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Quotes: Ron the Death Eater

Quotes in general

"Oh, why must we give these lighthearted creatures such terrible, dark backstories?"
CR, in his Let's Play of Story Of The Blanks

I AM THE RON FROM CANON. MY WONDERFULNESS SPEAKS FOR ITSELF: This form of Ron has all of the scruffily irresistible appeal of his canon counterpart and is aided by a few more years of life to add physical and emotional maturity.

THE TOUR GUIDES ARE UTTERLY UNINTERESTED IN ME: This Ron is considered much too normal and well-adjusted to play a significant part in their angst-ridden region. He will be amiably happy and dating/be married to Lavender Brown... In extreme forms of tour guideal disinterest, Ron will be dead.

THE TOUR GUIDES HATE ME: This Ron ranges from being a tactless oaf to an abusive, pointlessly jealous traitor. At meals his mouth will be stuffed full of food and his general manner will be unfailingly crude. Never mind Voldemort, this brute is the cause of all of your problems. His envy for Harry Potter may also inspire him to join the other side and slaughter all of the other less offensive Weasleys. This not only introduces a heartrending betrayal, but has the double effect of both ending his proximity to the other Potterians and providing a new villain for those tour guides who want a Good Draco.
The Sugar Quill on three possible Rons

Ron in fanfiction

"Ok, Ron is acting really dumb... but it’s my story. Ron is my least fave character and I make him how I want him to be dumb cuz he is. Sorry for the inconvenience."

"[Ron] apparently was promised Hermione as a reward for his manipulation of myself over the years, by none other that Dumbledore, in cahoots with Molly. They were going to dose me and Hermione, set me up to be killed in the battle with Tom, and take my estates to be divided up between their little coalition.. Ron was to get Puddlemere as a present, Ginny and Molly the Potter name and money.. this is something I will not forgive."
Harry Potter, Bring To Order

It was seventh year, after the defeat of Voldemort. Everyone had come back and things were normal again except Ron was dead but no one really care about that.

"I did what Dumbledore asked, I befriended Harry Potter. Too bad he was so stuck up that he couldn’t let somebody else also have money. You will never get anybody. I can guarantee that. Hermione will realize this one day and come to me crying. I will gladly help her through her heart ache just to see the almighty Harry Potter lose something. I can not wait to see you in court because I will tell the court for what you truly are, a lying, backstabbing, two timing, stuck up prick."

"He now understood discovering Hermione that fateful morning after the battle, crying outside the castle was the pivotal event that changed his life, at the time he wanted nothing more than to go and rip the lungs out of the prat responsible for his best friend being out here. She begged him not to but if he'd seen the bruises before they got on that plane to Australia, no force on this Earth could have kept him from extracting revenge on Ronald Fucking Weasl"ey.
Harry Potter, In This World and the Next

"She had pushed Ron -– gently, as always -– for a newer, bigger apartment, but Ron simply roared at her, calling her a stuck-up pig with her fancy airs while he slaved day and night at the Auror office, and that by God, she would be satisfied with what she had. She had bit her tongue and said no more that day, but she knew that with an Auror's salary they could afford an apartment ten times bigger, if Ron didn't drink and whore it away."
Hermione Granger, The Last War

"Hermione had never been so angry, walking towards them was the unmistakeable figure of Ron Weasley, but it was the two partially clothed, collar wearing teenage girls who he was pulling along behind him that had her temper at previous unrecorded levels...The sneer on his face was pure evil and the authority contained in his voiced command brokered no argument, 'I'm evoking pureblood law so you mudblood can get down on your knees and attend to my needs now, the half blood can have the pleasure of watching.'"
Ron Weasley, More Important Things

Ron entered their bedroom to find his pregnant wife dead on the floor. He said to no one.

"Stupid bitch. Who's going to watch the kids now?"
Ron Weasley, Paybacks are a Witch

No one gets out alive (Other characters in fanfiction)

"Want some smack? (beat) How 'bout a whore? (beat) Feel like gambling? I played craps against Harry yesterday; he won, so I let him keep his hands."
Cap. Kathryn Janeway* in SFDebris's review of "Dark Frontier"

Chief Yagami: I remember Mikami. We go way back. We were roommates back at Penn State! ...Anyway this guy was totally awesome! This one time we were out with a bunch of drug-filled prostitutes and we shined so many shoes I got a nickel.
Narrator: But... what?! You were trained to be a policeman! How did—What?!
Chief Yagami: You're point? And don't you interrupt me, mister or I'll smack you in the mouth so hard that even Mikami's mom will feel it!
"GRRRRR I WILL GET YOU NEXT TIME MRA MISOGYNISTS!!!" said Elsa whorily and devilly like a constipated guano eating pedophile turtle."

Hermione: Harry, I hate to break it to you, but being gay is just wrong!
"Harry glared at the two figures blocking his path. His once best friends. ...He definitely shouldn't have gone out of his mentor's office alone. That's what he got, he supposed, for wanting some alone time to think. As it was, he spent a few seconds cursing his fate while Hermione and Ron exchanged malicious smirks.

'Well, well. If it isn't the experiment.' sneered Hermione, cold brown eyes lighting with insane glee as she brandished her wand."

Vernon: Boy! I'm trying to come up with some new ways that I could make your life even more miserable than it already is, but I'm having a hard time with it. What do you think?
Harry: I don't know, Uncle Vernon. I mean, you're already allowing me only the barest minimal necessities for keeping me alive. You're also beating me on a four times a day basis, five times on Saturday since it's your day off, plus the beatings that Dudley and his friends give me whenever they feel like it. Also, I've never been allowed to properly tend to any of the wounds I've received from those beatings, so my body's probably heavily infected in multiple places right now. You killed my owl and then forced me to cook her for your supper, and then beat me because she was too salty. I could honestly die any day now of starvation, dehydration, overexertion, or a combination of all three. The jury's still out on whether or not I've contracted cancer from that toxic waste you dumped on me the other day, and let's not forget that I'm also mentally scarred, not just from all the verbal abuse I take from you three, but also from seeing my godfather, the last remaining family I have that cared about me even the slightest bit, killed right in front of me not so long ago. I can honestly say that my life sucks about as hard as is metaphorically possible already and, off the top of my head, can't think of a single way that you could make it worse short of murdering the rest of my friends in front of me.
Vernon: Well, what if I were to violate you sexually?

"He'd never quite completed that phrase out in public. People always imagined the tag line 'for the greater good of the world', or 'society in general', but every time he spoke it he completed it in the privacy of his own mind the way he actually meant it, 'for the greater good of Albus Dumbledore.'
It really was only fair. To his mind, the rest of wizard-kind were nothing more than bugs, deserving of pity perhaps, for not being as magnificent as he, but certainly no empathy.


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