Quotes: Oblivious to Love

Of all the hopeless objects on which I might target my sincerest feelings, I had to pick him! I may as well ordain as a nun. Nuns are supposed to be wed to Christ, or God, or some such, aren't they? That's more than I'm ever likely to experience.

Oh my God, do you need landing lights to the bed? She wants to sleep with you! That's the thing she does every other stinkin' time you're over, you fucking idiot!
The Nostalgia Critic, The Room review

Men just aren't smart to recognize when they're being hit on. We're kind of dumb that way. If a woman's not interested, that's the one we go for, but if a woman is interested, we're blindly naive to it for some reason. If a female boss is hitting on a male worker, he's not gonna catch onto it any time soon.
The Nostalgia Critic, regarding a commercial in which a male boss hits on a female worker and ponders the reason why the reverse case is never addressed.

BLU Spy: Take you... where?
Cuanta Vida bonus comic

If you can't tell who it is who loves you,
I can't open your eyes.
Gileah Taylor, "If You Can't Tell"

Elwyen: "I know a game we can play"
Mardek: "Ooh ooh, is it 'Jump Repeatedly Over the Rather Large Toadstool for Hours'?? I used to play that a lot when I was a kid!"
Elwyen: "No, it's called Twister. It could bring us very...close..."
Mardek: "...Isn't Twister one of Gloria's spells? That tornado one?"
MARDEK RPG, Chapter 3

Tails: You're so beautiful.
Cosmo: Yes, the stars ARE beautiful!
Sonic X

Akane: I wonder if it's obvious to him that I have a total crush on him and that I want him all up inside me and to ride me like a wild rodeo cowboy?
Natsuru: (vacant expression, sound of wind blowing)
Akane: Nah, I think I'm safe.

"What the hell am I doing...? In this dumb place... risking my life so cheaply. Is it for her (Casca)? No, probably not..."
Guts, Berserk

"I'm well known for knowing nothing of such things, or getting them very slightly but extremely obviously wrong. It saves all sorts of complications."
The Doctor, Doctor Who New Adventures: Death and Diplomacy

"What does a woman need to do, Harry? Rip her clothes off, throw herself on top of you, and shimmy while screaming, 'Do me, baby!'?"
Thomas, The Dresden Files

Kim: She used to like you! You mean you never noticed?
Ron: NO! Why didn't you tell me!?

This is what I love about Twilight. Everyone in town could have a crush on her, and she wouldn't notice.
Bobtehnoob, fimfiction.net, commenting on Damn it Twilight, I Love You a.k.a. This Trope: The Fanfic

"You want me? To do what?"

I’ll tell you something, it ain’t no mystery how your new best friend looks in your eyes
Cause, that girl’s in love with you
That girl’s in love with you
I know that you’re too blind to see
I know that it’s so plain to see
That girl’s in love with you
So madly
That Girl, The Noisettes

Touma: My parents. I see them and they're happy. I like to think they're happy because they have each other. If there was something I'd like it would be to meet someone like that. Someone to share my life with. Someone who wouldn't mind sharing my unfortunate life. A nice girl to share my life with? Like this unfortunate Kamijou would be so lucky.
Index gave the boy a warm smile but her eyes started to tear up, showing the heartbreaking pain she felt but tried to hide. This boy would give up everything to save a stranger and had tons of girls fawning over him but he didn't see it, he didn't understand how much he was loved. The only thing he'd ask for was someone to hold his hand but he didn't believe he'd ever get that.

