Quotes / Self-Insert Fic

Sport: And let him have a son like me, who cooks for him. And let him be eleven years old like me, and let him have a mother who went away and has all the money, and let him grow up to be a ball player...
Harriet: Nooo! Then you're not making it up. Don't you understand?

An SI is a self-insert, yes. However if you write one right, by the end of the first chapter or so said SI would be, in fact, dead or dimensionally displaced and become an OC.

B is for Bridget
Who's named for the author
She could have been subtle
But just didn't bother
Yet somehow I doubt
That the writer's a D-cup
Or sings like an angel
With nary a hiccup
Or doesn't need glasses
Or looks like a hottie
Or ever will earn
Her black belt in karate

Kevin: Alright, my new bestest fictional friends...! Now we can go on all sorts of comical and vaguely homo-erotic adventures together!

— reading someone's romantic fantasy about their fictional character isn't fun. It makes me feel like a voyeur. This is one of the most blatant self-inserts I've seen for a while. I'd really rather not see it displayed in a public archive for my fandom.
— lol yeah well that goes without saying. I used to be a part of a fandom with a bnf that would write about herself, by her own name and everything, in a relationship with one of the characters. she'd also photoshop pictures of the two of them together. it was hilarious, but the porn made me major uncomfortable

Allow me to rant here: you should never base a character on yourself. It just sets you up for viewing the character as you, rather than as a tool with which to write a story, and then you become attached and don’t want to make anything bad happen to the character because that’s you, and you also don’t want to show the character’s bad side because you’d like to present yourself in the best light, and before you know it you’ve turned your character into a Sue.

Jesus. Just have sex with your fictional character already and put me out of my misery.

"The next thing you need to do is create your main character, and since it's important to write what you know, the main character will obviously be you, but while you are a repressed, socially retarded dullard who no one would ever honestly admit to liking, your author insertion character is a fantasy, so they will be a charismatic eccentric who is unconditionally loved by everyone, even while he's setting their dog on fire."

One Direction Goes One Direction
And That Direction Is Towards My Vagina
Ideal Cast: One Direction and ME!!!

Like, y'know like sometimes people write a fanfic and it's basically "Oh, hi, I am the author insert, see how I am better than all the established characters? Hell yeah, that is me."