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Quotes: Screwed by the Network

Fiction

"You know, the guys in prime-time could have had this show, but no! They had 'better ideas!'"

''"Once I beat you, your show will be cancelled faster than you can say 'created by Joss Whedon'"!

Peter Griffin: Everybody, I've got bad news. We've been canceled.
Lois Griffin: Oh no! Peter, How could they do that?
Peter: Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That '80s Show, Wonderfalls, Fast Lane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin, Girls Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda at Large, Costello, The Lone Gunmen, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddie, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric the Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, and Greg the Bunny.
Lois: Is there no hope?
Peter: Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes, we might have a shot.

Shin: Hey, mister. Do you know where I can hide and no one would find me?
TV Manager: 2 AM, Saturdays?
Shin: Thanks for being such a jerk!

"We had a lousy timeslot".
Raquel Westbrook, The LA Complex

Real Life

"Tom was getting big figures. Ratings fell, and when ratings fall in television, in spite of your [the fansí] love and enthusiasm, the executives get scared. Why did the ratings fall? It might have been because we went up against Coronation Street, the most popular soap in the world? It was a big drop, wasnít it? A 50% drop. It was considerable...Itís all to do with money. They took you for granted. They tended to use Doctor Who as a kind of training ship for novices to get their experience on. Thatís bad."
Anthony Ainley on Doctor Who

"If NBC had been trying to cancel us, they couldn't have done a better job."
John Lithgow on 3rd Rock from the Sun

"What does NBC stand for? Never Believe your Contract."
Jay Leno, said during both Tonight Show scandals.

"I had a show. Then I had a different show. Now I have a Twitter account."

"In a master stroke of UPN programming brilliance, Dilbert follows Shasta McNasty, a show geared toward viewers who are... how can I say this... very likely to die in bowling ball cleaning machine accidents. Fortunately, Shasta is a filthy and sophomoric show, so it will corner the market on perverts and unsupervised minors. It's a perfect lead-in audience for an animated Dilbert TV show. If you don't understand that, you will never be a television executive."

"Fox is like Whedon's secretly abusive boyfriend; no matter how many times Fox hurts him, cheats on him, beats him down, Whedon always believes Fox when they say it will be different this time."
xxBirdMadGirlxx on Fark.com

"As for [Glenn Greenberg's] belief that a Scarlet Spider book would have eventually failed, he is entitled to his opinion. I certainly believe that the powers-that-were at Marvel would have eventually cancelled the book even if it was selling...just like they cancelled Thunderstrike and War Machine even though both books were profitable. Since I had access to the actual sales during that period, I can attest to the fact that at the time it was cancelled Thunderstrike was actually selling more copies than both Thor and Avengers combined. Why were profitable titles like Thunderstrike, War Machines and all the 2099 books cancelled? The answer I was given was that the guy in charge of marketing had decided that these additional titles were hurting the core company franchises. He believed that the sales on Thor would go up as soon as Thunderstrike was cancelled, and Amazing Spider-man would increase with Spider-Man 2099 gone. Nice theory...but I still think it was nonsense."''
Editor Tom DeFalco on The Clone Saga

"I'm going to kill that fucking puppet show."
Bonnie Hammer, then-president of the Sci-Fi channel

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