mentioned the fez to Piers and I before he even wrote it. He said, "Iím thinking of putting Matt in a fez in episode 13." And of course both Piers' and my jaws hit the floor and went ďA fez? Youíre kidding me, youíre going to put Matt in a fez? If we put Matt in a fez, Matt will never take the fez off. He will want to wear the fez for the whole of the next series. It will be glued
to his head. Heíll be wearing it, you know, with his own clothes. It will be a nightmare.Ē And he said, ďNo no, Iíve got a cunning plan; as soon as heís got the fez Iím going to kill the fez.Ē
Hello, I'm Matt Smith, and I'm wearing a fez!
Terrifying Fact Number Two, is that Iíve just watched Matt Smith carrying a flaming torch on screen. Oh, itís for such a thrilling scene in Episode 12. Really and truly, magnificent and epic. A proper movie moment. But never mind that, itís Matt carrying a FLAMING TORCH. Look, Mattís lovely, heís a magnificent, brand new, hilarious, heartbreaking, heroic Doctor ó but the fact is, if that man walks into a room with a coffee then itís only so long before youíre wearing it. No, really, clumsiest man on earth. He walks like heís in a constant state of surprise at his own limbs. I remember when he turned up at a Worldwide meeting really early on, and the first thing he did was spill a cup of coffee over a rather lovely woman. Naturally she giggled, flushed and introduced her mother. (Ahh, life when youíre Matt ! I accidentally made eye contact with the same woman ó she phoned the police and shot me in the face.) On the way out he apologised to a completely different woman for the coffee incident. ďThat was the wrong woman,Ē I said, as he went out the doors. ďNope,Ē he replied, ďThat was the second cup.Ē
Oh, and there was the top secret, very special, extra readthrough for Episode 10 (Iím talking that up, but what the hell) and Matt came striding in with a GUITAR ON HIS BACK. I have honestly never seen a whole roomful of people flatten themselves against a wall with such a high-pitched squeal of terror. Except Karen
, of course, who trotted along behind him without a care in the world. Oh, the horror as the Doctor spun and chatted and coffeed a series of delighted women. How that guitar arced and scythed! Swish! Get down, Karen! Swish! Karen, save yourself! Swish! Not her face, Matt, NOT HER FACE!! Ah, the memories. You know, to this day Iím not sure if Matt knew he had a guitar on his back ó he might just have collided with a musician.
Now the reason Iím not wearing the jacket is, weíre doing a rehearsal and Iím on the floor, so I had to take it off to keep it clean. I put it on a table...into a glass of grape juice.
That was Matt Smith... or possibly that was The Doctor. I am not quite sure about who I was talking to just now.
Matt (apropos nothing): I used to love just wearing pyjamas all day. I'd get pyjamas in the morning and then put them on; pyjamas are quite soft, aren't they, so I'd enjoy them for a few hours and—
Graham Norton: You were born to play Doctor Who.
Matt (on his infamous clumsiness): It's a sort of inherent disease...
Norton: But you break things.
I break everything. [...] At my best friend's house I had a plastic beaker at the age of fourteen and everyone else was using glasses.
Interviewer: Your costumeís had a bit of a shake-up. Thereís a bit of a teddy boy vibe going on there...
Is there? I donít know... Well, I always said that the costume would evolve, and I always wanted something purple, a la Pertwee
. And so now Iíve got purple tweed, and cool purpley boots and a cool purpley waistcoat and a purple bowtie and purple lining. Iíve got my purple wish.
Interviewer: [Not quite catching] Sorry, your purple what?
Matt: My purple wish!
Interviewer: I thought you said whisk...
Matt: A purple whisk would be even more exciting! Yeah, Iím going to ask for one of those!
Interviewer: That would be brilliant. A sonic whisk...
Yes, a sonic whisk! Thatíd be great, wouldnít it? Thatís it Ė chocolate and Guinness cake in a second! Butterfly cakes from space!
Eccleston was a tiger and Tennant was, well, Tigger. Smith is an uncoordinated housecat who pretends that he meant to do that after falling off a piece of furniture.