Quotes / Noodle Incident

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    Anime and Manga 

Kojiro: When was the longest time that she stayed away?
Kirino: That's got to be that one time! That one time!
Kojiro: Oh, that time!

Sakaki: This could be just the thing I need to test my skills! I've never fought a zombie before.
Elder: I have.

Kirikou: Well, you know! We came from "talking" to that giant with our fists.
Ox Ford: In the end, everybody was completely nude around the campfire.

    Comic Books 

Lana Lang: I don't want to pry, Linda, but... Where did you go?
Supergirl: What?
Lana: Well, you were gone for six weeks. I was worried when we didn't hear from you after all... of everything, so I just was wondering—
Supergirl: Lana, it... it doesn't matter. Can we change the subject, please?

Hellboy: Remember the secret room at Castle Glamis?
Pauline Raskin: That's why you go first.
Hellboy: Every dirty job...
Hellboy: Dr. Carp's Experiment

     Fan Works 

Rupert Giles said, “Buffy, I believe that’s enough. I would really rather you didn’t get into further details, if you please.”
Buffy shot him a look. “Should I tell her about Jenny Calendar?”
“No, absolutely not.”
Supergirl looked from Buffy to Rupert and back again. She had a feeling that, even though she’d seen more than either of these two would in a lifetime, there was something she’d missed. Like lifting up a board in an empty lot and seeing the beetles, grubs, and worms burrowing about. Something from which she’d possibly been shielded before. She had better sense than to ask about Jenny Calendar.

Warren: Funny, it almost sounded like he doesn't trust us.
Hank: Indeed. It did sound that way.
Scott: I wonder why? Could it be the Hong Kong drug lord we managed to get on the wrong side of the last time he took us out of the country?
Warren: Spend one night treed by a tiger, and you never forgive us. You could have just blasted it.
Scott: I could have saved myself a lot of trouble and just blasted you and Hank.
Jean: Now, I'm sure I don't want to know.

    Film - Live-Action 

Natasha Romanoff: (shooting aliens) This is just like Budapest all over again.
Clint Barton: You and I remember Budapest very differently.

Let's face it, this isn't the worst thing you've caught me doing.
Tony Stark to Pepper Potts when she first sees him half out of his armor, Iron Man

(Jack has just pulled a drowning Elizabeth out of the water, and Murtogg and Mullroy are trying to revive her)
Mullroy: She's not breathing!
(Jack pulls off her corset, and she takes a deep breath)
Murtogg: Never would've thought of that...
Jack: Clearly you've never been to Singapore.


There was also a Beaver, that paced on the deck,
Or would sit making lace in the bow:
And had often (the Bellman said) saved them from wreck,
Though none of the sailors knew how.

A few years ago during the floods, there had been an "incident" in which I might have been involved. I was not the cause of said incident, but I was there clearing up a few things and, well, some people got a bit singed, books were damaged and the teacup collection on the Queensland Terrace was irreparably diminished. I was also grateful that old-style librarians - the sort who could turn evildoers to ash with a single glare - were few and far between.
Vigil, by Angela Slatter

...it wasn' a bad journey. Ran inter a couple o' mad trolls on the Polish border an' I had a sligh' disagreement with a vampire in a pub in Minsk, bu' apart from tha' couldn’t’a bin smoother.

    Live-Action TV 

The capital of the United Arab Emirates is Abu Dhabi. I know that 'cause if I ever go back there I'll be executed.
Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock

Agent Pickering: When you were in Cuba, did you meet with a man named Juan Guzman?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: (Waits a Beat, picks up her phone and dials a number) Hello. It's Dr. Brennan from the Jeffersonian. You told me to call you if anyone asked about... you know... him... Someone from the State Department named Samantha Pickering. (hands the phone to Pickering)
Agent Pickering: Pickering. Yes, sir! Yes... I'll wait... I'll wait here. (hands the phone back to Brennan, who hangs up the receiver)
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Any more questions?
Agent Pickering: Uh, no. In fact, the entire review process is suspended. And I'm to wait here until someone comes to destroy my notes.
Bones, "The Woman in the Car"

The Doctor: Yeah, I've been to Belgium. I was in the Ardennes, looking for Charlemagne. He'd been kidnapped by an insane computer.
Agatha Christie: Doctor, Charlemagne lived centuries ago.
The Doctor: I've got a very good memory.

Airplane Pilot: Have you ever been in a cockpit before, Father?
Father Dougal: Ah, no. But this one time I was on the bridge of a Sealink ferry, and it was funny, I was looking at the controls and-
Father Noel: (coughcoughcough)
Father Dougal: ...Oh, um, nothing happened at all.

I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel...
Tyrion, Game of Thrones

(Hal runs into the kids' room)
Hal: Who wants to make five bucks?
Malcolm: What?
Hal: I need someone to take the fall.
Lois: (offscreen) Oh my God.
Malcolm: What did you do?
Lois: (offscreen) OH MY GOD.
Hal: No questions, just yes or no.
Malcolm: Make it ten.
Hal: You are a good son. (starts dragging Malcolm outside) I GOT HIM, LOIS!