Tomoyo: I love you, Sakura-chan.
Sakura: I love you too.
Tomoyo: (Talking to herself) But Sakura-chan's meaning is different. When she says that she loves me...
Sakura: What is it?
Tomoyo: I'll tell you when you're older.
Tomoyo confessing her love to Sakura in Card Captor Sakura

Aila: You forgot this. (hands Reiji his Beginning Gundam)
Reiji: What?! Why are you here?
Aila: Because I made a wish.
Reiji: What wish? (Aila gets flustered)
Aila: Don't you get it?! You're so slow-witted!
Reiji: (startled by Aila's change in emotion) Why are you so mad?
Aila: Re... Re... REIJI, YOU IDIOT!!!
Reiji finding out that Aila came with him to Arian, Gundam Build Fighters

She goes upstairs after dinner and takes a shower (she had probably smelled totally rank when Souji had asked her out, and she laughs at the thought) and relishes for a while in the warm water. She gets in her fluffiest pajamas and lays down on her futon, and she's smiling as she drifts off. Tomorrow's just another day, with stupid old Yosuke and Yukiko being pretty, as always, and Kanji and Naoto still not realizing that they like each other, and Souji, my boyfriend
Wide awake, she bolts straight up in her bed, and breathes into the darkness, "Holy shit, I've got a boyfriend."

Junpei: C'mon, it's not like there's anyone here you need to impress.
June: Yes, there is.
Junpei: Who?
(June is silent)
Junpei: What? Why are you so quiet all of a sudden?
June: Ugh! Forget it, Jumpy!

Kagura: "Don't worry about it! More importantly, babe... Step out for some tea with me. My throat's sore from all this talking. The tea they serve here is quite good. C'mon, have some with me."
Noel: "I've had it a bunch of times! The tea they serve here IS really good, huh? Is it okay if I invite Makoto, too?"
Kagura: *frowns* "Huh?... Oh, uhhh, sure. Go ahead. I guess we can be alone next time."
Blazblue: Chronophantasma

Anna: I don't even know what love is.
Olaf: That's okay, I do. Love is... putting someone else's needs before yours, like, you know, how Kristoff brought you back here to Hans and left you forever.
Anna: Kristoff... loves me?
Olaf: Wow, you really don't know anything about love, do you?

I feel like Pyrrha could be lying naked in a bed of rose petals and Jaune would be like “Shit, do you need to borrow a t-shirt?”
— Blogger cerayneigh

Kaoruko: Good morning, Sekai.
Sekai: Oh, the girl from...
Kaoruko: I made lunch for you. Help yourself.
Sekai: Really? For me? thanks!
Kaoruko: Bye... (runs off giggling)
Sekai: Yeah, thanks. Yes! Now I have two bento boxes! I can eat one before lunch break.
Yuuma: Sekai, do you understand what this means?
Sekai: Lunch is lunch. What more meaning is there? (Mirai, Fumina and Yuuma sigh in unison)
Fumina: So, you really don't get it...
Mirai: That's my brother...
Sekai not getting why Kaoruko Sazaki made a bento box for him, Gundam Build Fighters Try

Tali: She got you turian chocolate?
Garrus: She said she saw it and thought of me... why?
Tali: (snickers) Oh, nothing...

Tony: You're in love with him.
Jeanne: If you think his photos are brilliant, you should see him work. He can't see, but he still sees more than most people.
[on the other side of the interrogation window]
Jackson: For a man who can see more than most people, I managed to miss the thing that counts the most.
NCIS, "In the Dark"

Leliana: But now it's getting late. I think I might... turn in early. I can't help thinking about how soft and warm my bedroll is.
Warden: You don't want to talk to me anymore?
Leliana: Of course I do. You know I enjoy your company. But... it's getting a little chilly, and I prefer to be in my bedroll.
Warden: Well, I shan't keep you.
Leliana: You know, it'd be nice if you came with me.
Warden: What for?
Leliana: So I can show you my collection of pressed flowers... obviously.
Warden: I didn't know you collected pressed flowers.
Leliana: I... don't. Stop pretending you don't know what I want!
Warden: I have no idea what's going on.
Leliana: Ah, the games you play. Listen, I want to spend the night with you. There. I said it.

Miles Luna, when asked what he'd say if he could ever talk to Jaune Arc

"Oh, don't tell me you don't know at all...I know she likes you very much."
Hikari to a clueless Shinji about Asuka, The Child of Love, chapter 2

Woman: I like your glasses
Moss: I'm afraid they're not for sale.
Woman: Ha ha.
Moss: Laugh all you want, they're not for sale.
—a random woman attempting to flirt with a clueless Moss, The It Crowd