Quotes / Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Simmons: (referring to Grey's rescue of Alex and Rick) C'mon, I saw that one of the officers was female, and a cute one at that—I know you, Grey.
Grey: Her?! Please, she's way too uptight. I don't have time for girls like that.
Simmons: What, you think you even stand a chance?
Grey: Give me a break. She may have an attitude, but if I wanted her, I could have her by the end of the night.
Alex: Hm, I'll take that bet.
Terra #130

"But wait, I thought Madonna thinks that she’s the black Madonna, which is why she thinks it’s cool to throw around #disnigga...Never mind that the only button Madge has been pushing lately is the one marked “eye roll inducer,” she’s kind of right about Kanye and her being cut from the same cloth. I mean, both of them live in an out-of-touch fart bubble of delusion and their heads are currently taking up permanent residency up their asses. So yeah, they’re kind of the same. But Kanye isn’t going to like being called the black Madonna. To Kanye, Kanye isn’t the black Madonna. Madonna is the white Kanye, just like Jesus is the Jewish Kanye and the Sun is the star Kanye and the moon is the satellite Kanye and God is the cloud Kanye!!"
Michael K., "Kanye West Is The Black Madonna, So Says Madonna"

Mercer: Holy shit, guys! I think we killed them all!
(squadron of Nazi vampires starts to rise in the distance)
Mercenary: Hey, Mercer... try not to choke on your fucking foot.
Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Episode 6, after Zorin's zeppelin crashes into the ground and explodes