If you have seen Labyrinth, then you are not a virgin. In fact, if you've seen
Labyrinth, then you never were a virgin. It's the power of David Bowie's Area that, even through a recording, even in a family friendly movie, it can reach out and completely burn your virginity from the fabric of space and time. If you ever will see the movie
Labyrinth, then you're not a virgin on credit, because your virginity will be retroactively destroyed in the future. In short, the moment that David Bowie appeared in that movie, in those tights, his Area became super powered, and devirginized the entire world.
on the power of David Bowie
Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen
Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine
"You see, Master," I told her. "This is what happens when you start rumors about someone being some kind of sex god: people try to pray to them."