Smiley? Welcome again to "Chet Nomie: Restaurant of the Semi Stars."
Guy Smiley: Thank You, Pierre, Thank You. I hope you have lots of chairs, Pierre. Because, Today. I Guy Smiley, America's favorite Game Show host is bringing my entire studio audience to lunch!
— From the insert where Guy Smiley brings his audience to lunch.
Guy Smiley: I'll think I'll go in and sit down.
Pierre the Waiter: Oh, no no no! You may not go in and sit down.
Guy Smiley: But, Why not?!?
Pierre the Waiter: Because, There is no chair for you. We have a table for 39, But we don't have a table for 40!
— At the end of the insert where Guy Smiley brings his audience to lunch.
Mr. Johnson: I'll will like to a.....
Grover: Sir, I am sorry to interrupt you but I would like to ask you please take a number. You see, When I call the number, Then you will be served. So please, take a number.
Mr. Johnson: But, I the only one in here.
Grover: I am sorry, Sir. But that's our policy. The sign says John's bakery, NOT Grover's bakery. I only work here. Please take a number.
Mr. Johnson: Okay, Okay, I'll take a number.
Grover: Over here, sir. Over here. This machine will give you a number. So, go ahead.
*Mr. Johnson pulls the lever of the number machine*
Grover: Very good, And what's your number?
Mr. Johnson: 40.
Grover: 40, and that is your number.
—From the Grover the Baker sketch.
Oscar: (Sighs) This is the greatest day of my life. This calls for a celebration: An anchovy sundae Ice-Cream!
Leela: Oh, Oscar. How could you eat at a time like this?
Oscar: With a spoon?
Leela: You Know what, Oscar? You are a grouchy monster. That's who you are! You need to tell us the cure for Mine-itis!
Oscar: Oh, Yeah? And why do you want to do a silly thing like that?!?
Elmo: Because nobody on Sesame Street is sharing, That's why!!!
— Elmo and Leela are in rage with Oscar when Oscar refuses to tell them the cure for Mine-Itis, in Episode 4181.
Alistair Cookie: CUT! Me very sorry! But that wasn't Twelve Angry Men, That was Two Proud Pigs, A story about two pigs who are proud. And who should blame. Well, No time left for Twelve Angry Men So this Alistair Cookie saying......
Lavender AM Angry Man #1: NO TIME FOR US?!?
Fat Blue AM Angry Man: YOU INTRODUCED THREE SAD COWS AND TWO PROUD PIGS AND YOU RAN OUT OF TIME?!?
Orange Gold AM Angry Man: YEAH, THAT MAKES ME REALLY ANGRY!!!
Alistair Cookie: Well, That's showbiz!
Hot Pink AM Angry Man: SHOWBIZ?!? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, YOU GOT TWELVE ANGRY MEN HERE!!!
Alistair Cookie: Yeah! Well, there you have it, Twelve Angry Men. So this Alistair Cookie saying goodbye from Monsterpiece Theatre. (To the Angry men) Hey, chill out.
Lavender AM Angry Man #2: YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR FROM MY AGENT!!!
—At the end of the Twelve Angry Men segment from Monsterpiece Theatre.
Bert: (Sighs) This is great! Ernie is sleeping over at Count Von Count's castle tonight. So I have the place all by myself. For one thing, He is not going to wake me up. No surprises, Just piece and quiet. I'll settle into my blanket, And go to sleep.
—At the opening part of the song Bert's Blanket as Bert mentions to viewers that Ernie is having a sleepover at Count Von Count's castle. Before the sheep arrives at Ernie and Bert's apartment to sing a song with Bert how his blanket was made from the wool of the sheep.
Telly Monster: Why does she need that machine? She can watch TV.
Maria: Yeah, But you don't just watch TV, You listen to TV as well. But Linda can't hear it because she is deaf.
Telly Monster: Oh, That's not fun.
Maria: Not at all. But with this machine, She can read the words on the screen.
—Maria explains to Telly Monster about what Closed Caption is.
