"The reader also knows that everyone poos. But if the first thing a character does is poo in front of the reader, the reader will think of him as the Pooing Character forevermore."
"Sheesh. Forget a woman's birthday four or five times and you hear about it forever."
—Roger Fox, FoxTrot
"Reputation takes a lifetime to build and only seconds to destroy."
—Arnold Rothstein, Boardwalk Empire
"If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder — they call him a cocksucker."
—Vince Boudreau, Play it to the Bone
Milhouse: Then let's just say, I don't care what people think of me anymore.
Bart: You mean up until now you did care? Then why did you wear that tutu to school last week?
Milhouse: What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu? Nobody ever brings those up!
—The Simpsons, "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
No one every lets me forget the time I wouldn't come out of a tunnel in case the rain spoiled my paint.
—Henry, "Percy Takes The Plunge"
Perdita: Mickey, she took our puppies!
Cruella: One movie and you're labelled for life!
—House of Mouse, "House of Crime"
Ever since you called me a 'freaky fish guy', I haven't been able to escape it! All over the world people see me and shout, "Hey, it's that freaky fish guy! Wanna throw a harpoon at us, Freaky Fish Guy?". And all because I ONCE threw a harpoon at somebody. Does that mean that I DESERVE being labelled a 'Freaky Fish Guy'!?...It's not like I make a habit out of it.
—Mako Tsunami, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?
Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: They also painted occasionally.
Lucky, lucky you. You get his attention right from the start, and I'm willing to bet he's not going to leave you alone. It almost makes me feel better about the time you crammed those bugs into my mouth and ears.
"I'd been a Serial Killer for four years, but they'd never given me a nickname. Then you bite one guy on the arse, and suddenly you're 'The Buttmuncher.'"
—Frankie Boyle doing "Unlikely Lines in a Thriller Movie", Mock the Week
"If Al Gore invented The Internet, I invented spell check."
—Dan Quayle, inventing Gore's invention of the internet
"Last time I was here, I said I was a (referring to his penis) "Magnum". Now people are always screaming 'Magnum' at me...I really shouldn't have said it."
"Amazingly, the revelation that Peter was the clone ended up not being the part of the issue that got the strongest reaction from fans, already a sign of trouble. During the big stupid fight, Mary Jane tries to calm Peter down by putting a hand on his shoulder. Peter is so interested in savagely beating a dude whose life he just saved that he doesn’t bother to find out who is behind him before he whips an arm back. As a result, he sends his very pregnant wife Mary Jane flying across the room... Interestingly, it was actually a nastier blow than Hank Pym landed on Janet back in the day, but he’s still the guy stuck with the wife-beating rap."
—Topless Robot, "The 13 Dumbest Spider-Man Stories.. Just From The Clone Saga"
"For the past 13 years almost every interview Vince Russo does, the host asks him about [David] Arquette winning the title."
"I'm still angry about that stage. And I will be angry about it forever. I'll leave a footnote about it in my will when I die of old age or something. Just be like, like, 'To whom it may concern. Fuck Top Zone, Act 2.' And they'll be like, what the hell does that even mean? And no one will know, but me. And no one will be able to ask me, for I am dead."
Okay okay, geez, look, I kill a guy one time and now I'm never gonna live it down for the rest of my life, am I?
—Doctor Insano, The Spoony Experiment
Character: Says "I like bread" that one time.
Fandom: Character has an obsession with bread. Bread is character's true love. Draws character as bread. Every meta joke in fanfic is about bread. The character's room is wallpapered with bread.
"Alistair loves cheese like Sten loves cookies. Which is to say they mention those things maybe twice, period."
— David Gaider on Dragon Age fans
Ranma Arrives: Ranma arrives. Surprising, huh? "You're a pervert!" said Akane, inadvertently setting her fanfic characterisation for all time.
slowbeef: Play the video in 3... 2... 1... and play. [video starts] So fake cancer, you fell for that, really?
->ProtonJon: Oh, for fuck's sake!