"For yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am, if, like a crab, you could go backward."
— Hamlet to Polonius
"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!"
Ben recoiled, nearly jumping up from his seat.
It was the old woman. She was looking at him, an amused smirk turning up the corner of her mouth.
“Where the hell did you come from?” Ben demanded as soon as he choked down the bite that had been nearly forgotten in his mouth.
“Ohio. So, what are you running from?”
Ben forced his heart rate to slow as he studied this intruder into his otherwise uneventful trip. She didn’t seem quite as old as he remembered, fewer wrinkles around her eyes and mouth and more red hairs peeking though the grey. He dismissed the observation as impossible.
— Here Is No Why, by brietta-a-m-f