Quotes / Logical Fallacies

Hot Pie: I've seen lots of battles! I saw...
Arya: Liar.
Hot Pie: I saw a man killing another at a tavern in Flea's Bottom. Stabbed right in the neck.
Lommy: Two men fighting is no battle.
Hot Pie: They got armour on.
Arya: So?
Hot Pie: So if they got armour on, it's a battle.
Lommy: No, it isn't.
Hot Pie: What does a dyer's apprentice know about battles, anyway?
Arya: Gendry's an armourer's apprentice. Hot Pie, tell Gendry what makes a fight into a battle.
Hot Pie: It's, uh, when they've got armour on.
Gendry: And who told you that?
Hot Pie: A knight.
Gendry: How'd you know he was a knight?
Hot Pie: Wells, cause he's got a-armour on.
Gendry: You don't have to be a knight to have armour. Any idiot can buy armour!
Hot Pie: How'd you know?
Gendry: Because I sold armour!

"Circular logic is self-validating. Therefore it is correct."
— Anonymous

"So, you have been sitting here thinking illogically about logical possibilities or logically about illogical possibilities. No wonder you are cranky."
— Delenn, Babylon 5

"Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic."
— Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

"Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to what he can in his old beliefs even when he is compelled to surrender their logical basis."
— John Dewey

"Logic doesn't apply to the real world."
— Marvin Minsky

"It's been a fascinating discussion, because ... I feel like we don't connect, like, on — it's, like ... it's weird. Because ... I like you ... but I don't understand how your brain works."
Jon Stewart, wrapping up the Betsy McCaughey interview.

All of Al McColgan is dead, but not all that is dead is Al McColgan
— Spoof director's commentary, The cassette of the soundtrack of the trailer of the film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

8-Bit Theater

"In the arena of logic, I fight unarmed!"
Red Mage
Red Mage: Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any step will have no impact on the macro level.
Black Mage: That's so stupid I can't even see straight any more.
Red Mage: Now imagine what'll happen when physics tries to figure it out!
Ranger: Only people who aren't us have disappeared, Rogue. Should this pattern continue, we ought to be fine.
Rogue: Why does that make more sense than I think it should?
Ranger: Don't question it!
Rogue: Right. Okay. I have to believe that this will work out in the end.
Sarda: That's a shame.
Red Mage: We need to use your heart.
Black Mage: So do I! It moves my blood around.
Red Mage: Not if we kill you!
Black Mage: That's distressingly logical.
Thief: Red Mage, this the worst plan yet in your lifetime filled with nothing but the worst plans.
Red Mage: It will work, I guarantee it!
Black Mage: It starts at the impossible before moving on to the even more impossibler.
Red Mage: Precisely!
Red Mage: I'll need more proof than a logical fallacy.
Jeff: In a recent poll, it was found that 100% of Jeffs were very handsome and thought Black Mage survived. Why don't you. Is it because you're ugly?
Red Mage: That's enough logical fallacies to convince me. Black Mage is fine.
Red Mage: Okay, I've got it. We just need to make two portable holes.
Black Mage: That'll be difficult due to the total lack of materials, but it's not technically impossible.
Red Mage: And each one has to be the size of the universe.
Black Mage: What?
Red Mage: Then we drop the universe into one hole, and drop that hole into the other one, and then reality will be here!
Black Mage: So, you want us to build a thing that's the size of everything using nothing.
Red Mage: Yes.
Black Mage: Twice.
Red Mage: Yes.
Black Mage: This is quite literally the least practical plan put together by an allegedly thinking creature.