Joey: Hey Yugi, how come everything looks different in this episode?
Yugi: Actually Joey, this is a movie based on Yu-Gi-Oh! Season 0.
Joey: There was a Season 0? How come I never knew about it?
Yugi: It only aired in Japan because it was super violent and depressingly bad.
Pit: Hey man! Haven't seen you in a while. Now we just need to get Simon-
Mega Man: Ssh! Don't bring that up!
Pit: Bring up what-icus?
Mega Man: AARGH
"You birds have a hundred thousand bad drawings in you; start getting rid of them now."
— Chuck Jones, quoting one of his art school instructors.
"If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that special and smash it."
"I know it's an artistic cliche, but every time I look at my past work, I want to projectile vomit."
"I'll tell you the last time I really cried was at the premiere of 'Batman & Robin.' They were real tears because I realized that that might be the end of my career and I might have brought down the franchise along with it."
"There's not enough money in the world to get me singing 'Because We Want To' again."
"[M]aybe one of the worst films in the entire solar system, including alien productions we've never seen."
"If I could go back in time to change stuff? Oh yeah, there's a few movies I would not have done."
—Thomas Howell, during an interview regarding his role as Zoom in Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
"Not since the British raided Cologne had so many bombs landed in such a small space in such a short time."
—Rod Serling, on his early writing career.
Jonathan Ross: Alright, we've established - John can act. John can push a dog in a pram. He's got his own not-particularly-well-crafted action figure. He can sing, and so on and so forth. But can he choose the right movies to be in?
John Barrowman: ... Oh, SHIT.
— Friday Night with Jonathan Ross
"I wrote the episode, or at least the teleplay... Out of a hundred and some episodes, you're gonna have some stinkers! Unfortunately, that was a royal, steaming stinker... It was not my shining moment."
— Brannon Braga, regarding "Threshold," from the Star Trek: Voyager season 2 DVD.
"[I]n reflecting on the entire two months of Scarlet Spider books, I'm reminded of a scene from another movie: This Is Spinal Tap... For their album Shark Sandwich, DiBergi says, "The entire review consists of only two words: 'Shit sandwich.'" Well, that pretty sums up my opinion of the Scarlet Spider books, and I could end right here feeling that I'd told you everything you needed to know about them."
— Editor/Writer Glenn Greenberg on The Clone Saga
"I don't understand why [my M.U.G.E.N website] still hasn't died even now. They mock me by denying me access to it (I never figured out why, and I don't really care anymore), and then not getting rid of it even after all these years. Ugh, I wish this relic of my past would fucking die in a fire already..."
— BB Hood (not that one), a MUGEN creator.
"This cartoon is pretty old. It was the first cartoon we ever made. Homestar is not very funny and neither is Strong Bad. They are mere shadows of the men they have become. This cartoon has not been on the site for many months, but we have had several requests (from our Dad) to put it back. So here it is. Consider yourselves warned."
Marshmallow's Last Stand's "FBI Warning".
"A number of wiser and better writers than me tell me that it is universal among writers to be embarrassed by anything they've ever written, but I never really believed it until now. The first chapter of this story is terrible. It is shamefully bad. I can't imagine how any of you managed to stand it. I got three pages in and closed the lid of my laptop by reflex as a defence mechanism to get the horror away."
Sir Poley, author of Harry Potter and the Natural 20.
Kirsty Young: And can you remember any of the lyrics from any of the songs?
Ricky Gervais: ... Um...
Kirsty: I just saw what flashed through your eyes then; you can, but you're not sure you want to say them.
Ricky: That's exactly right.
Kirsty: Go on then.
Ricky: No! No, you were right; I can, but I'm not going to say them.
Kirsty: Why not?
Ricky: Because it makes me want to crawl into a dustbin.
— Discussing Ricky's old band on Desert Island Discs.
Emma Thompson: The truth is, I have misled the public about my past.
Ellen DeGeneres: So you did a little soft porn.
Emma: No, it's not just that.
— Ellen (the talk show).
"I actually worked on this movie for a bit. It was one of my first jobs in the industry and let me tell you, if you think it was a train wreck viewing, you should have seen how terrible it was to work on it. The sad truth is there were plenty of talented people working there. many of those people moved on to major studios in both film, TV and games. The bottom line is the director, Larry Kasanoff is a talent-less, classless scumbag that should be banned from Hollywood until the end of time. All of the inappropriate innuendos are a direct product of his "creative hand". I cannot tell you how many times this moron derailed production with his brainless input. It literally has cost the studio millions of dollars. They eventually stepped in and removed him from the project. Unfortunately, that was a decade and millions of dollars late. I am so ashamed of this movie that I have completely left working there off of my resume. On behalf of the many artists that have had the dubious distinction of working on this dumpster fire, I apologize to all of humanity for our part in this."
— Vader Hater, an anonymous animator who worked on Food Fight.
"Sometimes, you have to take a nasty shit before you take a better shit."
"And then there’s Paul McGann, about whom… Look, however good he may be on the audios, he’s on autopilot here. Curiously, he’s much livelier in the audition tapes included as a DVD extra, where he’s delivering lines out of the (mercifully) abandoned Leekley version. This is almost understandable - for all the horrific flaws of the Leekley version, it at least offered McGann a story arc instead of leaving him an essentially reactive character... In any case, McGann has little to work with and seems at times to be rooting against the project just so he can move on to something that isn’t misery-inducing. His reluctance, initially, to come back to do the Big Finish material is utterly understandable."
Shatner ends the documentary admitting he’s great at denial. Well, yeah, otherwise this film would have given him cause to go back to El Capitan and throw himself off the top.
"The Xindi, by the way, is played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan who—among many other roles— played The Comedian in Watchmen; and who last year, in an amusing Entertainment Weekly interview entitled, "Oh, That Role"? Well, this one was there not only as one he'd like to forget about, but that the experience of doing it was so terrible, he nearly quit acting because of it. Enterprise: Sapping both the audience and the performers of their will to live!"
Unfortunately, there isn't much of a story behind why the world was never treated to Super Mario Bros. 2: The Sequel, other than the simple fact that the original film is so baneful, voodoo shamans wear it around their necks to intercept curses... Bob Hoskins hates it with every fiber of his being, John Leguizamo devoted an entire chapter of his autobiography to the movie's unbridled shititude, and Dennis Hopper literally called it a nightmare. Considering some of the peyote-laced night terrors that must've boiled behind that man's resting eyelids, this is arguably the strongest criticism that could possibly be leveled at a Mario Bros. movie.
"This special has never re-aired and to this day George Lucas has apparently gone out of his way to make sure that nobody sees it. So, just to recap, this is the guy who said this [Jar-Jar Binks] is OK, and this [Howard the Duck] is OK. Which means this is the project he was personally ashamed of."