Quotes: Most Definitely Not a Villain

On works

"Standing at the railing is none other than Telly Savalas, dressed up in a truly horrifying costume: He's all done up in a white polyester leisure suit, white shoes, and shiny black mock turtleneck... Telly introduces himself as 'Dr.' Stefan Svevo of the 'medical rescue ship' Irene. Uh huh. Svevo describes his henchmen as "paramedics", which is probably the biggest laugh to be had in this film."
The Agony Booth recaps Beyond The Poseidon Adventure (1979)

Ficton

"Hello, friends. I am a perfectly normal human worm-baby. You have nothing, absolutely nothing, to fear from me, so just ignore everything I say and we'll get along just fine."

Guard-bot #2: Be you robot or human?
Leela: Robot... we be.
Fry: Uh, yup. Just two robots out robot-ing it up!
(Leela and Fry both begin dancing The Robot)
Futurama, "Fear of a Bot Planet"

Liandrin: Soon we will capture al'Thor's friends on Toman Head, and then he will be ours! Then the Great Lord will rule the known world!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Moiraine: Did you say something?
Liandrin: No. Go Light.
The Wheel of Time parody summaries (The Great Hunt)

Sabine (disguised as a police officer): He was just speaking to me, a police officer, about his brother Nale's treatment in prison.
Nale (disguised as Elan): Right! Because I am Elan, and I am foolishly and inexplicably merciful to enemies who would gladly butcher me, against the better judgement of my allies.
Vaarsuvius: Hmmm. Well, that certainly is one of your more puzzling qualities. Very well.

"We are looking for a particular robot. A... fellow robot. Because we are also robots."
Antimony Carver, disguised as a robot, Gunnerkrigg Court

"Yes, I am your friend. I run a non-demon restaurant here in your space-time manifold, of which I am a native."
Demon-Jame, Terror Island

"My name is Dr. Alex Brisbane. I'm definitely not a villain."

"He's a very very nice man, and he said he would never ever Double-Cross anyone, and to prove that, he sent me a nice basket of dog biscuits for me to eat. Yummy!"
— Your officer, regarding Sergeant Kilmore, Heart of Evil