"All I asked for was equality and independence. A rotating chairmanship might have been the answer."

Dey tell all you chillun
De debble's a villun,
But 'tain't necessarily so.

Ig: In a lot of ways, I guess Satan was the first superhero.
Glenna: Don't you mean supervillain?
Ig: Nah. Hero, for sure. Think about it. In his first adventure, he took the form of a snake to free two prisoners being held naked in a Third World jungle prison by an all-powerful megalomaniac. At the same time, he broadened their diet and introduced them to their own sexuality. Sounds like a cross between Animal Man and Dr. Phil to me.

Dan Marino: I can't stand retirement. Come on, just let me win one Superbowl.

Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're much too nice a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr Marino.

Marino: You did it for Namath!

Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.

Marino: This sucks. (storming off) I'll just go to the Superbowl as an announcer! And I'll win myself an Emmy!

Satan: That's the spirit!

Nicky: You're a good Devil, Dad.

Satan: And I also happen to be a Jets fan.

"I have nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have! I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him! Why? Because I never rejected him, in spite of all his imperfections, I am a fan of MAN!!! ...I am a humanist, maybe the last humanist."

"Satan is good. Satan is my pal. Satan is good, Satan is my pal"