*As Maria holds a pretend Television with a message a sheet of paper which Telly reads and Maria moves her lips without making a voice*
Telly Monster: (As he reads the message) "Hello, Telly! How are you?
Telly Monster: Oh, That's what you were saying! I could not hear it, But I can read it.
Maria: That's right. And that is what this machine is going to do. It's going to make it possible for Linda to just read the words on the screen.
—As Maria demonstrates to Telly Monster how Closed Caption works.
Ernie: Boy, look at that moon. Ain't that pretty? Do you ever wanted to visit the moon? Well I do.
—Ernie's spoken introduction for the song I Don't Want To Live On The Moon.
Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!! EVERYTHING IS "CERRADO!!!"
Maria: Yeah, I see. Everything is closed!
Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: CAN YOU HELP ME?!? PLEASE, CAN YOU FIX IT?!?
Maria: Why yes, What you need is this....
*Opens the toolbox and takes out the word "Abierto"
Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: Abierto?
Maria: Why yes, Abierto is the Spanish word for Open. ABIERTO!
*We see everything automatically opening up*
'''Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: Abierto, Wow!
—At the end of the Cerrado song (Part 1 song)
Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!! EVERYTHING IS "ABIERTO!!!"
Maria: Yeah, I can see that. Everything is open!
Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: CAN YOU HELP ME?!? PLEASE, CAN YOU FIX IT?!?
Maria: Why yes, I can!
Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: Oh that's great! What do I need?
Maria: Well, What you need is this....
*Opens the the tool box and takes out the word "Cerrado"
Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: Cerrado?
Maria:Why yes. You see, Everything is Abierto, Which is the Spanish word for Open. And this is Cerrado, Which is the Spanish word for Closed. CERRADO!
*We see everything automatically closes down*
Frustrated Green Anything Muppet Man: Unreal, You are a genius.
Maria: Well, Just in a days work.
—-At the end of the Abierto song (Part 2 song)
*The piano breaks in half and it shatters*
Chrissy: Hey Matt, Send in the the next piano. Will ya? (To the balls of fur) Okay, Fellas. Take eight!
—At the end of the song: Eight Balls of Fur.
Kermit the Frog: This is Disgracing the Frog returning to your regular schedule program. (To the emotional dwarfs) Could you guys try to control your emotions?!?
—From the ending of The Sesame Street news on The Seven Emotional Dwarfs.
Phil Harmonic: Hello, This is Phil Harmonic, Welcoming you once again to Pretty Great Performances. Today from Barnagie Hall. The All-Animal Chamber Music Ensemble will be playing a song called The Concerto for Flute and Animals composed by Johan Sebastian Fox. Joining them is our special guest artist: James Galway.
—The opening to James Galway in the Pretty Great Performances segment on Sesame Street.
Phil Harmonic: We had just heard The All-Animal Music Chamber Ensemble with guest soloist, James Galway. This is Phil Harmonic from Pretty Great Performances saying so-long and see you soon.
—The closing line to James Galway in the Pretty Great Performances segment on Sesame Street.
Frazzle: Excuse me, But is this the home of Sesame Street Fever?
—Frazzle the orange monster was curious on how dance the in door and the out door at a disco dance hall.
Frazzle: (Singing) In in in for more........ In in in for....
Janitor: Hold it right there, Sonny. There is no more. We are closing now. Watch your step.
Frazzle: Well, I guess it's (Singing) Out out out the door........ Out out out the....
—At the end of the In and Out song after the janitor tells Frazzle there is no more and the disco dance hall is now closing for the night.
Big Bird: Hey, I got extra piggy leftover.
Snuffy: What will that little piggy do, Bird?
Big Bird: Hmm, I Know, This little piggy was on, Squeal of Fortune!
*Scene morphs to the Squeal of Fortune title card*
Audience: SQUEAL! OF! FORTUNE!
*Theme music plays as the audience cheers and the logo opens like a garage door*
Pat Playjacks: (As he goes through the curtain) Hello, Everybody. I am Pat Playjacks. Happy to welcome you to (audience says along) SQUEAL! OF! FORTUNE! Yes, and we have a great show lined up for us today. First from Transylvania, We have Count Von Count.
