"Who on earth would put any manner key inside a can and seal it? What sense does that possibly stand to make? I'm reasonably sure this is the only time anyone's ever run into something like this."
— Muschio Malto, Dive Quest
Ron: Why is everyone in the future so ripped?
Wade: Fighting an evil dictator will do that to you.
— Kim Possible: A Sitch In Time.
"If you've got a weak spot in a movie or what could be perceived as a weak spot, then you should attack it, then no one (in the audience) can be at fault when thinking of it themselves"
— Matthew Vaughn, Kick-Ass, DVD and Blu-Ray commentary.
"Everything in this school happens to this band, their friends and their stupid colored jeans."
— Bruce the Moose, Degrassi The Next Generation
"If I live to be 100, I will never understand why they keep so many damn weapons under the ring. It's like they want the wrestlers to use them on each other..."
"I want to be remembered when I'm dead. I want books written about me. I want songs sung about me. And then, hundreds of years from now, I want episodes of my life to be played out weekly at half past nine by some great heroic actor of the age."
— Edmund Blackadder, Esq.
"Oh no you don't. You can't get away with something that absurd merely by pointing out how ridiculous it is."
— Paris, Irregular Webcomic!
"Ugh. TV Doctors."
— Carol Hathaway, ER
Martin: A top-secret government program involving instantaneous travel to other solar systems, by means of a device known as a "Stargate".
O'Neill: Sounds like a good idea for a TV show. If you're... into that sort of thing.
— Stargate SG-1, "Point of No Return"
"Iconic horror franchises always run the risk of devolving into unintentional self-satire. A lot of filmmakers figure they can just combat this head-on by acknowledging the fact openly (or as they say in the biz, "putting a lampshade on it"). But the fact that a lot of people think that Killer Axe Man 17 is getting kind of stupid doesn't actually change if the film's writers point out that they know it's stupid. This acknowledgment just makes everything stupider."
"Hey screenwriters, having your characters call out the cliches in your own script doesn't absolve you from having those cliches in the first place."
— Ellen Fox, The Rotten Tomatoes Show, presumably on Seven Psychopaths
Skinner: "Sir, we have a problem with Lisa Simpson."
Chalmers: "Seymour, I superintend 15 schools in the district, yet every time I come here it's to see you about one of the Simpson kids."
"This is like that episode of... well, everything."
— Malcolm, Malcolm in the Middle
"You should know that this is the strangest thing I've ever done!"
— Flynn, Tangled
Lana: Where did you get a grenade?!
Archer: Hanging from the lampshade!
Lana: Wait, what?!
— Archer, Scorpio
(Lana and Cyril both escape death and sort their relationship)
Cyril: Thank God! Lana, we made it!
Archer: Hooray for metaphors!
— Archer, Skytanic
-"This is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing that has ever happened."
— Leela, Futurama
"Yeah, Ted can really drone on about a bitch."
— Lily Aldrin, How I Met Your Mother
- Jeff: Abed, stop being meta! Why do you always have to take whatever happens to us and shove it up its own ass?
— Community gets recursive
"Guy named Otto Octavius winds up with eight limbs. What are the odds?"
— J. Jonah Jameson, Spider-Man 2
"Hip Writing Fact #1: If we say we're doing something painful and stupid, it's immediately no longer painful and stupid!"