"It's the first "sandbox game" that actually lets you dig up sand at the beach, build a giant sandbox, build a sandcastle in it, smelt the sand into glass with a furnace you built yourself, rebuild it into a giant glass pyramid with a moat of lava, and then blow it all up with TNT while riding a pig."
"You know you fail at Minecraft when you think dirt is useless."
"You have to find your own entertainment, whether that be skipping through the wilderness picking flowers or building an eighty-foot golden cock and balls. (...) But then again part of the appeal of Minecraft is the effort involved in gathering the materials. That eighty-foot cock and balls wouldn't be so satisfyingly turgid if it weren't for the entire continent you had to turn over to find the ore. (...) Minecraft is a responsible parent; it knows that you'll swiftly get bored of your golden cock and balls if it just
gives you one, so it pays you five dollars a week to wash its car so you can save up and gain an appreciation for value so when you finally have your golden cock and balls, you'll love it all the more. Until Minecraft sends the suicide shrubs to demolish it because you also need to learn that sometimes life will just shit on you. As it will when your boss finds out what you spent your entire workday on."
"What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway."
Guy: Hey! Know how you've been bugging me to play Minecraft for the past year? I'm game.
Girl: But you said you didn't want to "get hooked and spend days on end moving virtual cubes around while sitting motionless." What changed?
Guy: I'm having my wisdom teeth out, and I'll be useless and doped up on painkillers for the next few days, so that actually sounds like the perfect distraction.
Girl: Oh. I'll set you up on our server!
[72 hours later...]
Girl: Hey — starting to feel better? Enjoying the game? Let's see what you've... What the hell? Where IS everything? ... You made the entire continent perfectly flat?
Guy: And sorted it into layers.
Guy: I feel good about things. This is a good game.
Girl: ... What exactly is in the painkillers they gave you?
I can't read the label because I'm a hologram.