Count Von Count: Hello, Pat!
Pat Playjacks: Hello, Count. And what do you do for a living, Count?
Count Von Count: I count.
Pat Playjacks: And do you have any hobbies?
Count Von Count: I count.
Pat Playjacks: Why yes. And from Sesame Street here is Prairie Dawn
Prairie Dawn: Hello, Pat.
Pat Playjacks: Nice to have you, Prairie. What do you do for a living.
Prairie Dawn: Well, I go to school and play the piano and soccer. And let me say something, Pat? It is so nice to be on a normal sensible like yours.
Pat Playjacks: Ah, Isn't she sweet? Why Thank You, Prairie. And since your are the first contestant, How many pig squeals do you think there will be?
Prairie Dawn: Pig-Squeals?!? What are you talking about?
Pat Playjacks: What are we talking about, Let's tell our audience that this is the (Audience says along) SQUEAL! OF! FORTUNE!
—From the Squeal of Fortune skit with intro from Big Bird and Snuffy from episode 2947.
Announcer: And now, It's time for newest, hippest, best dressed, detective show on television: Miami Mice.
—The opening line to the Miami Mice.
Announcer: And now
*Drumroll sounds, then clock ticks and the slide whistle, cuckoo, and bells sounds*
Announcer: Once again, It's time for television's favorite quiz show: What's My Part?
*The color gears on the What's My Part? logo flashes when the theme plays*
Announcer: And now, Here is the genius and master ceremony of What's My Part?, Guy Smiley!
Guy Smiley: (As he struggles to the curtain, Then comes through) HELLO, THERE! I'm Guy Smiley. And Welcome to What's My Part? This where the famous part of the comes in and tries to stomp our panel of experts.
—The opening to What's My Part?
Announcer: And now, Let's all play What Happens Next?
*Wild cheering as theme music plays and the title fades to the game show studio with Gordon and the dinger*
Gordon: HELLO! I am Gordon, And welcome to What Happens Next? The game show where you, have to find out What Happens Next?
—The opening to What Happens Next?
Guy Smiley: Nope, You are close. But, You all guessed wrong. This person is a television game show host, And his name is Sonny Friendly.
Sonny Friendly: Are we having a nice day, or what?
Sonny Friendly: And how about that panel? Are they good sports or what?'''
Guy Smiley: Well, this is America's favorite game show host, Guy Smiley saying....
Sonny Friendly: YEAH! Let's hear it Guy! Shall we? He is a wonderful guest.
Guy Smiley: NO! I AM NOT THE GUEST, I AM THE HOST OF THE SHOW!
Sonny Friendly: This is Sonny Friendly saying...
Guy Smiley: YOU ARE SAYING IT, I SAY IT!...
Sonny Friendly: But I....
Guy Smiley: NO YOU WONT! (To the crew member) THIS WHOLE THING WAS ROTTEN IDEA! WHO PUT THIS MAN ON THE SHOW?!?
'''Announcer: Mr. Smiley's suit is by Sierra Lagoon and Mr. Friendly's suit is by Fredwick the Frensworth.
—The ending line from the game show sketch: What's My Job?
Gina: You see, David doesn't live on Sesame Street anymore. You see, He moved to live his grandmother at her farm. When he left Sesame Street, He sold Hooper's Store to Mr. Handford. And that makes Mr. Handford my new boss.
—From episode 2620. The debut episode for Mr. Handford.
Announcer: And now it's for everybody's favorite game show, What's My Letter? And here is the host of What's My Letter?, Guuuuuuuuy Smiley!!!
Guy Smiley: Thank You, Thank You! Hello, everybody. I am America's Favorite Game Show host, Guy Smiley. And panel, It's nice to see you. And are your blindfold's in place?
Sherlock Hemlock: I can't see a thing, Guy!
Don Music: Yeah, Who turned out the lights?
Cookie Monster: Hello, Guy.
