Quotes / Malaproper

— Hungarian film director Michael Curtiz calling for some riderless steeds

"Another man who's been waiting anxiously in anticipation - his name is Jeff Harvey!"
"WEBA... WWE Championship"
"At One Night Stand, we'll see a Swing a Poor Cane match!"
"Chavo tapped off to Morrison!"
"And here comes CW Punk!"
"The Samoan Bulldog, Umaga!"
"Dreamer is taking it to Tommy Morrison!"
Mike Adamle, the voice of the WWE

"I mean, look, no matter how you feel about Bush, watching him speak is difficult. It's likeó it's like watching a drunk man cross an icy street."
Tucker Carlson on Real Time with Bill Maher

"But the point we would request of you is, that you will promise to forget this fellow — to illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory."
Mrs. Malaprop, The Rivals

"O villain! Thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this!"
Dogberry, Much Ado About Nothing

"Lisa's in trouble! Ha! The ironing is delicious."
Bart Simpson, The Simpsons

"One time my boss comes over and he says, 'I don't want you guys conjugating around the cash register like this.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Well I am, you are, he/she/it is.'"
Gary Gulman

"It was reported in New Scientist that an office worker described a colleague as 'a vast suppository of information'. The worker then apologised for his 'Miss-Marple-ism'."
New Scientist

Goody: I don't want to buy the queen a present sir she's an Anti-Christ.
Fouler: I beg your pardon!?
Goody: Oh, no, I mean Anarchist. No, no, what's that name for someone who is out of date and does not matter anymore?
Habib: I think you mean an Anachronism.
Goody: Yes, that's right, the Queen is an Anachronism.
Gladstone: I though that was someone who was scared of spiders.
Fouler: No, no that is an Arachnaphobic.
Gladstone: I thought that was someone who was scared of wide open spaces.
Habib: No, that's Agraphobics, they can't handle going outside. Arachnophobics hate spiders.
Fouler: Look, we're talking about the queen.
Goody: Is the Queen scared of spiders?
Gladstone: Well I wouldn't have thought so, but it is starting to look that way.
Goody: Perhaps that is why she is scared to go outside, sir.

"It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man!"
— From some strips of Frank and Ernest

"From the tiny acorn grows the mighty elk."
Mickey Doyle, Boardwalk Empire

D.W.: [shuts off faucet] It's called water conversation!
Arthur: You mean conservation! And what it's really called is annoying your brother.
Arthur, "Feeling Flush"

Lenina Huxley: Simon Phoenix has matched his meat. You really licked his ass!
John Spartan: That's met his match. And kicked... kicked his ass.

Principle Jindrake: You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarkey, you're wrong, I don't encourage it, I excourage it.
Max Keeble: Excourage?
Principle Jindrake: It means the opposite of encourage. Look it up.

Nicholas: Your dad has appointed himself judge, jury, and executioner!
Danny: But he's not Judge Judy and executioner!

"Careful, men. Search every cook and nanny—uh, hook and granny—uh, crooked fan— ...Search everywhere."

"You Don't Spit on Superman's cape, you don't tug into the wind, you don't cast Johnny Depp in the Old Lone Ranger and you don't mess around with Marvel's Opening Weekend."

Todd: What's Updike?
Mr. Peanutbutter: "Not much dike, what's up with you? Is it okay to say that?"
Bojack Horseman, Start Spreading the News.

"Chicken, chicken, chitchen, kitchen... Oh, man... I'm getting hungry."
Mr. Lugnut, Quelf

Peter Quill: See, not winging it isn't exactly what they do.
Peter Parker: Um... What exactly is it that they do?
Mantis: Kick names, take ass.