Quotes / Retirony

"This is supposed to be my last night of work, not my last night on the planet Earth!"
Josie, Air Panic

And Frankie kicked a mine the day that mankind kicked the moon
God help him, he was going home in June.
Redgum, "I Was Only Ninteen"

Lien: I can't belive you survived as their prisoner for so long!
O-chul: I'll be honest, I did not actually expect to live through this.
Elan: Don't say that! Whenever someone says that right after surviving something dangerous, something totally random pops out and kills them!
Everyone looks around. When nothing happens:
Elan: Well, most of the time, at least. Just don't announce that you're going to retire tomorrow, okay?

Darth Maul: And to think... I was gonna retire after this case...

"Damn! And I was only one day from retirement!"
McBain's partner, The Simpsons

URL: Poor Smitty. He was two weeks from retirement.
Fry: What happened to him?
URL: He took an early retirement. Damn.

"Darn! Just one more page and I would've finished this book."
The Man with No Name, The Town With No Name

Adam Jensen: Hopefully that's the last time us detectives have to deal with paramilitary goons.
Garrus Vakarian: ...Right, also, we're just a few days away from retirement. What could possibly go wrong?

"Only one more trip," said a gallant seaman,
As he kissed his weeping wife,
Only one more bag of the golden treasure
And 'twill last us all through life.
Then I'll spend my days in my cosy cottage
And enjoy the rest I've earned;
But alas! poor man! For he sail'd commander
Of the ship that never returned.
Henry Clay Work, The Ship That Never Returned

"Hang on one second, I just got a great idea for a movie about a guy, who's about to retire, and he's a cop. He's gonna spend time with his boat, and it's called Lethal Weapon, shit. G-ddamn it, I always do that. I always pitch myself movies that already exist."
Will Arnett, Netflix Live (April Fool's Day joke)