—The opening of What's My Letter?
Letter X: Nope, I am sorry, Sherlock. I am not the letter I.
Cookie Monster: Ooooh
Don Music: Well, then.
Guy Smiley: I am so sorry, panel. He not the letter I and we have now ran out of time. So.....
Letter X: Mr. Smiley, I gotta go.
Guy Smiley: What do you mean?
Letter X: I have some friends waiting at the door.
Guy Smiley: But, Mystery Letter, You can't go out now!
*Curtain reveals the exit sign which reads "E-IT" and the letter X sits between the E and the I to make the word "EXIT"*
Guy Smiley: How did he do that? Well, Thank you very much panel. That concludes this week's program.
Don Music: And how do we get out?
Guy Smiley: Go through the exit, folks. To the exit.
Announcer: You sure fooled them, X.
—The ending of the game show sketch: What's My Letter?
Luis: Hey, everybody. We got a plan.
Big Bird: My home, My nest.
Luis: Yes, This is what our plan is, Big Bird. Rebuilding your nest. As we can see, There has been a lot of damaged done.
Big Bird: A lot of damage?!? Oh, my home, my nest.
Maria: Big Bird, That's what Luis is trying to tell you. We can fix things.
Gabi: Yeah, My mother is good at fixing things.
Big Bird: You mean you can fix my nest?
Maria: Why sure!
Big Bird: (To radar) Well, Radar. We can be home tonight.
Maria: Wrong, Big Bird. You will not have your home tonight.
Big Bird: But, why not?!?
Gordon: Well, Even with everybody pitching in, That's a lot of work.
Alan: It will take time. So you got to be patient.
Big Bird: But I want to go home to my nest now, And where will I stay?!?
Susan: Well, There is some leftover birdseed stew in our apartment.
Big Bird: Oh, Okay.
'''Snuffy: Hello Bird....Wait, What happened to your nest, Bird?!?
Big Bird: Well, The hurricane blew my nest away.
Snuffy: Oh dear. That makes me so sad, Bird.
Big Bird: I know, Snuffy.
—From the Hurricane episode when they prepared to fix and restore Big Bird's nest.
Big Bird: Coming soon on Sesame Street!
—From Season 24 (1992-1993) to Season 29 (1997-1998). At the end of each episode, Big Bird would give viewers a sneak peak of an upcoming episode.
Big Bird: Toodle-Loo!
Annnouncer: Funding for Sesame Street is provided by The Corporation for Public Broadcasting, And by Public Television Stations, And their contributors.
—Big Bird signs off following by a child announcer announcing the funding. First used on Season 24 (1992-1993), And was last used on Season 29 (1997-1998).
Guy Smiley: Come close, Mr. Camera. (As he whispers) Now, the word is "STOP!"
*We see the flashing word "STOP" at the bottom of the screen*
Guy Smiley: Now, I will tell Chester O'Leary on what that word is. (To Chester O'Leary) "(whispering) The Word is "STOP!"" And then you have make Maurice Monster to say that word before the clock comes to top. Now, Do not start until you hear the sound of the bell, AND HERE COMES THE BELL NOW!!!
—From the Sesame Street game show sketch: Say the Word
Shoe Store Employer: I'm Sorry, So Sorry but, those are different shoes. I'm afraid you will have to agree on the same pairs.
—From the sketch where The Two Headed Monster goes shopping at a shoe store.
Bushman Bill: Hey, This is Bushman Bill with a song you had been waiting for! That's right, Boys and Girls! And Bushman Bill played it first right here. The Uno Renuno hit song on The Hit Parade this week, It's Didi O'Dey and the Dew Drops in BE MY D!
—In the opening to the song Be My D. As the song is introduced by Bushman Bill.
Bushman Bill: Hey, That was Didi O'Dey and the Dew Drops in BE MY D! Remember you heard it with Bushman Bill. We now return to your regular schedule kiddie show!
—Bushman Bill's sign off phrase after playing Be My D.
Alex: I don't want to talk about my father.
