"I have heard [Gabe] suggest that the game is crack, but it's more like all of the ingredients and equipment that you need to make crack, which I'd say is worse."
Created by Swedish video-game programmer and apparent right-angle enthusiast Markus Persson,
Minecraft is an open-source platform game that has become the most popular video game in the universe among small children. Recently, Minecraft's parent company was purchased by Microsoft for $2.5 billion. That's two and a half billion dollars for one video game. I've gotten my life all wrong. This guy wasn't even looking for a payday. He just liked building digital log cabins, as Swedes are wont to do.
"You know you fail at Minecraft when you think dirt is useless."
"What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway."
Guy: Hey! Know how you've been bugging me to play Minecraft for the past year? I'm game.
Girl: But you said you didn't want to "get hooked and spend days on end moving virtual cubes around while sitting motionless." What changed?
Guy: I'm having my wisdom teeth out, and I'll be useless and doped up on painkillers for the next few days, so that actually sounds like the perfect distraction.
Girl: Oh. I'll set you up on our server!
[72 hours later...]
Girl: Hey — starting to feel better? Enjoying the game? Let's see what you've... What the hell? Where IS everything? ... You made the entire continent perfectly flat?
Guy: And sorted it into layers.
Guy: I feel good about things. This is a good game.
Girl: ... What exactly is in the painkillers they gave you?
I can't read the label because I'm a hologram.