Quotes: No Celebrities Were Harmed

Celebrity voices are impersonated. No celebrities were harmed in the filming of this episode.
— Jay Sherman, The Critic

"Wait, Carmen Selectra? Doesn't he mean Carmen Electra?"
"No. No, he doesn't."''

Wow, you know Lucius Sweet? He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he looks just like him too!
Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

The Character of "Flint" is in no way based on Flint Dille.
Honest, Flint. No, really...
Tiny Toon Adventures, Credits Gag from "Thirteensomething"

Reviews

The villain is the young and hustling Senator Vane with 'a big appeal to the young and disadvantaged' (i.e. Commies)—just like Jack-Bobby-Teddy. The description of Mrs. Vane makes one think irresistibly (and intentionally) of Madame Onassis—not to mention Harold Robbins, Jacqueline Susann, and the horde of other writers who take such people and put them in books thinly-revealed rather than disguised.
Gore Vidal, "The Art and Arts of E. Howard Hunt"

Yahtzee: So this is our guy on the left, Ryan...
Gabriel: Neil Gaiman.
Yahtzee: —Yes, Neil Gaiman.
Gabriel: Staring at Ryan, I can't help but imagine that's exactly what Neil Gaiman wore for, like, the six weeks after he saw the original Terminator movie.
Let's Play Dreamweb

It seems impossible to begin anywhere other than the ending. As I have noted before, this is a script that blatantly advocates for the extra-judicial murder of Rupert Murdoch. Sure, yes, Magnussen is only a transparent metaphor for Murdoch and not Murdoch himself, but all the same, and especially given how willing Moffat has been in interviews to double down and say that he thinks killing Magnusson was the right thing to do, it's hard to overemphasize the moment, especially given the glorious bluntness with which Mary puts it: "People like Magnussen should be killed. Thatís why there are people like me."

The last I heard from Deee-lite was back when Miss Kier sued this playstation game called Space Channel 5 because they allegedly ripped her off for the lead character. I've played it, it's basically Simon with a dance beat, it's okay. (And yeah, the lead character is totally her, but she didn't win the lawsuit.)
Todd in the Shadows, "One Hit Wonderland" ("Groove is in the Heart")

Daffney's Sarah Palin ripoff gimmick, "The Governor", debuted after the 2008 American presidential election and lasted for nearly four months before TNA figured out Daffney didn't need it. At one point, TNA actually invited Sarah Palin to one of their PPVs, offering to donate to a charity if she showed up. She didn't. (Smart...ish gal.)
Taimapedia on Daffney Unger

Probably the most famous pro wrestling figure ever, Bruce Prichard played the role of Brother Love to the absolute hilt, wearing an all-white suit and sporting bizarre red makeup that we believe was to signify his southern heritage. While he never actually preached the word of God (he preached the word of 'Love'), his piped in music, complete with choir, made it pretty clear that he was a parody of televangilists such as Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart who had come under attack during this time....While such a gimmick should have had a very short shelf life, Prichard was so good in the role that he was able to parlay what should have been a two-month stay, tops, to a character that was a regular on WWF shows for years. In fact, at one point he even became a manager...

...of wrestling nuns, no less.

Noted butt plug Piers Morgan got a lot of shit thrown at him for saying that Shia is 'insulting real victims' by making up rape claims for attention. Piers has gone on and on about how he thinks Shia is lying. Piers is really trying to get to the bottom of it (read: get as much attention as possible)...I still have a million questions, but Iím sure a few will be answered when Law & Order: SVU airs an episode about this and you know they will. They probably cut short their Thanksgiving break to shoot it right away. If youíre a butt plug with a SAG card, call your agent now before they cast the Piers Morgan role. Itís a role you were born to play.
Michael K., "Shia LaBeoufís Performance Art Collaborators Speak Out About Rape Allegations"

Captain Cook is an interesting character. On the one hand, he seems like he could just as easily be a parody of another iconic science-fiction franchise... The very British Patrick Stewart — who rather infamously used to make fun of the Doctor Who actors at the Royal Shakespearean Society, according to Lalla Ward — played the lead role in the series. Despite the fact that Jean-Luc Picard was clearly meant to be French, Patrick Stewartís Britishness shone through, right down to the characterís fondness for tea. Much like Cook, the show would often feature Picard sipping tea on the ship while his officers engaged on risky missions planet-side.

Like Picard, Cook is constructed with a decidedly British stiff upper lip. He repeatedly defines himself as an 'explorer', a description that implies a far more academic and distanced style than the Doctor is used to. Heís rather detached and cold, maintaining emotional distance...he makes it clear that his relationship with his traveling companion is rather more rigidly defined than that between the Doctor and Ace. 'Now, now, Mags. No use in getting upset, and thatís an order.'