Quotes / Not Me This Time

"Fool! You have disrupted that order! For, are you ready for this, I have committed no recent crime!"
Ice King responding to Finn asking why it was wrong to lock him up this time, Adventure Time, "What Have You Done?"

Batman: So that's Protocol 10. Poison Gotham. I expected more.
Joker: Protocol 10?! [dramatic gasp] ...Never heard of it.

Zim: WHAT!? Something's broken and it's not your fault!?
GIR: I know. I'm scared, too.
Invader ZIM, "Planet Jackers"

Carmelita: You crooks are so predictable: you always return to the scene of the crime.
Sly: Crime? I haven't stolen anything... yet.

"I know you'll find this hard to believe, but for once I mean you no harm."
The Master, Doctor Who: The Five Doctors

"Don't get me wrong, I love what you've done with the place. But I couldn't possibly take responsibility. I'm reformed. Remember?"
Discord, though he sort of was..., My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Alucard: Okay. First of all, I was minding my own busi-
Integra: BULLSHIT!
Alucard: I waaaas!

Ike: The Black Knight tried to take the medallion from my father, and killed him. Tell me, Sephiran, whose plan was that?! Ashnard's... or yours?!
Sephiran: Sir Ike, I'm afraid your father's death was an unfortunate result of Zelgius's own personal agenda. I did not order Sir Gawain killed.

And you know you've passed through a wormhole when film censorship comes up in proximity with Nazis and they had nothing to do with it. It's kind of like finding Lex Luthor sipping margaritas while someone's shooting the Pacific Ocean with a freeze ray: it's hard to believe that he has nothing to do with it, but he's as confused as anyone here.
SF Debris, on the making of Metropolis

Do you look for our hand in this? I am sorry, no. We were not instigators, simply... a market.
—A discussion of The Children's Crusade, Vampire: The Masquerade - Clanbook: Followers of Set (revised)
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Quotes/NotMeThisTime