Quotes / Loophole Abuse

When playing Rollercoaster Tycoon one time, I remember that I was tasked with the mission of getting a higher approval rating than the park next door. Rather than make my park better, I instead built a rollercoaster that launched people at 100mph into my rival's park. Since technically those people died in my rival's park, their approval rating would plummet and people would rush into my park and straight onto my deathcoaster, which only caused their rating to drop lower and lower. I did this for an hour until the game said I'd won.
Name Withheld, found on Facebook

You can't be arrested for things that are too weird for there to be laws about!
Esther de Groot, Scary Go Round, on the legalities of freeing the Minotaur.

John Connor: Raise your hand and say "I swear I will not kill anyone".
T-800: [raises hand] "I swear I will not kill anyone".
John Connor: OK, that's good.
[T-800 and John ride up to guard post. Guard walks out to greet them.]
Guard: Visiting hours, Monday to Friday-
[T-800 dismounts bike and draws pistol]
Guard: [reaches for gun] Shit!
[T-800 shoots him in both knees, then casually walks past the wounded guard and opens the gate, then walks back to a horrified John]
T-800: He'll live.

"For every rule, there is a loophole."
— An actual, literal law of The Other Realm, Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Voice: The Broodwich cannot be taken apart or disassembled!
Master Shake: Obviously it can, because thatís what I did.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force, "Broodwich"

Creative interpretation of the rules is what my kind calls Free Will, Ma'am
Chrome Cowboy, Blade Bunny

"Who would have guessed five schlubby law nerds would be capable of such a stunning display of mental gymnastics?"
Jezebel on the U.S. Supreme Court

Android 17: I thought you were only programmed to kill Goku.
Android 16: This "Cell" is comprised of 10.78% of Son Goku's DNA. These parameters are acceptable.

(Roy has been tricked into being the bodyguard of a cleric of Hel at a Godsmoot vote.)
Roy: Wrecan. Am I correct in thinking that the gods must have a physical representative in the room in order for their vote to count?
Wrecan: Yes. I guess that's why your "friend" went through so much trouble to get—
Roy: So if one god suddenly no longer had a cleric present before the tiebreaker finished, would their vote be nullified?
Wrecan: ...I suppose. But the rules of the Godsmoot are unambiguous: a bodyguard who raises arms against the priest of another god must be put to death immediately!
Roy: (drawing his sword) Are there any rules about what happens if a bodyguard attacks their own priest?
Wrecan: (smiling) ...No. No, there are not.

"FOUL! ...I think."
Pro-Bending Announcer, The Legend of Korra

Mr Immortal: Go ahead, Thunderbolts, do your worst. You can't kill me, no matter how hard you try! That's why they call me Mister Immortal!
Moonstone: (smirking) Oh, is it? What a lucky break for us they don't call you Mr Conscious! (knocks him out)

Hecha la ley, hecha la trampa.note 
Spanish proverb

Hmph. You and your loopholes. Well, I suppose dead is dead. You technically fulfilled King Garon's order. You sneaky little rat...

Scott: Fischler, didn't the GDF tear up your Space Operations permit?
Fischler: Well, yes, but I think you'll find that that only applies to me personally going into space; nothing there to stop me from operating something remotely!

Genie: Behold! I am the genie of the lamp, and I have come to grant you three wishes! What is thy first wish?
Man: More wishes!
Genie: A genie can only grant three wishes. That is the law.
Man: More genies!
— A Cyanide & Happiness strip

Albert: You're not allowed to do that...
Death: (acting as the Hogfather) The Hogfather can. The Hogfather gives presents. There's no better present than a future.

Ahmed ibn Fahdlan: No, thank you. I am not permitted [to drink alcohol]. "Consume not the fermentation of grape, nor of wheat."
Herger the Joyous: [laughs and hands him a mead horn] It's made from honey.
Ahmed ibn Fahdlan: [hesitates for a moment, then downs it]

"My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine."

"I said my sword was a tool of justice... Not used in anger. Not used for vengeance. But now... now I'm not so sure. And besides... This isn't my sword."
Raiden right before fucking up the Final Boss, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Hiroki "Leader" Sugimoto: *pant* *pant* That's right, dammit! The Leader is stronger than the Boss, you hear!?
Eikichi "Boss" Mishina: In that case... I quit being the Boss!
Leader: ...Uh?
Eikichi: [punches him stupid] The Leader might be stronger than the Boss, but there's no way Hiroki Sugimoto is ever stronger than Eikichi Mishina!
Persona 2: Innocent Sin