Abby Cadabby: What's wrong about your father?
Rosita: What is it? Did he go on vacation?
Alex: No, Where he is at. I don't want to talk about it.
Sofia: But where is your father?
Alex: My father, is in, JAIL!
Rosita: But what happened?!?
Alex: I don't know, I don't want to know about.
Sofia: Actually, I do. I know what are you going to.
Alex: You do?
Sofia: Yes, I do. When I was about your age, My father was sent to jail. What you are going through is Incarceration.
Abby Cadabby: An Incarceration?!?
Rosita: What is an Incarceration?
Sofia: What it means is, When somebody violates a law, Which is a grown up rule, Then they have to go to jail or prison.
— On the Little Kids, Big Challenge episode on Incarceration.!
Announcer: Travel arrangement is provided by Motel 12345678910! Travel by Terminal A line. Sonny Friendly's by Vic Sue.
— At the end of Here is Your Life: Storybook with Sonny Friendly.
Elmo: Does Mr. Charles reads with his fingers instead of his eyes?
Ray Charles: Why yes, Elmo! Well, You see. I am blind, And my eyes don't work to good anymore. That's why I have to read the lyrics with my fingers.
—When Ray Charles performed Believe in Yourself. As he tells Elmo that Ray Charles has to use fingers to read because he is blind and can't see with his eyes.
Guy Smuley: Can you guess what the name of this shape is?
Betty Lou: Why of course, It's a....
*Carl buzzes in*
Guy Smiley: Yes, Carl?
Carl: Is it a circle?
Betty Lou: Oh no!
Guy Smiley: Oh, I'm sorry Carl, But that's the wrong answer.
Betty Lou: Don't you get it, Carl. The answer is always the same. It's a triangle.
— A line from The Shape Is Right.
Oscar: The music lesson is for my pet worm.
Yosh Shmenge: (Chuckles) No! You gotta be kidding me. Let me show what I mean, It's impos impos, I meant, They can't do it. Watch this: (Plays a song on a clarinet) You see, I have fingers. But the worms don't have fingers. So they can't play the clarinet.
— Yosh Shmenge (John Candy) teaches Oscar a lesson about why worms can't play a clarinet.
British Chap: HEY, THAT BIG BLUE MONSTER STOLE MY CANE!
Guy Smiley: I am very sorry but we are busy doing a television show right now.
British Chap: Are you Guy Smiley?!?
Guy Smiley: Yes, I am!
British Chap: Is this Beat the Time?!?
Guy Smiley: Yes, We are busy playing a game. And Cookie Monster needs to find two things that rhyme with rain.
— From the Beat the Time skit where Cookie Monster is the contestant.
Announcer: And now, Let's join the crew of SPACESHIP SURPRISE as they travel through space and search for new stars and planets.
—The opening to the Season 20 skit: Spaceship Surprise. A parody of Star Trek.
Susan: That's a nice song, Big Bird. But I really hate to tell you this. But, That's not a word!
Big Bird: It's not a word?
Susan: No Big Bird. This is the alphabet. You see? A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z!
Big Bird: It's not a word. It's not Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
Susan: Of course not, Big Bird. But what it is a list of letters we use to make words. For example. If we put C, A, and R, We make our own word, C-A-R Car!
—At the end of the song Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz When Susan told Big Bird that's not a real word, It's the letters of the alphabet.
Ernie: (Gasp) BERT! You are not going to put him into the tub like that!
Bert: But what's wrong, Ernie?!? What is it? What is it?!?
Ernie: Well, what's wrong is, You realized there is nothing for him to play with? You call that planning? I'll be right back.
Bert: Oh, I am sorry, Brad. You wanted something to play with. I'm sorry! (To Ernie) Ernie, What is this?
Ernie: Okay, Now here we go!
—The quote from the sketch where Bert is trying to give his nephew Brad a bath.
Ernie: Now, What is it, Bert?!?
Bert: THAT WILL JUST ABOUT DO IT! I CANNOT GIVE BRAD A BATH WITH ALL THE TOYS IN THERE!
