Quotes: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

75% percent of people will believe anything that has a statistic in it.
—Old joke


"Facts are ventriloquists' dummies. Sitting on a wise man's knee they may be made to utter words of wisdom; elsewhere, they say nothing, or talk nonsense, or indulge in sheer diabolism."
Aldous Huxley, Time Must Have A Stop (1944)

Triple H: Sixty six percent, that's almost better than a half chance for a DX victory!
Shawn Michaels: Seventy percent of statistics are wrong, eighty percent of the time.

Qwark: This Lombax is young. He does not understand that being a hero is 45% strength, 60% bravery, and 10% raw intelligence.
Ratchet: That's 115%!
"And I'm sure you can account for the fact that since your so-called "Justice" League formed, white-collar crime is up 3%!... On your watch, 50% of all marriages now end in divorce! And the other 50% in DEATH!!"
"Glorious" Gordon Godfrey, Justice League

Real Life

"If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything."
Murphy's Law of Combat #75

"Nothing is so fallacious as facts, except figures."
George Canning

"Polls are for strippers and cross-country skiers."

"Because this is a meteorological fact I can prove with graphs and lying. It snows EVERY CHRISTMAS DAY. Oh, shut up, what do you know??"
Steven Moffat on the rules of Christmas Movies, Radio Times issue 18-31 December 2010

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Aaron Levinstein

I never believe in statistics unless I've forged them myself.