""Congratulations! Now do it without cheating."
—The first Vectorman game if you use any cheat code and beat the game.
— entering any cheat code in Psychonauts
"At least we play fair, you cheating cowards! Try again without the warps!"
—The Dark Queen after being beaten by someone who used the level select code for Battletoads and Double Dragon
"This server is VAC-secured. Cheating will result in a permanent ban."
— Team Fortress 2 loading screens.
ďStanley. This is me being serious. In fact this is my serious room. Itís where I come to be serious. That table is the most serious table I could find. I looked at many, many tables. Hundreds of tables. Itís possible I looked at over a thousand tables, I honestly donít know, the specific number of tables I looked at isnít as important as the understanding that of all the tables that I looked at, this one is the most serious. I relate this story to impress upon you the extent to which this is the most serious room I have, which is why Iíve brought you here. You just tried to activate server cheats, which of course runs the risk of breaking the entire game. Youíve got no respect for the strict order of specific narrative events and I just canít have that. Itís time to get serious Stanley, no jokes, no games. Outside of this room I might be more tolerant of those things, but now weíre in the room. Which is why Iím subjecting you to the most serious punishment I can think of: One hundred, billion, trillion years standing here in the serious room. Perhaps after that we can talk about the severity of your actions and whether youíve learned anything, but until then, serious room. GO.Ē
ďWOAH. Did we not have the talk? Are we not in the serious room THIS VERY MOMENT? Did I not tell you how many tables I looked through? Iím going to be conservative and say that it was in the tens of thousands of tables, any reasonable person would say I spent an ABSURD amount of time doing nothing but looking at tables. And I genuinely considered each one too! I took a hell of a lot of notes! I kept the notes in a different room, that room is less serious than this one. Itís more of aÖ *sigh*Ö a notes room. Again, the point of this story is to convey how serious I feel this cheating issue is. And Iím sure youíll agree with me once youíve fulfilled your new punishment: INFINITY YEARS IN THE SERIOUS ROOM!! I generally have trouble reading human emotions but Iím going to go out on a limb here and say that youíre devastated by this crippling new punishment. As well you should be, itís the most serious I could think of. Can you get more serious than that? No. You canít. Donít try.Ē
ďHm, still no effect. The problem is clearly the serious room, it isn't serious enough. That's on me, Stanley, I apologize. I'm going to the store to go look through more tables, hopefully I find one that conveys how wrong what you're doing is. Now where did I put those notes...Ē