Darth Vader: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader: No. I am your father.
Luke Skywalker: No... that's not true! That's impossible!
Darth Vader: Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Luke Skywalker: NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!

Monarch: Hank, what if I told you that your mother was someone you've met before? And that your father was not your REAL father?
Hank: What?
Monarch: Hank! I am your real father!
Hank: N-No, you're not...
Monarch PSYCH! Oh man, I totally got you. You were all like, "Oh, daddy! You're my daddy!"

Fernando: Claudius, I have something to tell you. I'm your twin brother!
Claudius: Gaah! But Uncle Teotonius is my grandson!
Uncle Teotonius: But, Charles, I'm your niece!
Charles: Teotonius, if I'm your aunt... Fernando, I'm your mother!!!
(silence)
All: It can't be! How could it be? Really, guys, think for yourselves...

You... you are my mother?

I'M YOUR PAPI!

WHAT?!?!?! Zeke is Yoh's twin brother?!

Ragna: What?
Jin: There's no way!
Imperator Librarius: So this cauldron... is not yet dust...?
Ragna: Saya... Saya, what the hell?

Dexter's Dad: Dexter...I am your father.

Dexter: [gasps] That is not possible! Oh, no wait, you're right.

Dr. Evil: Before you do that...Ow! *deepens voice* Know this. *activates Vader Breath* Austin...I am your father.

Austin Powers: Really?

Dr. Evil: *voice returns to normal* No, not really. I can't back that up.

Austin Powers: *nodding* Right. Idiot. Yes.

Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Lone Starr: What's that make us?

Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing!