Quotes: Laser-Guided Karma
"Instant karma's gonna get you Gonna knock you right on the head You better get yourself together Pretty soon you're gonna be dead"
Well, when justice strikes Well, every once in a while It makes a bullseye hit Well, every once in a while
Well, you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light
"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."
"The first and most important rule of gun-running is: never get shot with your own merchandise."
"A basic rule of covert ops is let someone else do your dirty work. Let someone else find the guy you want to kill. It's a great technique... as long as you're not the someone else."
"The funny thing about karma... It goes round and round... and in the end, it comes back to bite you."
"The thing about karma on the Discworld is that it often happens real soon."
"He that scatters thorns, let him not go barefoot."
"We're less a football team and more an amalgamation of all the evil teams in sports movies that the hero team finally beats and looks back on as a turning point. It's like our seasons were written by Matt Christopher."
"This was a band desperate to hide the fact that they were lip synching, and in front of 80,000 people, the track skipped during the titular line of their album's titular song. 'Girl you know it's! Girl you know it's! Girl you know it's!' It was such a perfect moment that it could only have happened right after God said, "Jimi Hendrix and John Bonham — stop nunchuck fighting! Get over here and check out what I'm about to do!"
"We all know that Kanye West has a lukewarm puddle of soggy delusion for a brain (it was a wedding present from his mother-in-law as a way to help him fit-in with the rest of the family), so this story should surprise no one...Kimís Kurrent Husband told the audience to stand up and dance and threw a tempter-tantrum when he noticed that some people werenít obeying King Kanye. HOW DARE THEY! DONíT THEY KNOW HOW IMPORTANT KANYE WEST IS??
Concertgoers claim that Kanye got all kunty when realized there might still be one or two people in the audience who hadnít stood up...Sure enough, he locates one of the seated persons and demands to know why they arenít standing up and worshiping at the altar of Yeezus, at which point they held up a prosthetic leg as proof that they werenít able to stand, which Kanye deemed an acceptable excuse. Then he managed to locate the other person in the audience who was still seated and insists that they get their ass out of their seat and dance GODDAMNIT. But they continue to remained seated. BECAUSE THEY'RE IN A FUCKING WHEELCHAIR."
, "Kanye West Stopped A Show To Demand That A Fan In A Wheelchair 'Stand Up And Dance'"
"There isnít a more amusing Seagal tale than the time he was choked out by Judo champion and stunt coordinator Gene Lebell. Seagal, who has a history of abusing stuntmen on the sets of his films, often by kicking them in the nuts when they donít expect it, finally got a taste of his own medicine when he arrogantly declared he could never be choked out by anyone, and lo and behold, was taken down by Lebell. The reason this story is so funny is because not only did Seagal pass out, but he proceeded to urinate and defecate all over himself in the process. At long last Seagal managed to experience the metaphorical equivalent of what moviegoers had been put through every time they saw one of his films. Of course, a lawsuit towards Lebell followed, so Gene had to stay quiet about it all."
"Well, well, well, now we come to the crux of it. What really upsets Bobo and is giving him the night terrors. The knowledge that the Depression economy is not just hitting hard on the recent graduate liberal scum what with their new genders and hippity hop, but also good decent hard-working trust fund babies who think waving an Ayn Rand book around and liking Ron Paul makes one an intellectual... And there we get to the real bee in his bonnet. The sad notion that his massive speakerís fee on behalf of fellow travelers in University management wanting to piss on their students is threatened by those same soaking wet and stinking masses taking some small umbrage to their ever-increasing fees going to people who openly despise them and the very process of honest academia.
Cause the right to fleece is a sacred Constitutional right, donchaknow!"
, "But Nobody Bleeds For the Hack Writer"