Quotes / Selective Obliviousness

"I choose not to understand these signs!"
Bender, Futurama

"Still, a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest."
Simon & Garfunkel, "The Boxer"

"I reject your reality and substitute my own."
Paul Bradford, The Dungeonmaster (popularized by Adam Savage, Mythbusters), also attributed to talk radio host Michael Savage.

Sometimes, days are like this
And you don't agree with what you see...
Opinions Won't Keep You Warm At Night, a song by ''

Sarge: Come on you two, let's get a move on! Where's yer commanding officer?
Simmons: (pointing at Grif) He's right there.
Sarge: [Beat] Where, behind Grif?
Simmons: Sergeant Grif is our C.O., Sir.
Sarge: Your Sergeant has the same name as Grif? That's a disturbing coincidence.
Simmons: No no listen to me. Grif is our commander. He was promoted to Sergeant when you refused to relocate with us.
Sarge: But who's in charge!?
Simmons: Sergeant Grif!
Sarge: Okay, see, I can hear you saying words, but it's like they don't match up in a way that makes sense. Did ya have a stroke?
Simmons: Grif is a Sergeant. He's the same rank as you now.
Sarge: That's who I'm talkin' about. Where is he?
Simmons: He's right there!
Grif: Dude, I don't think he's physically capable of understanding what you're telling him.

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."
Upton Sinclair

Cartman: You guys can't scare me. I know you're making it all up.
Stan: Cartman, there's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass!
Cartman: Sure you guys, whatever!