-->-- '''Dr. Steinmann''', [[HypocriticalHumour scrawled in the]] [[CouldntFindAPen blood of his patients]], ''VideoGame/{{BioShock|1}}''

->'''Steinman:''' Four-oh silk and... done.\\
'''Nurse:''' The nose looks terrific, Doctor Steinman! ...Doctor?\\
'''Steinman:''' You know, looking at it now... I didn't realize how much her face ''sags''... Scalpel.\\
'''Nurse:''' Excuse me?\\
'''Steinman:''' Scalpel!\\
'''Nurse:''' Uh, doctor, she's not booked for a face lift...\\
'''Steinman:''' Let's just come in here and... (''begins whistling cheerfully'')\\
'''Nurse:''' Doctor... stop cutting... Doctor, stop cutting! Get me the chief of surgery! Get me the chief of surgery ''now!''
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{BioShock|1}}'' [[ApocalypticLog audio diary]], "Not What She Wanted"

->[[TalkingToThemself What can I do with this one, Aphrodite? ]][[PunctuatedPounding She won't! Stay! Still!]] [[MadArtist I want to make them beautiful, but they always turn out wrong!]] [[HollywoodPudgy That one, too fat!]] [[StatuesqueStunner This one, too tall!]] [[FashionableAsymmetry This one, too]] ''[[FashionableAsymmetry symmetrical!]]'' And now... what's this, Goddess? An intruder?! He's ugly! Ugly! ''Ugly! [[LargeHam UGLYYYYYYYY!]]''
-->-- '''Dr. Steinmann''', ''VideoGame/{{BioShock|1}}''

->Mr. Herriott insists on being called "Dr.", having a Ph.D. in naturopathic medicine, but is strangely reticent to mention where it comes from - possibly because the true center of naturopathy, [[Literature/TheChroniclesOfNarnia Narnia]], can only be found by those pure of heart.
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}'''

->Now this is gonna 'urt, a LOT! But you'll be ''bettah'', you'll see! (''[[LaughingMad giggles]]'')
-->-- '''Ork Mad Dok''', ''VideoGame/DawnOfWar''

->As the mad surgeon said, "Mind if I... cut in?"
-->-- '''Creator/ElviraMistressOfTheDark'''

->'''Dr. Barber:''' Hmmm... good news. You have the plague.\\
'''Patient:''' Why is that good news?\\
'''Dr. Barber:''' Because now I get to conduct ''medical experiments''!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheMarvelousMisadventuresOfFlapjack''

->One more word out of you and I'll perform ''another'' unnecessary surgery!
-->-- '''Doctor Oscar Schneiderbunk, Visser M.D.''', ''Phoenix Command''

->Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, your heart's of blackest kind\\
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, the raw perverted mind\\
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, masskiller on the grind\\
Dr. Horror, Dr. Horror, a modern Frankenstein
-->-- "Dr. Horror" by '''Music/RunningWild'''

->'''[[http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-049 SCP-049]]''': Oh, good doctor, I can assure you, the Pestilence is here, and I can sense it. It is my duty in life to rid the world of it. My cure is most effective.\\
'''Doctor''': Your "cure?" Your cure has cost us hundreds of lives! Your cure is faulty!\\
'''SCP-049''': Good doctor, my cure is most effective.
-->-- '''Wiki/SCPFoundation'''

->Ze healing is not as rewarding as ze hurting.
-->-- '''TheMedic''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''

->Wait, wait, it gets better... When ze patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and ze doctor was never heard from again! ''[[EvilLaugh Ahahahahahaha!]]'' ...Anyway, [[NoodleIncident zat's how I lost my medical license.]]
-->-- '''TheMedic''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'': "Meet the Medic"

->You don't like it? But almost everyone has two hands! Five digits? Pffff. How boring! You, now... you're interesting now!
-->-- '''Ratchet''', ''ComicBook/TransformersShatteredGlass'', after [[TheStarscream Rodimus]] is unimpressed with his new buzzsaw hand

