Quotes: Sesame Street

"Everything happens here. You're gonna love it!"
Gordon Robinson (Matt Robinson), introducing the first episode

Maria: What did I win?
Sonny Friendly: Well, Tell here about it, Gene! Let her have the grand prize!
*Maria gasps when a big dump truck pours out a big pile of sand*
Announcer: Here it is, Maria. Something that rhymes with grand. Your very dump truck pile of sand. From the house sandy from the sand to the stars.
Maria: No, Wait. I don't want all that sand there. No! STOP! I don't want all that sand there.
Maria gets the pile sand as the grand prize on one of Sonny Friendly's traveling game show (as seen on episode 2641).

Announcer: We take you now to Kermit the Frog for another fast breaking news story!
Kermit the Frog: Oh, Hi-ho, This Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street news.....
—In the usual opening theme to Sesame Street NEWS with Kermit the Frog.

Pat Playjacks: Oooooh, I am very sorry, Prairie. You guessed 10 and there were only 5 pig squeals. In today's "Pig.." I mean "Squeal of Fortune" That's too bad.
Prarie Dawn: Oh Dear! I guess I did not win! I don't believe this!
—From the Squeal of Fortune skit after Prairie Dawn got buzzed because she guessed 10, But the pig only made 5 squeals.

Count Von Count: Did I say three?
Pat Playjacks: Yes you did. Three squeals, Count Von Count, YOU WON!
Prairie Dawn: WHAT?!? He Won?!? Oh no!
Pat Playjacks: And now it's time for you to pick the prizes inside the studio filled with fabulous prizes. And to show them to us is our co-hostess, Velma Blank. A fifteen gallon tank of finger painting. A hand crafted grapefruit goggle for that protection of that morning squirt. And a larger than life-size portrait of American's 2nd favorite game show host: Pat Playjacks!
—From the Squeal of Fortune skit after Count Von Count wins the game.

The Monster Cookie: KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF, PAL!
Cookie Monster: YIKES! Uh, Cookie talked!
The Monster Cookie: Me not cookie, Me monster!
Cookie Monster: Me too, Me Cookie Monster!
The Monster Cookie: Me, Monster Cookie1!
—From the 1992 Cookie Monster skit after eating the whole box of birthday cookies, He went into a nightmare on meeting the giant talking cookie named: The Monster Cookie.

An Eel: Pardon me, But is this "Eel of Fortune?"
Pat Plajacks: Uh, no! The Eel of Fortune is next door. This is "Squeal of Fortune". (To the viewers) So, tune in tomorrow for another episode of (Audience says along) "SQUEAL! OF! FORTUNE!"
—Used at the end of the Squeal of Fortune skit.

Director: Get ready for the alphabet chat for (whatever letter it is). Mr. Lord Chattery, Are you ready?
Lord Chattery: Well, I'm ready when you are.
Director: Alright, Alphabet Chat (whatever letter it is) Take 1 (Claps the clapboard). All right cue the theme song.
Chrous: (Sings the Alphabet Song in the style of Bach's Fugue 2) A-B-C-D-E, C-D-E-F-G, H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P, Q-R-S-T-U, R-S-T-U-V, S-T-U-V-X-Y and Z, That's my A-B-C!
—The opening phrase for Alphabet Chat!

Grover: The best to check your teeth is to see a tooth doctor!
Kermit the Frog: (With teeth) Uh, Grover. It's actually known as a dentist.
Dentist: Uh, yes. Open wide, please. (As Kermit opens his mouth, The dentist checks Kermit's false teeth) Uh, yes! Good healthy teeth.
Kermit the Frog: Why, thank you! But they are not my teeth.
Dentist: Sure, Pal!
—From the Grover's health minute lecture on teeth

Cookie Monster: (Woke up sadly) What a dream! Oh, Very sad! (He suddenly gets angered after he was about eat a cookie) OH! NO NO NO NO! Me never eat cookies again! No, from now on, Me eat carrots (As he does) OM! NOM! NOM! NOM! And fish (As he does) OM! NOM! NOM! NOM! And whole wheat bread! (As he does) OM! NOM! NOM! NOM! And no, no cookies! Sorry, Cookie. Me cannot eat you ever..... Say you talking, Cookie? Hmm, You crying, Cookie? Hmm, (Eats the cookie) OM! NOM! NOM! NOM! Well, maybe sometime a cookie!
—At the end of the 1992 skit after the Cookie Monster's nightmare on meeting The Monster Cookie!

