Quotes: Not Me This Time

"Fool! You have disrupted that order! For, are you ready for this, I have committed no recent crime!"
Ice King, Adventure Time, "What Have You Done?", responding to Finn asking why it was wrong to lock him up this time.

Zim: "WHAT!? Something's broken and it's not your fault!?"
GIR: "I know. I'm scared, too."
Invader ZIM, "Planet Jackers"

Carmelita: You crooks are so predictable: you always return to the scene of the crime.
Sly: Crime? I haven't stolen anything...yet.

The Master: I know you'll find this hard to believe, but for once I mean you no harm.
Doctor Who: The Five Doctors

Don't get me wrong, I love what you've done with the place. But I couldn't possibly take responsibility. I'm reformed. Remember?
Discord, though he sort of was...

Alucard: Okay. First of all, I was minding my own busi-
Integra: BULLSHIT!
Alucard: I was!