Quotes from works
"You've changed your face, you've changed your scent
You've even changed your fingerprint
Image is anything
But with all this electricity
You can't change your publicity
The lies the many sing"
—T. Bone Burnett, "The Rat Age"
"Words with venom, words that bind
Words used like weapons to cloud my mind!
I'm a person. I'm a man, but no matter how hard I try,
People just say 'Hey! There goes that 'nigger' guy'
Everywhere I go, it's always the same
I can't get away from that terrible name!
'Hey Nigger Guy! Nigger Guy! Nigger Guy!'
Stop! Now go. Call me Nigger Guy!
Fill me with your hate!
Try to bring me down— Oop up, you're too late
Someone just beat you to it
But my dream will not die
To be thought of as more... than just 'Nigger Guy'"
—Randy Marsh, South Park ("With Apologies to Jesse Jackson")
"The reader also knows that everyone poos. But if the first thing a character does is poo in front of the reader, the reader will think of him as the Pooing Character forevermore."
"Sheesh. Forget a woman's birthday four or five times and you hear about it forever."
—Roger Fox, FoxTrot
"If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder — they call him a cocksucker."
—Vince Boudreau, Play it to the Bone
Milhouse: Then let's just say, I don't care what people think of me anymore.
Bart: You mean up until now you did care? Then why did you wear that tutu to school last week?
Milhouse: What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu? Nobody ever brings those up!
—The Simpsons, "Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"
No one every lets me forget the time I wouldn't come out of a tunnel in case the rain spoiled my paint.
—Henry, "Percy Takes The Plunge"
Eric: Am I never to be forgiven for one moment of weakness?
Baxter: According to our latest census you've had at least fourteen moments of weakness, Eric.
Perdita: Mickey, she took our puppies!
Cruella: One movie and you're labelled for life!
—House of Mouse, "House of Crime"
Ever since you called me a 'freaky fish guy', I haven't been able to escape it! All over the world people see me and shout, "Hey, it's that freaky fish guy! Wanna throw a harpoon at us, Freaky Fish Guy?". And all because I ONCE threw a harpoon at somebody. Does that mean that I DESERVE being labelled a 'Freaky Fish Guy'!?...It's not like I make a habit out of it.
—Mako Tsunami, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series
Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress?
Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis.
Tess: They also painted occasionally.
Lucky, lucky you. You get his attention right from the start, and I'm willing to bet he's not going to leave you alone. It almost makes me feel better about the time you crammed those bugs into my mouth and ears.
"Okay okay, geez, look, I kill a guy one time and now I'm never gonna live it down for the rest of my life, am I?"
—Doctor Insano, The Spoony Experiment
Quotes from creators
"Nothing stands out so conspicuously, or remains so firmly fixed in the memory, as something which you have blundered.Ē
"If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error."
— John Kenneth Galbraith
"When I make a mistake, it's a beaut."
—Fiorello La Guardia
"I'd been a Serial Killer for four years, but they'd never given me a nickname. Then you bite one guy on the arse, and suddenly you're 'The Buttmuncher.'"
—Frankie Boyle doing "Unlikely Lines in a Thriller Movie", Mock the Week
"If Al Gore invented The Internet, I invented spell check."
—Dan Quayle, inventing Gore's invention of the internet
"Last time I was here, I said I was a (referring to his penis) "Magnum". Now people are always screaming 'Magnum' at me...I really shouldn't have said it."
"I had no protection against the sex jokes and changed attitudes that the Bunny article brought with it; and my heart sank whenever I was introduced as a former Playboy Bunny or found my employee photograph published with little explanation in Playboy."
"Alistair loves cheese like Sten loves cookies. Which is to say they mention those things maybe twice, period."
— David Gaider on Dragon Age fans
Quotes from others
"Wait, I forgot to do some 'Paul Reubens wanked in a porno theater' jokes. Have ... have you noticed how 'Pee-wee' could refer to both his character and his penis? Yeah. (Aced it.)"
"Tom Cruise, dressed in head-to-toe black, looming over a cowering Oprah as he jumps up and down on the buttermilk-colored couch like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Cruise bouncing on that couch is one of the touchstones of the last decade, the punchline every time someone writes about his career."
"OK, if youíre going to use one story to form the impression of your new Doctor then you at the very least have to actually show what your new Doctor is like... they do so by having him try to strangle Peri. In the best of circumstances this would be an unwise way to introduce a new lead character. In these circumstances it is difficult to understand how the idea even got approved...The show treats this man as its hero and expects the audience to tune in nine months later to watch his continuing adventures.
Of course they declined to. (Colin) Bakerís Doctor is completely poisoned here. Thereís nothing whatsoever that can be done to make this character watchable to anyone who has seen this. And I speak from experience here. This is the story that killed my parentsí interest in Doctor Who. To this day my mother refuses to accept the possibility that Baker might be good on the audios simply because of how much this story made her hate him."
"Iím not sure that opening on this character smiling in the face of somebody being diagnosed with Leukaemia is the best idea Davies has ever had. I get that he is a hard nosed CIA operative but I still donít buy that any human being could be quite so cold as to laugh in the face of a terminal illness because it would mean promotion."
"Quick, name the first WWF personality to pose for a porno mag. Youíre thinking of Sable, right?
Nope! It was Shawn Michaels, who posed for Playgirl magazine in 1996, three years before Rena Mero. And unfortunately for him, he ended up getting a lot of crap for it backstage...And so Shawn Michaels, WWFís resident Sexy Boy, gradually evolved from a narcissistic pretty boy to a stripper."
Character: Says "I like bread" that one time.
Fandom: Character has an obsession with bread. Bread is character's true love. Draws character as bread. Every meta joke in fanfic is about bread. The character's room is wallpapered with bread.
Ranma Arrives: Ranma arrives. Surprising, huh? "You're a pervert!" said Akane, inadvertently setting her fanfic characterisation for all time.
slowbeef: Play the video in 3... 2... 1... and play. [video starts] So fake cancer, you fell for that, really?
->ProtonJon: Oh, for fuck's sake!