Gordon: Hello, Sproutlets. I'm Gordon from Sesame Street. Every year, There are number of natural disasters that effect many people. Even if you are not directly effective, The Television coverage can be scary, Especially for young children. Back in 2001, We featured a week long story about a hurricane on Sesame Street. This story line allowed us to provide strategies and to help them to hope with their emotions while faces with a natural disaster. So watch with it your child, And talk about fears or concerns he, or she might have.
—On the PBS Kids Sprout broadcast of the 2001 Hurricane episode of Sesame Street. Which is shown after a big hurricane storm happened.

Announcer: We interrupt this program to bring you a word from your chicken. And now, Here is your local chicken, Zelda.
Gordon: Hey, Zelda? You're on!
Zelda: (Clucking)
Gordon: (Translating the clucks) For those of you who don't speak chicken, Zelda says she is mighty proud to be a chicken.
—From the late 80's sketch: A Word from Your Local Chicken.

Zelda: (Clucking)
Grodon: (Translating the clucks) So just remember, folks. Dogs bark, Cats meow, Ducks quack, And cows moo. But only a chicken can cluck.
Zelda: (Clucking Thank You)
Gordon: You're Welcome, Zelda!
Announcer: This announcement is provided by "The Proud to be a Chicken Association!"
—The ending of "A Word from your Local Chicken"

Big Bird: I cannot wait until he sees my drawing. Say, Where is he? I want to give this to him. (Mind struck his head) I know, He is at the store.
Bob: Uh, No, Big Bird. He is not there.
Big Bird: Then, Where is he?
Maria: Big Bird, Don't you remember we told you? Mr. Hooper died. I mean he is dead!
Big Bird: Oh, Yes! I remember that. Well, Maybe I'll wait until he comes back.
Susan: No, Big Bird. Mr. Hooper is NOT coming back!
Big Bird: And why not?
Susan: Well, Big Bird. When people die, they don't come back.
Big Bird: (Voice breaksdown) Not ever?!?
Susan: No never
Big Bird: But why not?!?
Luis: Well, Big Bird. If they are dead, they can't come back.
Big Bird: Well he SHOULD come back. I mean who is going to take over the store? And who is going to feed my birdseed milkshakes and tell me stories?!?
David: Big Bird, I am going to take care of the store. You know, Mr. Hooper left the store to me. I'll make you some Birdseed milkshakes. And we will tell you stories. And see if you are okay.
Olivia: We will look after you.
Big Bird: Well, It won't be the same.
Bob: You are right, Big Bird. It's not going to the same without him. But do you know something? (As he smiles sadly) Well, We can all be happy that we had our chance to be with him, And know him, and to love him a lot. When he was here.
Olivia: And we always have our memories with him.
Big Bird: Yeah, That's why I drew this picture for memory. So we can remember him so many times as we want to. But I don't like it, It's making me so sad!
David: We all feel sad, Big Bird.
Big Bird: You mean he is never coming back?
David: He never will.
Everybody: (Pauses for a moment)
Gordon: Big Bird, It has to be this way. Because.
Big Bird: Just Because?
Gordon: Just Because.
Big Bird: (As looks sadly at his drawing of Mr. Hooper) You know, I am going to miss you, Mr. Looper.
Maria: (As she smiles sadly) That's Hooper, Big Bird, Hooper.
Big Bird: You're right. (As everybody comforts Big Bird for the loss of his best friend)
—From the saddest moment of the episode: So long, Mr. Hooper. The episode was dedicated to the memory actor Will Lee (1908-1982).

Maria: (To the Two-Headed Monsters, who planned a violin lullaby for Irvine) Oh no no! You don't understand, guys! You see, She is not like a regular baby, She is a grouch baby. She has the tendency to scream and cry a lot.
—From episode #2402.