Ernie: You can't Bert?
Bert: No, Of Course I can't.
—After Ernie filled up too much bath toys into the tub, Bert got very angry at Ernie that now, He can't give Brad a bath.
*As Richard Stoltzman plays the show's theme song on the clarinet*
Telly Monster: Hello, Welcome to Sesame Street. This is my friend Richard Stoltzman. He is visiting with us today. Do you what instrument he is playing is called. It's called a clarinet. Let's hear it.
—The opening to episode #2633.
Guy Smiley: No don't cry tears of joy yet, Painting. Inspired by the painting, Listen to this:
The voice: Painting? You captured my true spirit!
Painting of a Bowl of Fruit: (Gasps) Could it be?
Guy Smiley: YES IT IS! Inspired by the painting, Now living in Sally Soho's dining room, It's Betty Bowl of Plastic Fruit!
*As we Betty arriving*
Painting of a Bowl of Fruit: Oh, Betty. You almost look like real fruit.
Betty Bowl of Plastic Fruit: So do you.
—From the Here is Your Life episode on The Painting of a Bowl of Fruit.
Announcer: It's time once again, once again for the Family Food! Introducing the hungry family ready for action. On your marks! Here is America's most be loving game show host: Richard Dawson.
Richard Dawson: Nice to see you. I'm America's most beloving game show host, Richard Dawson. Welcoming you the Family Food.
—From the 1981 Sesame Street game show sketch: Family Food. A spoof of Family Feud. This was the very first Sesame Street Game Show sketch to not be hosted by Guy Smiley.
Mr. Essex: GOOD MORNING, CLASS!
The Students: GOOD MORNING, MR. ESSEX!
Mr. Essex: Now today, Class. We are going to learn about rhymes. Words rhyme when they sound the same. For example: Nose and goes.
—The opening lines to the song The Muppets Rhyme at School.
Hoots the Owl: (To his band) Listen up, Everybody. We got a real dude that is very cool, And very fresh. But he has a problem that he wants to lay on us. (To Ernie) So, Come on in, Ernie my man!
—The opening late to the song Put Down the Duckie, As the band warms up.
Announcer: And now, It's time for everybody's favorite game show: Bring that Thing! And now, Here is America's Favorite Game Show host: GUYYYYYYYYY SMILEY!
Guy Smiley: (As he struggles through the curtain) Thank you, This is, This is, (Finally get his eyes out of the curtain) WOO! This is Guy Smiley, America's Favorite Game Show host welcoming to you to Bring That Thing! This is the game show where you bring those things. Now meet our contestant, All away from Mars. Here they are, Stevie and Jonathan Martians.
Yip Yip Martians: Hello, Guy.
—The Opening to Sesame Street Bring that Thing sketch. Where Guy Smiley addresses the Yip-Yip Martians as "Stevie" and "Jonathan" martians.
Yip Yip Martians: Flashlight!
Guy Smiley: Wonderful. That's one thing that involves light. Why don't we turn off the studio lights (As he does) and see if the flashlight does work. Turn on your flashlight.
*The Yip Yip Martians turns on their flashlight*
—From the game show sketch: Bring That Thing!
Alistair Cookie: Tonight, Me proud to you present, The classic movie: Monsters with Dirty Faces. A story about monsters, and their dirty faces. So now, Monsters with dirty faces. (Mind struck his head) Oh, You no adjust TV sets, Movies in black and white.
—The opening to the Monsterpiece Theatre skit on Monsters with Dirty Faces as Alistair Cookie reminds the viewers to not adjust their TV since the movie is in black and white.
Maria: This looks a lot like the piano at Bob's apartment, Or is this an electric keyboard? Does it do more?
Herbie Hancock: Why yes. Well you see, This is not just a piano. This is a synthesizer. It's a computer based synthesizer. All these things work together, And there is a typewriting keyboard that Clyde is front of.
The kids: Hello, Clyde.
Clyde: Hello, Kids.
