Quotes / Recruiting the Criminal

"Sometimes, bad guys... make the best good guys."

Von Lipwig: I've robbed banks!
Vetinari: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside.

Excuse me, Captain, but did I just hear you ask the bosun to find you fifteen smugglers to man our customs flights?
— Major Isvarian, On Basilisk Station

Michael Newman: So, first I'm arrested, right? Best LSD I ever made right down the drain. I figure this is it, man, twenty years in the can if I'm lucky. That was 1968... Next thing I know, I'm on Rikers Island. You ever been there, man? Well, suddenly they take me from my cell, okay, they throw me in a waiting room with, like, bank teller windows: four army colonels with medals up their asses are standing on the other side. They say to me, if I come to Vietnam for two years - no action, mind you, just work in a lab - they'll drop all the charges and wipe the record clean. I'd only been in jail for like thirteen hours, I thought 'Nam couldn't be any worse.
Michael Newman: Yeah, really. But they had me by the balls. Next thing I know, I'm in Saigon, and I'm working in a top-secret lab, isolating mind-altering drugs...

Scott Lang: My days of breaking into places and stealing shit are done. What do you want me to do?
Hank Pym: I want you to break into a place and steal some shit.