Maria: (As she complains to Oscar) I could not calm Irvine's tantrum down. I have tried stories, I have tried lullabies, I tried different things but she keeps doing the same thing. She keeps crying and crying, I can't stand it, anymore. I quit, I give up!
Oscar: Oh relax, sweetheart. There is only one way to calm a grouch baby down. (To Grugetta) Oh, Grugetta?
Grugetta: Yes, Oscar?
Oscar: Hey, I just had a rotten time with you, today!
Grugetta: Oh, yeah?!? Well, I had a worse time with you!!!
Oscar: I DID NOT!!!
Grugetta: YOU DID TOO!!!
Oscar: DID NOT!!!
Grugetta: DID TOO!
*Irvine finally calms down from her tantrum*
Oscar: You see, Grouch babies love to calm down to a sound of a good loud argument.
*Oscar and Grugetta continues arguing*
From the ending of episode #2402.

Gordon: How is she, Angela?
Angela: She is very uncomfortable. I am sorry, I would had tell her sooner.
Gordon: Just give her a kiss from us, And tell her I said hello.
Big Bird: Sounds like somebody has a problem. Maybe I can help. (To Susan and Gordon) Hey, What is wrong, you guys?
Susan: We have a big problem, Big Bird.
Big Bird: Well, Great!
Gordon: Great?
Big Bird: Well, I mean I can help with your problem.
Susan: I don't know if you can, Big Bird.
Big Bird: Well, can you explain it?
Gordon: Okay, Here is our problem. We were going to spend a sleep over at my cousin Angela's apartment while our apartment is being repainted. Miles is sleeping over at his friend's house and he is doing fine. But however, Angela just found out that her baby daughter has the chickenpox. So, now we need to find another place to sleep.
— From episode #3139.

Elmo: What do you mean Abby's other house?
Abby Cadabby: Well, This is my mother's house, and this is my father's house.
Rosita: But don't your parents live together? Why don't they?
Abby Cadabby: Well, My parents are divorced.
Rosita: Wait, What is a "Divorce"?!?
Gordon: A "Divorce" means that her parents are not married, Anymore.
Elmo: Why not?!?
Gordon: Well, They tried and tried. And they could not get along. It sometimes not working.
— From the "Little Kids, Big Challenge" episode.

Elmo: Elmo used to be scared, But Elmo isn't scared, anymore!
Bill Walsh: It's okay, Elmo.
— From episdoe #3981. The fire at Hooper's Store episode was dedicated to the memory to the citizens of Manhattan NY who died from The World Trade Centre destruction from the 9/11 terrorist attack.

Oscar: What do you mean you want to put the pieces together for? It's looks better this way. Like a busted Clarinet. Which is perfect!
Richard Stoltzman: (Chuckles) Yeah I know, Oscar. But you can't play a clarinet, Until you put the pieces together, (Holds up a clarinet that put together) That looks a lot like this one here.
Oscar: Well, Who cares if you play it. Personally, I like to see you drop it and break it. I love broken clarinets.
Telly Monster: Well, I care if he plays. So you go ahead and built it.
— From episode #2633. Richard Stoltzman, The clarinet player visits Sesame Street. In the scene where he told Oscar that playing the clarinet with just the pieces won't make a good sound.

Telly Monster: Hello, and welcome to the answer and question show: "Asssssssk Oscar!" And now, here is Oscar!
*Linda pops out of Oscar's trashcan*
Telly Monster: (To Linda) Oh, I know, I know. You are not Oscar, You are Linda. (To the viewers) You see, Oscar could not be here, today. But Linda asked if she can pretend to be Oscar the Grouch.
— From the "Ask Oscar" segment where Linda fills in for Oscar.

Oscar: Well, I love your work. I love how hate a movie.
Roger Ebert: Yeah, I bet you do. If we don't like a movie, We give it a thumbs down. We put our thumb upside down.
Telly Monster: Thumbs upside down?
Roger Ebert: Yes, Thumbs upside down.
Telly Monster: What do you suppose if you like a movie?
Gene Siskel: Well, If we like a movie, Then we give it a thumbs up. We put our thumbs right side up.
Telly Monster: Thumbs rightside up?
Gene Siskel: That's right, Rightside up.
— From the "Sneak Peak Previews" segment where Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel teaches Telly Monster and Oscar the Grouch how they do their "rating a movie" system.

