->ABOVE ALL DO NO HARM
-->-- '''Dr. Steinmann''', [[HypocriticalHumour scrawled in the]] [[CouldntFindAPen blood of his patients]], ''VideoGame/{{BioShock|1}}''

->'''Steinman:''' Four-oh silk and... done.\\
'''Nurse:''' The nose looks terrific, Doctor Steinman! ...Doctor?\\
'''Steinman:''' You know, looking at it now... I didn't realize how much her face ''sags''... Scalpel.\\
'''Nurse:''' Excuse me?\\
'''Steinman:''' Scalpel!\\
'''Nurse:''' Uh, doctor, she's not booked for a face lift...\\
'''Steinman:''' Let's just come in here and... (''begins whistling cheerfully'')\\
'''Nurse:''' Doctor... stop cutting... Doctor, stop cutting! Get me the chief of surgery! Get me the chief of surgery ''now!''
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{BioShock|1}}'' [[ApocalypticLog audio diary]], "Not What She Wanted"

->[[TalkingToThemself What can I do with this one, Aphrodite? ]][[PunctuatedPounding She won't! Stay! Still!]] [[MadArtist I want to make them beautiful, but they always turn out wrong!]] [[HollywoodPudgy That one, too fat!]] [[StatuesqueStunner This one, too tall!]] [[FashionableAsymmetry This one, too]] ''[[FashionableAsymmetry symmetrical!]]'' And now... what's this, Goddess? An intruder?! He's ugly! Ugly! ''Ugly! [[LargeHam UGLYYYYYYYY!]]''
-->-- '''Dr. Steinmann''', ''VideoGame/{{BioShock|1}}''

->Mr. Herriott insists on being called "Dr.", having a Ph.D. in naturopathic medicine, but is strangely reticent to mention where it comes from - possibly because the true center of naturopathy, [[Literature/TheChroniclesOfNarnia Narnia]], can only be found by those pure of heart.
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}'''

->Now this is gonna 'urt, a LOT! But you'll be ''bettah'', you'll see! (''[[LaughingMad giggles]]'')
-->-- '''Ork Mad Dok''', ''VideoGame/DawnOfWar''

->As the mad surgeon said, "Mind if I... cut in?"
-->-- '''Creator/ElviraMistressOfTheDark'''

->'''Dr. Barber:''' Hmmm... good news. You have the plague.\\
'''Patient:''' Why is that good news?\\
'''Dr. Barber:''' Because now I get to conduct ''medical experiments''!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheMarvelousMisadventuresOfFlapjack''

->One more word out of you and I'll perform ''another'' unnecessary surgery!
-->-- '''Doctor Oscar Schneiderbunk, Visser M.D.''', ''Phoenix Command''

->Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, your heart's of blackest kind\\
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, the raw perverted mind\\
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, masskiller on the grind\\
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, a modern Frankenstein
-->-- "Dr. Horror" by '''Music/RunningWild'''

->'''[[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-049 SCP-049]]''': Oh, good doctor, I can assure you, the Pestilence is here, and I can sense it. It is my duty in life to rid the world of it. My cure is most effective.\\
'''Doctor''': Your "cure?" Your cure has cost us hundreds of lives! Your cure is faulty!\\
'''SCP-049''': Good doctor, my cure is most effective.
-->-- '''Wiki/SCPFoundation'''

->Ze healing is not as rewarding as ze hurting.
-->-- '''TheMedic''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''

->Wait, wait, it gets better... When ze patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and ze doctor was never heard from again! ''[[EvilLaugh Ahahahahahaha!]]'' ...Anyway, [[NoodleIncident zat's how I lost my medical license.]]
-->-- '''TheMedic''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'': "Meet the Medic"

->You don't like it? But almost everyone has two hands! Five digits? Pffff. How boring! You, now... you're interesting now!
-->-- '''Ratchet''', ''ComicBook/TransformersShatteredGlass'', after [[TheStarscream Rodimus]] is unimpressed with his new buzzsaw hand

->'''Narrator''': Then Joestar's visit at the most well known office was just starting.\\
'''[[VideoGame/GuiltyGear Faust]]''': (''holding his gigantic scalpel near Joseph's infected arm'') How much will you pay?\\
'''Joseph''': How about this? (''presents a stick of gum'')\\
'''Faust''': Good enough!!\\
'''Joseph''': Do it quick!\\
'''Faust''': Well, raise your hand if it hurts, mufufu.\\
'''Joseph''': Oh no! The phrases I hate the most are: "work hard", the second is "hard work", and third is "raise your hand if it hurts!"
-->-- ''WebVideo/VaguelyRecallingJoJo''

->You should be grateful. Once I remove your skin you will feel so much cooler. [...] Fetch me another plaything, this one seems to have broken.
-->-- '''Urien Rakarth''', [[TortureTechnician Master Haemonculus]], ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->Operate! Operate! Still time to operate!
-->-- '''Mad Dok Grotsnik''', ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->I canít tell you how excited I am. Itís like Christmas, opening a present!
-->-- '''[[CreepyChild Bonesaw]]''', about to cut into [[spoiler: the protagonist]]'s head, ''Literature/{{Worm}}''

----