Herbie Hancock: Well, It can do so many different things that you can't do on a piano. For example: I can hit one note, And make a bunch of notes play. I can hit one, And a bunch notes play, Like this (Presses a key and a saxophone plays a scale note) see? A bunch of notes play. It can make different sounds
Kid 1: Can it make an elephant?
Herbie Hancock: I can do that!
Kid 2: And noise?
Herbie Hancock: I can make noises too!
— From the insert where Herbie Hancock demonstrates the synthesizer.
Grover: Hello, Sir. What is that painting. It looks like a painting your great, great, grandmother.
Mr. Johnson: Uh, No! That's my wife!
—From the skit where Mr. Johnson goes to the picture frame shop.
Big Bird: (Dressed in a Bus driver costume)(To the Four Tops) Good Morning, Step Lively! I got a lot of stops to make. (To the viewers) Oh, Hello. I can't stop now. Don't want to keep the passengers waiting. (To the Four Tops) Let's go!
— The ending to The Bus Stop Song by The Four Tops.
Mr. Handford: (As grabs the phone) (Angerly) Count, You cannot tie up the phone like this!
— Mr. Handford scolding the Count when The Count refuses to pick up the phone. He count the ringtones instead.
Yip Yip Martian: Yip Yip Yip Yip E.T.?
Kermit the Frog: Uh, No! No, I am not E.T., I am Kermit the Frog.
— From the Sesame Street NEWS sketch where Kermit the Frog does the report on the spaceship invading Old MacDonald's farm.
Sonny Friendly: WAIT?!? My Teddy Bear?!? THAT'S THE GRAND PRIZE?!? BUT, I LOVE MY TEDDY BEAR! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! (Sobs loudly)
Announcer: Sonny Friendly, You cried the hardest. YOU WON!
Sonny Friendly: WHAT?!? I WON?!? OH, FOR JOY!!! I WON THE TEDDY BEAR! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! Now now lets give some contestants some consolation prize.....
Announcer: Sorry, There is no consolation prize.
Luke Warm: WHAT?!? No consolation prize?!? (Voice breaks down) This is awful!
Ida Normer: (Sobbing) IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!!
Pierre Blue: (Voice breaks down) This is so SAD!
*All three contestants sobs in failure*
Sonny Friendly: Well, We all can't be winners, You know! Oh, I am so happy to have you back, Teddy. Well, This is America's 3rd Favorite Game Show host, Sonny Friendly saying we will see you again real soon on, The Crying Game Show!
From The Crying Game Show sketch.
Announcer: Welcome to America's most emotional game show, The Crying Game Show. And now, Here is America's 3rd Favorite Game Show host, The man with the teeth: Sonny Friendly!
Sonny Friendly: Thank you. Thank you. And are we having a nice day, or what?
— The opening to The Crying Game Show.
Bob: Granny Bird, You are here!
Granny Bird: Well, I went to another flight.
Bob: This is going to make Big Bird happy. (To Big Bird) BIG BIRD, COME OUT!
Big Bird: Who is it?
Bob: It's Granny Bird!
Big Bird: (Angrily) NO! I AM STILL ANGRY AT HER! (Throws another temper tantrum)
Granny Bird: Is still mad at me?
Bob: Yes, I am afraid so! Big Bird was so sad that you wouldn't come. Then he became mad that he wouldn't come at all!
Granny Bird: Well, There is only one thing to do! (She exits)
Big Bird: Granny Bird, I got all my anger out! Granny Bird?
Bob: Big Bird, She was there!
Big Bird: Where is she?
Bob: Well, She left!
Big Bird: (In disappointment) SHE DID?!? (gets more upset)
Bob: What am I going to do!
—From the episode where Granny Bird visits.
Announcer: We interrupt our alphabet to bring you a special news bulletin.
Letter X: Ladies and Gentlemen, The letter X will NOT be seen on it's usual role in Today's alphabet. Or in tomorrow's alphabet, OR IN ANY ALPHABET ANYWHERE, EVER AGAIN! BECAUSE I QUIT!!! [Screams in a panic attack]
Announcer: We now return to to your regular schedule alphabet.