Pierre the Waiter: Oh, Are you Guy Smiley? Welcome again to "Chet Nomie: Restaurant of the Semi Stars."
Guy Smiley: Thank You, Pierre, Thank You. I hope you have lots of chairs, Pierre. Because, Today. I Guy Smiley, America's favorite Game Show host is bringing my entire studio audience to lunch!
— From the insert where Guy Smiley brings his audience to lunch.

Guy Smiley: I'll think I'll go in and sit down.
Pierre the Waiter: Oh, no no no! You may not go in and sit down.
Guy Smiley: But, Why not?!?
Pierre the Waiter: Because, There is no chair for you. We have a table for 39, But we don't have a table for 40!
— At the end of the insert where Guy Smiley brings his audience to lunch.

Mr. Johnson: I'll will like to a.....
Grover: Sir, I am sorry to interrupt you but I would like to ask you please take a number. You see, When I call the number, Then you will be served. So please, take a number.
Mr. Johnson: But, I the only one in here.
Grover: I am sorry, Sir. But that's our policy. The sign says John's bakery, NOT Grover's bakery. I only work here. Please take a number.
Mr. Johnson: Okay, Okay, I'll take a number.
Grover: Over here, sir. Over here. This machine will give you a number. So, go ahead.
*Mr. Johnson pulls the lever of the number machine*
Grover: Very good, And what's your number?
Mr. Johnson: 40.
Grover: 40, and that is your number.
—From the Grover the Baker sketch.

Oscar: (Sighs) This is the greatest day of my life. This calls for a celebration: An anchovy sundae Ice-Cream!
Leela: Oh, Oscar. How could you eat at a time like this?
Oscar: You Know what, Oscar? You are a grouchy monster. That's who you are! You need to tell us the cure for Mine-itis!
Oscar: Oh, Yeah? And why do you want to do a silly thing like that?!?
Elmo: Because nobody on Sesame Street is sharing, That's why!!!
— Elmo and Leela are in rage with Oscar when Oscar refuses to tell them the cure for Mine-Itis.

Alistair Cookie: CUT! Me very sorry! But that wasn't Twelve Angry Men, That was Two Proud Pigs, A story about two pigs who are proud. And who should blame. Well, No time left for Twelve Angry Men So this Alistair Cookie saying......
Lavender AM Angry Man #1: NO TIME FOR US?!?
Alistair Cookie: Well, That's showbiz!
Alistair Cookie: Yeah! Well, there you have it, Twelve Angry Men. So this Alistair Cookie saying goodbye from Monsterpiece Theatre. (To the Angry men) Hey, chill out.
—At the end of the Twelve Angry Men segment from Monsterpiece Theatre.

Bert: (Sighs) This is great! Ernie is sleeping over at Count Von Count's castle tonight. So I have the place all by myself. For one thing, He is not going to wake me up. No surprises, Just piece and quiet. I'll settle into my blanket, And go to sleep.
—At the opening part of the song Bert's Blanket as Bert mentions to viewers that Ernie is having a sleepover at Count Von Count's castle. Before the sheep arrives at Ernie and Bert's apartment to sing a song with Bert how his blanket was made from the wool of the sheep.

Telly Monster: Why does she need that machine? She can watch TV.
Maria: Yeah, But you don't just watch TV, You listen to TV as well. But Linda can't hear it because she is deaf.
Telly Monster: Oh, That's not fun.
Maria: Not at all. But with this machine, She can read the words on the screen.
—Maria explains to Telly Monster about what Closed Caption is.

*As Maria holds a pretend Television with a message a sheet of paper which Telly reads and Maria moves her lips without making a voice8
Telly Monster: (As he reads the message) "Hello, Telly! How are you?
Maria: YES!
Telly Monster: Oh, That's what you were saying! I could not hear it, But I can read it.
Maria: That's right. And that is what this machine is going to do. It's going to make it possible for Linda to just read the words on the screen.
—As Maria demonstrates to Telly Monster how Closed Caption works.