"People have asked me if I hold to a unifying theory that informs my writing on cinema. In the past I've told them that I simply judge a movie on its success or failure in representing the perceived point of view of the filmmaker, but now I realize that I was just saying something to get rid of them. What I really believe is that a film should be judged on how well it comes off when compared with the Patrick Swayze film Road House. For Road House is the single finest American film."
"Everyone walked out of Road House into the sunlight feeling stunned, stupid, a little gay for Patrick Swayze, and wondering idly why they ever thought Duran Duran was a good band. In one day, the 80s were over. Women's hairdos started to make sense once again. Spandex was abolished. The New Kids and Wham! were purged from our cultural memory."
"What makes Road House such a great movie? The answer is easy: It's quite simply the most implausible film ever made. This is a movie that expects you to believe a man can be famous the world over for being a bouncer. This is a movie that wants you to believe a small-town crime lord can afford a Bigfoot 4x4 monster truck, and that he will actually use it to intimidate local businesses. This is a movie that wants you to believe it's possible to rip a man's throat out with your bare hands. Compared to Road House, Star Wars is a documentary."