->'''Narrator''': Then Joestar's visit at the most well known office was just starting.\\
'''[[VideoGame/GuiltyGear Faust]]''': (''holding his gigantic scalpel near Joseph's infected arm'') How much will you pay?\\
'''Joseph''': How about this? (''presents a stick of gum'')\\
'''Faust''': Good enough!!\\
'''Joseph''': Do it quick!\\
'''Faust''': Well, raise your hand if it hurts, mufufu.\\
'''Joseph''': Oh no! The phrases I hate the most are: "work hard", the second is "hard work", and third is "raise your hand if it hurts!"
-->-- ''WebVideo/VaguelyRecallingJoJo''

->You should be grateful. Once I remove your skin you will feel so much cooler. [...] Fetch me another plaything, this one seems to have broken.
-->-- '''Urien Rakarth''', [[TortureTechnician Master Haemonculus]], ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->Operate! Operate! Still time to operate!
-->-- '''Mad Dok Grotsnik''', ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->I canít tell you how excited I am. Itís like Christmas, opening a present!
-->-- '''[[CreepyChild Bonesaw]]''', about to cut into [[spoiler: the protagonist]]'s head, ''Literature/{{Worm}}''

->The body is a machine, you see, imperfect in its design and cursed by mortal flaws. [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast The Freak-Maker]] knows what these problems are, and he now devotes himself to fixing them - [[BodyHorror or making them worse]] - if such duties [[ForScience lead him to better understanding]].
-->--''[[TabletopGame/MageTheAscension Mage: The Sorcerer's Crusade - Infernalism]]''

->Here is something you seldom see: a living, ''breathing'', autopsy.
-->--'''[[SoftSpokenSadist The Caretaker]]''', [[Ride/UniversalStudios Universal's]] Theatre/HalloweenHorrorNights

->Each of the Legions has now nominated aspirants seeking to throw themselves upon our mercy in the vain hope that we may deem them worthy to join our ranks. Those loyal to the shrunken corpse on Terra still cling to their own processes by which perhaps one in a hundred neophytes may survive to become a battle brother. The methods I have developed over the last millennia are more stringent, for we must be pure in our hatred and hard of heart, body and soul. Fewer than one in every thousand survive, and I strive each day to lengthen these odds still further.
-->-- '''The Grimoire Mutatio Curatus (The Forbidden Writings of Fabius Bile)''', ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000''

->'''Eiffel:''' ''Do'' remember that the test is run by a sadistic piece of work who should be avoided at all costs. You might think I'm making a big fuss over nothing, dear listeners, but I cannot ''begin'' to tell you how ''awful'' these physicals are. In fact, don't take MY word for it! Here is a recording I made six months ago, the last time I went through Comrade Doctor Moreau's little "wellness checks". ''(turns on recording)''\\
'''Hilbert (recording):''' Officer Eiffel, I said ''cough!''\\
'''Eiffel (recording):''' ''(whimpering)'' I-I don't wanna!\\
'''Hilbert (recording):''' Cough! ''Now!''\\
'''Eiffel (recording):''' ''(sob, small cough)''\\
''(machine starts whirring)''\\
'''Eiffel (recording):''' ''(agonized, terrified screaming, suddenly muffled as his mouth is covered)''\\
'''Eiffel:''' ''(shuts off recording)'' That was just stage one. I'll spare you stages two through ''twenty''-one.
-->-- ''Podcast/Wolf359'', Episode 3

->When performing a lethal injection, it is essential that the needles be placed with absolute precision. And unlike standard medical procedures, with a lethal injection you have a patient who probably does not want the procedure to occur. Therefore, it is of vital importance that the restraints be tight and strong. Even with that, trouble may arise, and it may be incumbent for the practitioner to take matters into his own hands, using whatever sharp, bladed objects he may have on his person. Lacerations... ''[slashes the "patient" across the chest]'' ...to the body at strategic locations... ''[slashes him again]'' ...may put the patient into a state of shock... ''[slashes the patient again, killing him]'' ...making him far more pliable, or at the very least, causing him to bleed to death, thus achieving the desired end. Who are we kidding? We're not really trying to be humane anyway. Class dismissed.
-->--'''Dr Killjoy,''' ''VideoGame/TheSuffering''

->'''Doctor 1:''' "This man is going into shock!"
->'''Doctor 2:''' "Quick, get him ten cc's of-"
->'''Dr. Eye:''' "'''NO!''' GIVE HIM '''AIDS!'''"
-->--[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS4t3cB1kQk The Brilliant Dr. Eye]], ''WebVideo/FiveSecondFilms''