Quotes / Million-to-One Chance

"Million-to-once chances crop up nine times out of ten."

Vaarsuvius: I estimate no greater than a 10% chance of [Qarr] being able to summon another devil. Further, even if he were successful, the majority of devils that might possibly respond are well within an accepted range of difficult for the forces we have arranged here. [...] The chance of him summoning a devil that would actually put us in mortal danger is infinitesimally low.
Elan: So it's like a million-to-one chance? [...] TAKE COVER!
Big Red Devil: RAAAWWRRR!!!
Elan: A 10% chance is unlikely, but everyone knows that a million-to-one chance is a sure thing!
Vaarsuvius: And once again, Probability proves itself willing to sneak into a back alley and service Drama as would a copper-piece harlot.

"This operation had a zero percent chance of succeeding, but it seems that theoretical calculations are pointless with you."

Bunty: The chances of us getting out of here are about a million to one!
Ginger: Then there's still a chance.

''"The percentages mean nothing. A brave heart will overcome any odds."

"Give it your best shot! I am 100% certain you're returning from this battle, Travis. ...In a body bag."
Sylvia, offering her usual "words of encouragement" before everynote  boss battle, in No More Heroes.

"The chances of anything coming from Mars
Are a million to one," he said
The chances of anything coming from Mars
Are a million to one.
But still, they come!

Sergeant Colon looked wretched. "Weeell, what if it's not a million-to-one chance?" he said.
Nobby stared at him.
"What d'you mean?" he said.
"Well, all right, last desperate million-to-one chances always work, right, no problem, but...well, it's pretty wossname, specific. I mean, isn't it?"
"You tell me," said Nobby.
"What if it's just a thousand-to-one chance?" said Colon agonizedly.
"Anyone ever heard of a thousand-to-one shot coming up?"
Carrot looked up. "Don't be daft, Sergeant," he said. "No one ever saw a thousand-to-one chance come up. The odds against it are—" his lips moved—"millions to one."
"Yeah. Millions," agreed Nobby.
"So it'd only work if it's your actual million-to-one chance," said the sergeant.
"I suppose that's right," said Nobby.
"So 999,943-to-one, for example—" Colon began.
Carrot shook his head. "Wouldn't have a hope. No one ever said, 'It's a 999,943-to-one chance but it just might work.'"

"Fate laughs at probabilities."

Nia: The likelihood of that is infinitely close to zero.
Simon: Maybe, but it isn't zero. As far as I'm concerned, that makes it the same as a 100% chance.

Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away, plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard! See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never. It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: 'It was a million to one shot, Doc! Million to one!'"
Kramer, Seinfeld, "The Fusilli Jerry"