—From the episode during the Playground kids alphabet film after it went on W, It triggers to this and then continues by skipping the X part.
Grover: Charlie? Do you have any beef stroganoff?
Grover: Oh, I am sorry, Sir. But Charlie said NYET! That means NO! in Russian.
—From the 1996 Sesame Street Grover the Waiter skit where Mr. Johnson goes to Charlie's Russian restaurant.
Gordon: No, Letter X. Just look at the word: Tuxedo.
Letter X: Wow, I am in that word?
Gordon: Why yes! You see may not be at the beginning of very many words, But you are in a lot of words that would be nothing without you.
— As they break in to a song about the letter X.
Cookie Monster: But Ernie, What's really different is You know how much me love cookies? Well, Me baby cousin won't touch it.
Ernie: Oh, I see. Well, Maybe she doesn't like cookies. Perhaps, Maybe you have to feed her something else.
— In the sketch where Ernie explains the same and different between Cookie Monster and his baby cousin.
Bert: Ernie? All this water talking makes me thirsty. Do you mind if I have a glass of water?
Ernie: Why sure, Bert! Help yourself!
*Bert drinks a glass of water*
Bert: Thanks, Ernie!
Ernie: You're welcome, Bert. And there more water where that came from.
Bert: What do you mean "More Water"?
Ernie: Well, You see the kitchen faucet? Well, It's broken, Bert! I had to carry all the water out before the whole apartment floods, Bert.
Bert: OH NO! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER, ERNIE?!? OH NO!
*The apartment floods*
—From the Ernie and Bert sketch where Ernie carries the glass of water.
Radio Announcer: And now for the weather update, Heavy rain is inspected to last through the evening and throughout the entire night. If possible, Please try to stay indoors. This is a very heavy storm. And now, Back to off!
Maria: (As she turns off the radio) Did you hear that? The Radio announcer said that the storm is going to last all night.
Luis: Yes, Big Bird. This means you going to have to sleep over here tonight. You can't go in to your nest and sleep in the rain.
Big Bird: You're right. But what about Tarah?
—From the episode where Tarah sleeps over at Luis and Maria's apartment.
Celina: (As she picks up the telephone) Hello? Oh, yes! This is Celina, How are you? (Shocked) What?!? Oh gosh, that's too bad. No! No! We will be okay! We can manage. And we will hope Spencer feels better soon. Okay, Bye! (Hangs up the telephone) Big Bird...
Big Bird: (Whines) Celina, MY DANCE IS NEXT!!! IT'S ABOUT THE NUMBER FOUR!
Ruthie: What's wrong, Big Bird?
Big Bird: (Impatiently) I CAN'T DO A FOUR BIRD DANCE WITH THREE BIRDS! WHERE IS SPENCER?!?
Celina: Well, Big Bird. I just got off the phone with Spencer's mother. And he's sick. He can't come.
Big Bird: (Shocked) SICK?!? OH NO....
Ruthie: Calm Down, Big Bird. There must be a way, Somehow..... How about me?
Big Bird: Who you? (Calmly) Well, I guess this settles than.
—From Dances from All Over The World Day.
Judge Count Von Count: (As he bangs his gavel) Penguins of the jury!
Telly Monster: Penguins of the jury?!?
Judge Count Von Count: Did you reach the verdict?
The Jury Penguins: YEAH?!?
Judge Count Von Count: Is Telly Monster Guilty or Not Guilty?
The Jury Penguin: GUILTY!
Judge Count Von Count: (To Telly Monster, Angrily) For hurting a penguin in a fit of anger, I, The judge of this court sentence you to 1 year in jail! No, 2 years in jail! No, 3, NO 4, No, 5, 5 years in jail! (He laughs with thunder and lightning as he bangs his gavel)
*We see Telly Monster behinds bars*
Telly Monster: I didn't mean it! I was just angry. I didn't mean it! I didn't!
—From the Season 24 episode of Sesame Street where Telly Monster's costume was stolen by the penguin.