Quotes: Milon's Secret Castle

Let's just assume for a second this wasn't a game. Say you're at the airport, and a guard won't let you on the elevator.
Guard: "You're too fat to ride, kid."
You: "Are you serious? I only weigh like 80 pounds."
Guard: "Look. If you want to get your sumo ass on THIS elevator, you need to run to the terminal 2 miles away, find a duck underneath an unmarked seat in an undisclosed gate, and pay him $35 for a feather. Now there are going to be a lot of little monsters trying to kill you, so try not to get eaten. You'll know the duck when you see him — he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt and speaking broken English. After you've got the feather, come back here, and then I'll let you ride."
You: "Couldn't I just take the stairs? I only need to get two floors up."
Guard: "Psh! If you want to tire yourself, Captain Fitness. But if you're in a hurry, you better shut your pie hole and start looking for that duck."
Seanbaby, "Useless Powerups"