Quotes / Multiple-Choice Past

I mean, what is it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that, I bet... something like that. Something like that... happened to me, you know. I'm - not exactly sure what it was. If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!

Okay, so there's this comic who can't make an audience laugh... I think that's how this one goes, I forget sometimes... Oh, you've heard that one? All right. Ah, I can't keep 'em straight. How about the one where a mob killer named Napier comes to Gotham and - no, wait, you're too young for that one. I know. This one always works. So a small-time yutz in a Red Hood walks into a factory, right? He's there to steal the payroll...

Hugo Strange: I have read twelve different accounts of your past. All different, except for one detail: Batman.
The Joker: What can I say? I like to keep things interesting. A wise man once told me that if you have to have an origin story, you're better off making it multiple choice.

"I prefer not to think of it as multiple choice...it's more like Choose Your Own Adventure.
The Joker, Batman #039 (New 52).

But before he became the Clown Prince of Crime, who was he? A thief who accidentally got his pregnant wife killed? A mob boss who stabbed Batman's girlfriend? A petty thug in the wrong place at the wrong time? Nobody knows for sure, not even the Joker himself.
Boomstick on The Joker, Death Battle

I took a look at my thoughts, my appearance, my expressions, my mannerisms and idiosyncracies and didn't like them. So I stripped myself down, chucked things out and replaced them with a completely new personality. When I heard someone say something intelligent, I used it later as if it were my own. When I saw a quality in someone that I liked, I took it. I still do that.

And that's how Equestria was made!... Maybe on the way home, I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark. It's a gem!
Pinkie Pie after trying to tell the story of how she got her cutie mark, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "The Cutie-Mark Chronicles"

In order to prevent knowledge of SCP-001 from being leaked, several/no false SCP-001 files have been created alongside the true file/files.

J.D: NO! No more! Here are some of the lies you've told us over the last five years: You went to Harvard. You have a wife who only has a pointer and "thumb-pinky." You have a, a "brother-dad," a "mother-sister?" You have two kids, no, wait, you have one kid, no, you had a baby with a Chinese local! You're a deaf mute! Oh, wait, now you're telling us that you're a world-class hurdler and you slept with the beautiful and irreplaceable Amy Carter?
Janitor: I-I didn't sleep with Amy Carter. We did everything but.
J.D: (groans)
Janitor: And I really was a world-class hurdler.

Bashir: You know, I still have a lot of questions to ask you about the past.
Garak: I've given you all the answers I'm capable of.
Bashir: You've given me answers, alright, but they were all different. What I want to know is, out of all the stories you've told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?
Garak: My dear Doctor, they're all true.
Bashir: Even the lies?
Garak: Especially the lies.

Missy: Exciting, isn't it? Watching the Cybermen getting started?
Doctor: They always get started. They happen everywhere there's people. Mondas, Telos, Earth, Planet 14, Marinus. Like sewage, smartphones and Donald Trump, some things are just inevitable.
Doctor Who, "The Doctor Falls"

What war did Meier serve in, anyway? Straighten his back, slick back his hair and it would be easy to imagine him as a Nazi officer, ordering the murder of concentration camp victims by the dozen. More likely, he was a lowly propaganda artist, spending long nights over an easel to ensure that the Jews looked as foul and monstrous as possible while the brave Aryan lads stood tall and noble. Alternatively, his crimes might have been a little closer to home for small-town America: perhaps he was a soldier in Vietnam who served as accomplice at a massacre like My Lai. Or a gang executioner, working for The Mafia or cocaine traffickers. In the World of Darkness, Meier may have served in a war no one ever heard of. Was he the ghoul of a vampire, a blood-junkie murdering innocents across the decades to avenge the pride of one of the Damned? Maybe he was a sorcerer's apprentice, performing kidnappings and torture to further a feud between two cabals of the mysterious Pentacle. Finally, it might have been a war everyone's heard of, and one long before the atrocities of the 20th century: maybe he fought in the American Revolution, or The Peloponnesian War. Perhaps Meier was once a creature of glorious light and bloody hands, an angel who rebelled against his master - or served too well...
Today, though, he's just an old man. He wants to be left alone, and he'll do anything to make sure of it.
Midnight Roads, New World of Darkness

"Everything you think you know about me was a lie told by me to confuse someone, or conjecture from someone who'd be in no position to know. So yeah, maybe I'm a fragment of Unicron, because maybe Planet X used to BE Unicron. And maybe I'm his avatar made manifest and untethered once he collapsed into a giant singularity. And maybe I'm from the Cybertronian Empire.note  And maybe I'm just an ordinary Autobot who went crazy from Powerlinxing to the wrong Mini-Cons. Maybe I'm all of those things, or none. And you know what the best part is? You'll. Never. Know."
Sideways, a Transformers villain who appears in multiple continuities as maybe-the-same-guy-or-not, explains his Continuity Snarl