"About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
'See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.'"
— Bryan Bowers, The Scotsman
"I just cam' doon frae the Isle of Skye
I'm no' very big and I'm awful shy
The lassies shout as I go by,
'Donald, where's yer troosers?'"
— Andy Stewart, Donald Where's Your Troosers
"What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? On a good day, lipstick."
"A lot of people ask me 'Is anything worn under your kilt?'. I say 'No, nothing's worn. Everything's in fine, working order.'."
— Mike Myers, at the AFI Lifetime Achievement award ceremony for Sean Connery
Commander Badass: What, a kilt? It's th' manliest way t' be pantsless.
Jared: I always thought the manliest way to be pantsless was watching football on your couch in your underwear.
Commander Badass: See, now yer assumin' that I wear underwear.
Now, the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.
—Groundskeeper Willie, The Simpsons
"Think how frightening it would be to have such a man charging at you, with his skirts flying in the air, flashing his great big bayonet at you!"