Quotes / Mondegreen

I like the missing pieces. I don't like things too tidy. Terry Gilliam heard the line "in a Portuguese saloon" [from The Part You Throw Away], and he thought I was saying, "On the porch, the geese salute." That's better! I hope more people misunderstand me.
She got a new apartment
It's out on the escarpment
And in her glove compartment
Are my songs

She hasn't even heard them
Since she found out what the words meant
She decided she preferred them
All wrong
— Barenaked Ladies, Testing 1-2-3

Hampster! (Master!)
A Dentist! (Apprentice!)
Hard Porn! (Heartborne!)
Steven Seagal! (Seventh Seeker!)
Dis Rifle! (Disciple!)
And me, the Fishmaster! (In me, the Wishmaster!)
— Misheard Lyrics and (Actual Lyrics) for Nightwish's Wishmaster song

Snoo PINGAS usual, I see!

Fagateer! (Bucanneer!)
We got us some meth! (We got us a map!)
If you love to sell pussy (If you love to sail the sea)
Dickity pregnant dick dickity fags! (Dinky-dink-dink-a-dinkadefast!)
Hang the black fag at the end of the mast! (Hang the black flag at the end of the mast!)
Fuck yeah!!!!!!!! (Again!!)
Land WHORE!!! (Land HO!!!)
We're touching black fags wherever we go! (Wind at your back, lads, wherever you go!)
— Misheard Lyrics and (Actual Lyrics) for LazyTown's You Are A Pirate

Hold! Devil's! Pot of Tea!
Hold! Devil's! Pot of Tea!
Hold! Devil's! Pot of Tea!
Hold! Devil's! Pot of Tea Mulan!


We had lots of the dreams, all creatures were most exploited
Honor and pay for each but there is no answer
We wind up and slip in through a trained ferret.
We are lots of the shit
But only been there three answers
before I caught the question
And slowly, I wish myself a long dream
but cannot hear myself wishing
We had lots of the people, who are the dreams, the ground receptive
Inquire to the poured concrete
Slowly, but there is no answer, or if there is, we don't understand...

When i talk to the trees
O'great trees who have learned to speak slowly
I know that they believe that they have an answer
Then i walk in the city where i cannot hear it
When i talk to the city
I have already learned three answers
Before i call the question
And slowly, i wish myself among trees
But can not hear myself wishing
When i talk to the people
Who are the trees that grow in the city
They reply with a fond kindness, slowly
But there is no answer
For experience to be made by mistake
— Misheard Lyrics followed by Actual Lyrics for the distorted section at the beginning of "Bent Cold Sidewalk" from Tangerine Dream's "Cyclone"

Frank: You gotta pay the troll toll
To get into this boy's hole
You gotta pay the troll toll to get in.
You want this baby boy's hole
You gotta pay the Troll Toll—
Charlie: Dammit, Frank! You keep pronouncing it "boy's hole" when I clearly wrote "boy's soul"! Are you chewing gum while you're singing?! Spit it out!

Boku touch it PENIS
Kimi touch it PENIS

Bokutachi VENUS
Kimitachi VENUS
— Misheard and actual lines from "Wow Wow VENUS" by VENUS

Might can trollz everything.
— Mishearing of Vergil's catchphrase "Might controls everything" from Devil May Cry, made particularly relevant by his infamy.

He did a good job cleaning up the place
But his bosses didn't like him, so they shot him in his face (into space)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 first theme song, misheard and actual. Not that they wouldn't be willing to.

Wha-what did he just say? Godzilla sucks dick?
James Rolfe commenting on a line from the japanese dub of Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla

One of the more interesting things I remember about this song is that everyone misheard the chorus. "I'm blue, I believe I will die, I'm in need of a guy, I got beat up at night". (In Aberdeen, I'm on diet) There are a lot of them. I think it's because the guy's autotune and accent are so wonky, but also because the human brain refuses to accept that this could really be as stupid as it is. Surely, there had to be more to this song than a never-ending list of monochromatic objects wrapped around a gibberish chorus? Nope, that's it. That's literally all it is - a bunch of nonsense syllables, and a list of blue things.
Todd in the Shadows critiquing Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)"

I'm a little man! (I'm a leading man)
And I'm also evil! (And the lies I weave are)
Also into cats! (Oh so intricate)
Also into cats! (Oh so intricate)
— Misheard Lyrics and (Actual Lyrics) to Fall Out Boy's This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race song

"All we need is somebody to lean on," I was hearing those Google commercials as "All we need is somebody's amiibo." Then again, it's truer!