Dear Journal, I had a horrible day today. I stopped Count Apocalyptogeddon by tossing a couple dozen cars at him; though I was a little worried he might have bruised a rib. I took a break and explained to some kids that Graffiti is vandalism and like destroying property that's not yours, they seemed to get it. Then when I told a civilian I was taking his car to get to the bank to stop a robbery, he was all pissy about me "stealing" it! The nerve of some people! Oh, and those henchmen Count Apocalyptogeddon hired after the last dozen died sure do bleed a lot, I wonder if club soda can get out blood stains?
—Love and liberty, Lady Lumina
So short is its memory span that although Sever kills, I dunno, maybe 40 Vancouver police officers in an opening battle, by the end, when someone says, "She's a killer," Ecks replies, "She's a mother."
Ghost: It's okay to steal from the rich; it doesn't hurt anyone. Besides, I had to feed my children.
Spoony: Oh really? Oh that's good, I like that. "Stealing is wrong," especially coming hot off the heels of all the weird diabolical evil shit we just had to pull in Pagan. "Stealing is wrong." You know why I like that so much? It's because the entire moral argument of Ultima VIII is that virtue and honour are never as simple as black and white, that oftentimes, a lesser evil must be countenanced to achieve the greater good. This is demonstrated by your many acts of theft in Pagan, the manipulation and betrayal of several people which directly results in their gory deaths, forming alliances with evil forces like the Necromancers and the Diabolists so you can master their clearly evil black magics and use them to escape, graverobbing, several acts of wanton murder including the slaughter of many many children, and the summoning of archdemons to commit murder on your behalf. Oh, and releasing vengeful gods upon the world to wreak untold devastation on an unwitting populace while you selfishly work to amass more power and abandon them to their fates. So you'd think if anyone could appreciate the moral grey area of petty theft by now, it'd be the goddamn Avatar. And Batman.
The Avatar: Stealing is wrong.
Another Ghost: You know how each goblin tribe has its own war totem and they won't fight without it? Well, the elders sent me to go into the goblin camp and steal their war totem. It was certain death! So when I was sent off, I just ran away.
The Avatar: Your village was destroyed by goblins. Had you stolen your totem, like you'd been sent to do, the goblins would not have attacked your village.
Spoony: Okay, so the Avatar just got through telling one guy that stealing is always wrong, and not even two minutes later, he's telling another guy he's a coward for not committing an act of theft?! What, because they're goblins, they don't have rights to personal property? Fuckin' racist.
Shamino: If you could summon a creature native to the Abyss that possesses magic, that creature should be able to defeat the ritual... but that means summoning a great demon. Is it right that we use such a force of evil, even if it aids us in our quest?
Avatar: We may do as we please, so long as no others are harmed by our actions.
Spoony: Really. Okay, that's new. Guy's all over the fucking map at this point! Remember, kids: it's okay to perform blood rituals and summon archdemons, just so long as you're really careful that no-one gets hurt!
Avatar: Stealing is wrong.
[Cut to the Avatar summoning Pyros]
Spoony: I would pay ten thousand dollars to see where that shit's written in the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom. The Avatar's system of morality is so fucked up by now, you've really got to wonder how he can say any of this shit with a straight face.