"Incidentally, this section contains about as jarring a shift of tone as you can get without splicing five minutes of The Human Centipede into the middle of Mallrats."
"Ever play with a dog thatís really happy and bouncy one minute, and the next minute heís ripping your arm off and using it as a chew toy? This movieís shifts in tone are kind of like that."
"You went to go see a comedy about toys. You ended up halfway through flashing back to sitting at your grandma's bedside as she passed away. NO! GRANDMA! DON'T LEAVE ME! I'M NOT READY FOR YOU TO DIE YET! NOOOOOOO!!!!! Oh look! The dinosaur toy is on roller skates! I feel better now."
"See, when you come outta those up-tempo goddamn numbers, man, it's impossible to make those transitions. And then you gotta go into somebody DYING, you know, they do this to me all the time, I don't know what they hell they do it for... I want a goddamn concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a fucking up-tempo record every time I do a goddamn DEATH dedication!... I want somebody use his fuckin' brain to not come out of a goddamn record... that's up-tempo and I gotta talk about a fuckin' dog dying!"
— Casey Kasem
"Anyway, when they're not urging their readers to talk to squirrels or torment their own murderers, they're filling their pages with the sort of extreme content normally associated with sicko websites aimed at snickering frat boys - grisly real-life murder stories, close-up photos of tumours and injuries, that kind of thing - the only real difference being that here the relentless horror is interspersed with heart-warming readers' letters in which Kids Say the Funniest Things. Somehow the juxtaposition only makes the nasty content seem worse."
Ken: What did I do to deserve this?
Captain Joe: (pensive) We don't deserve half the things we get. (laughs maniacally, then throws down his pen angrily) You're stuck here!
You became friends with Yosuke.
"They ended up having kindergartners singing songs to their teddy bears followed by eighteen-year-olds doing speed metal guitar solos."
— Greg, referring to his school's talent show, Diary of a Wimpy Kid
"Leah vacillated between calling down curses on his head and wishing for his love again with a speed that gave Sue whiplash."
— Narration, Luminosity
"A previous episode of this show involved several thousand innocent people being violently murdered with machine guns. Just thought we should mention that."
"Its always lightest before the dark"
— The Killer Inside Me
"The series presents a whimsical fairytale world and then systematically murders the innocents while all you can do is boink random NPCs and perform fart emotes. Then at the end you get to sort of put a single bad guy down without any sense of justice or closure. It just ends. (...) Imagine if the movie Se7en had been exactly the same, except Brad Pittís character had done a bunch of screwy pratfalls and Wayans brothers style comedy."
"What a trip! What a trip! Blizzards all the way! Snow 20 feet deep! But we had to get that serum through! It was mush, mush, mush all night! (Grabbing the dog and pushing him like a sled dog) Come on, mush, mush, mush, mush, mush! Suddenly, the glacier cracks! There's a roar! Tons of ice! NO ESCAPE! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! How things been with you?"
"Why is it that all of these episodes that have babysitting start out as light comedy only to dive-bomb into stuff out of a horror movie?"
"I did not hit her. It's not true! That's bullshit, I did not hit her! I did not! Oh hi Mark."
— Johnny, The Room
"Full Combo! Result: FAILED."
Choir: Saint Esther works with cripples, the sick and the abused
And then she says "tits", "bums" and "fart" to keep us all amused
Announcer: You may notice that on That's Life!, viewers are whisked from the heights of comedy to the depths of tragedy and back again, oscillating at a frequency fast enough to give most viewers the emotional bends.
CAD began in a style not too unlike newspaper comics; something trivial and amusing (well, it tried) to read at work when you were bored, have a chuckle at and move on. Most likely Buckley never put any effort into the actual art because he thought he could push this thing along on the jokes alone; a simple style is okay for a simple little gag strip that you're going to forget by the time you've had your next coffee. But at some point (the word "Ethan" appears, crossed out) Buckley broke out of his straight jacket and decided a shitty little copy-and-paste comic was the perfect medium for tragic, emotional tales of human woe. That gamers looking for a little giggle would somehow appreciate depth of plots like miscarriages, failing relationships and the like. He - for whatever reason - thought that he could trade in the randomrofllol for OHGODWHYYYY and everything would carry on as normal.
Red Mailbox: You see Harold? That man tried to put his package into that mailbox!
Blue Mailbox: Maybe he thought it was a female box?
Red Mailbox: ...itís been 9 years since Judy died.
Nostalgia Critic: Actually, the funny thing is, have you watched this scene recently? I mean okay, you got the mother shot, the kid looking for her and the father saying—
Bambi's Father: Your mother can't be with you anymore.
Nostalgia Critic: But watch what comes immediately after.
(cut to birds singing a happy song)
Nostalgia Critic: What the hell? It's like, we can't let reality set in too deep, so here's some pretty birdies! Ooh, the birdies, nobody's dead, nobody's dead hey birdies, birdies!