    Newspaper Comics 

Calvin: Lies! Everything Miss Wormwood said about me was a lie! She just doesn't like me! She hates little boys! It's not my fault! I'm not to blame! She told you about the noodles, right? It wasn't me! Nobody saw me! I was framed! I wouldn't do anything like that! I'm innocent, I tell you!
Calvin's Mom: What noodles?
Calvin: Oh... uh... Ha ha! Did I say noodles? You must have heard wrong. I didn't say noodles.

Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooey (like the Noodle Incident I've referred to in several strips) is left to the reader's imagination, where it's sure to be more outrageous.
Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes

    Tabletop Game 

Do you really want to spend the rest of the week fending off a Zombie Apocalypse as the Earth vomits up her dead? AGAIN?
— A Klagen trying to reason one of his peers, Genius: The Transgression

    Video Games 

Varric: (on how his crossbow got her name) There was a girl, and I made a promise. Bianca is the only story I can never tell.
Merrill: You can't say that! Now I want to know even more!
Varric: (chuckles) That was the idea, Daisy.

Barney: You mean [the teleporter's] working? For real this time? Because I still have nightmares about that cat.
Alyx: What cat?
Dr. Kleiner: Ah, now, we've made major strides since then... major strides.
Alyx: What cat?

Brains come out, swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that.
Legally, I'm not allowed to own a firearm. I hope you guys are okay with that.
Nick, Left 4 Dead 2

I have been apprehensive of the gentler gender since that run-in with the Four Whores of the Apocalypse in Timbuktu... eh, no, it's not a topic fit for discussion, believe me, heh. I'd rather forget all about it...
Iain Tibet Gladstone, The Secret World

In the name and by the power of Her Enduring Majesty, a trade embargo and quarantine in absolute perpetuity has hereby been declared on the Empire of Hands.
1. No ship of London is to permit aboard a Pentecost ape without express and prior permission of the Admiralty.
2. Any and all acts of spirifrage are prohibited.
3. They know what they did.
— Excerpt from Standard Naval Regulations, Vol IV., Sunless Sea

I had that dream again. The one about the rabbits and their Molotov cocktails.
Rick Ajax, Unbound Saga

Events always seem to unfold wherever I go. Like Chicago a few years ago. ...It's a bother to explain.

We have conducted an in-depth report on Tundra the Sea Angel. However, we canceled the interview due to a grotesque sight. For further information, look up "buccal cones".
Nether News report, Disgaea 5: Alliance of Vengeance

I don't know what you did to piss her off, but whatever it was... nice.
Bayonetta, Bayonetta 2


I always enjoy unspeakable horrors that are left up to the viewer's imagination.
Matthew Taranto, author of Brawl in the Family

The only search my old site (notmydesk.com) ever pwned was "nude women with hiccups", the reasons for which I neither can nor wish to recall.
Chris Livingston, creator of Concerned, on becoming the number one Google result for the word "concerned"

EB: how'd you get it then?
TG: shenanigans
EB: ok.

My Soul powers aren't doing us any good, then that's my fault for wasting it on making that one thing awhile back...–★☾'
Seleen Quilla, Hackbent

Dora: Geez, you musta freaked out the first time you got your period, huh.
Hannelore: We don't... we don't talk about that day.

    Web Original 

And I made no friends buying the spork!
Peter Parker, Bad Lip Reading

Louie: But he's too strong! Not even Unca Scrooge can beat him!
Dewey: We can use the Fusion technique!
Louie: Not Fusion! I promised not to use it after last time!
Dewey: What happened to Webby was an accident! Believe in yourself, stupid!
Ducktalez 3

There are dozens and dozens of engravings of dwarves being struck down by an seemingly-endless herd of legendary named elephants. The slaughter must have been unimaginable. I cannot conceive of what they must have done to engender this much hatred from the elephants.

26. [DATA REDACTED ON O5 REQUEST]. Not even for recreational use

That's nothing. I once lost my genetics, rocketry, and stripping licenses in a single incident.
— The Alt Text to this xkcd comic

291. Limericks are strictly forbidden after the incident at the Cathedral of the Silver Flame. Let us never speak of it again.
— "1001 and More Things the Worst Party in Eberron is Forbidden from Doing"

    Western Animation 

Johnny: Mandy has made a knife out of her lollipop!
Nick: Y'know, that kind of thing is exactly what kept me alive in Alaska. That, and the fact that I was a very good dancer.

I'd...rather not talk about it.
Jim Morales, Kadik phys ed teacher, Code Lyoko

Pleakley: Well, I just hope that this won't end up like the incident with the giant chicken.
Jumba: I thought we were agreeing never to talk about that again.
Pleakley: All I remember are the feathers. Oh, the feathers...

They won't let me in the big people library downtown. There was some... unpleasantness. I can never go back.
Homer, The Simpsons

That's the second biggest tongue I have ever seen!
Clay, Xiaolin Showdown