Holly: That's right, Mud Boy. Play time's over. Time for the professionals to take over. If you're a good boy, I'll buy you a lollipop when I come back.
(Holly leaves)
Artemis: I don't like lollipops.
(Holly leaves)
Artemis: I don't like lollipops.
Edmund Blackadder: Too often one thinks of what one should have said.
Prince George: Well, yes, you see, only the other day, Prime Minister Pitt called me an idle scrounger, and it wasn't until later that I thought how clever it would've been to have said, "Oh, bugger off, you old fart!"
Prince George: Well, yes, you see, only the other day, Prime Minister Pitt called me an idle scrounger, and it wasn't until later that I thought how clever it would've been to have said, "Oh, bugger off, you old fart!"
"Seriously, this is distilled posturing at its essence. When Sinclair asks Valentine who the feds will believe, 'a cheap crook or the number-three box office draw in America?' it’s sort of half-and-half....And Sorvino replies with, 'Number three jerk!' like he’s George Costanza."
—Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on
The Rocketeer
The Rocketeer"Wizard!" she spat. "I am going to completely restrict your ability to effect change in the populace of the realm or those neighboring nations with the ability to influence our internal politics, economy or cultural standards."
Oh, yeah, she thought, minstrels will be falling over themselves to immortalize that cunning phrasing.
Oh, yeah, she thought, minstrels will be falling over themselves to immortalize that cunning phrasing.
— The fic Goddess
Thief: No, your free-for-all idea was dumb. For the record, all of your ideas? Dumb.
Black Mage: You're the dumb idea!
Beat Panel
Black Mage: That sounded way better in my head.
Black Mage: You're the dumb idea!
Beat Panel
Black Mage: That sounded way better in my head.
Android 17: I have to admire your ability to stand up after that.
Vegeta: And I admire your ability to die!
Android 18: How sad... To work so hard for so little...
Vegeta: You expect to beat me with this Automa-Ton of Fun?
Android 19: Registering insult. Retort: You are short and your hairline is receding.
Vegeta: Ooohoohoohoohoo! Scathing.
Kami: (Telepathically) Hello there. Who are you?
Nail: I'm Nail. I'm a Namekian Piccolo fused with on Namek.
Kami: You do know that technique is forbidden, Piccolo?
Piccolo: Your face is forbidden!
Nail: ...Sadly, that was the best one up here.
Donna: No stupid Martian is going to stop me from getting married! To hell with you! (runs off)
The Doctor: I’m, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not from Mars...
The Doctor: I’m, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not from Mars...
— Doctor Who, "The Runaway Bride"
Fei Long: Look at you! You've ignored your training, and you've turned against all of your friends!
Ken: And you... you're a loser!
Ken: And you... you're a loser!
Max: Can I at least know your name? In my head, I keep calling you the little sausage dog, but it seems rude.
Rocky: Well, it is rude. I don't go around calling you the giant...golden...furry...dog thing. Yeah, I got nothing.
— The Last Dogs: The Vanishing
[Ben turns into Cannonbolt to face a mechanical duplicate of his alien form]
Ben: Hey, handsome! Why don't you pick on someone your own size, in handsomeness!?
Mechanical Cannonbolt: I am going to roll you, sir!
Ben: Really? That's the best quip you can come up with?
Ben: Hey, handsome! Why don't you pick on someone your own size, in handsomeness!?
Mechanical Cannonbolt: I am going to roll you, sir!
Ben: Really? That's the best quip you can come up with?
—Ben 10 (2016), "Past Aliens Present"
LittleKuriboh: And so The Undertaker has this perfectly reasonable response:
The Undertaker: How dare you?!
Jaden Yuki: How? 'Cause I'm daring, I guess.
LittleKuriboh: ... Bleep you! Ah, Jaden Yuki, the master of the pithy retort! Mate, you played a trading card, it's not like you bungee-jumped into the Grand Canyon.
The Undertaker: How dare you?!
Jaden Yuki: How? 'Cause I'm daring, I guess.
LittleKuriboh: ... Bleep you! Ah, Jaden Yuki, the master of the pithy retort! Mate, you played a trading card, it's not like you bungee-jumped into the Grand Canyon.
Murderer: [Macduff] is a traitor.
Young Macduff: Thou liest, shag-haired villain!
Murderer: What? You egg!
Young Macduff: Thou liest, shag-haired villain!
Murderer: What? You egg!
— Macbeth
Zorak: You dance like a woman.
Space Ghost: I dance like a woman... if she were a man!
"Things have changed, Lister." Rimmer rose from his station. "We no longer enjoy the protection of a ship the size of a small nation. We're crammed together on a tiny rust bucket designed to ferry ore from ship to surface, not extended exploration of Deep Space, and the only vague, remote hemi-demi-semi chance we have of remaining alive for more than two seconds is by observing, rigid, rigid discipline. Rigid!" Rimmer karate chopped the air to punctuate each enunciation of the word "rigid," ostensibly for emphasis, though he found it hard to fight off the mental image of each blow cracking down on Lister's neck.
"And by warning the pilot when an asteroid's about to smack into him," Lister added unnecessarily.
"Rigid," was all Rimmer could think of as an exit line as he stepped briskly down from the cockpit cabin into the mid-section before Lister could get in another zinger.
—Red Dwarf: Backwards
Salazar: Me llamo Ramon Salazar, the eighth castellan of this magnificent architecture. I have been honored with the prodigious power from the great Lord Saddler. I've been expecting you, my brethrens.
Leon: No thanks, bro!
Leon: No thanks, bro!
Bill: The combination to Stan's safe. Boy, that was even easier than I thought!
Mabel: Oh, yeah? Well, you're a... a stink-face!
Xyler: Awesome comeback, Mabel!
Mabel: Don't treat me like a child, Xyler.
—Gravity Falls, "Dreamscaperers"
Jack Sparrow: You look bloody awful. What are you doing here?
James Norrington: You hired me, remember? I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack: You smell funny.
James Norrington: You hired me, remember? I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack: You smell funny.
Linden: Hey, it's my little sister. I thought you died in your sleep, you've been in bed so long.
Tilia: Hey, it's my older sister. I thought...you...were busy being responsible and figuring out how to run our tavern better?
Tilia: Hey, it's my older sister. I thought...you...were busy being responsible and figuring out how to run our tavern better?
Narrator of a Story She's Reading: "Hey there. How's it going? What's your name?"
Leni Loud: "Len—"
Narrator: "Actually, you know what? Don't tell me, because I don't fucking care."
Leni: "Hey, that's not nice! Just for that, I am going to tell you my name! Leni, Leni, Leni!"
— Peeking Through the Fourth Wall, After Dark: 4
Jesus Quintana: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mío, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, uh ... your opinion, man.
The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, uh ... your opinion, man.
Oren: And you guys are...u-um...
Olive: Are you trying to insult us?
Oren: I-I'm just trying to think of something, just give me a second.
Olive: Let me help. I'm afraid of pie.
Otto: And I'm terrible at sports.
Oren: Buuuuuurn! Let's roll-laf.
Olive: Are you trying to insult us?
Oren: I-I'm just trying to think of something, just give me a second.
Olive: Let me help. I'm afraid of pie.
Otto: And I'm terrible at sports.
Oren: Buuuuuurn! Let's roll-laf.
"Christmas a humbug, uncle!" said Scrooge's nephew. "You don't mean that, I am sure?"
"I do," said Scrooge. "Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough."
"Come, then," returned the nephew gaily. "What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough."
Scrooge, having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment, said, "Bah!" again; and followed it up with "Humbug!"
"I do," said Scrooge. "Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough."
"Come, then," returned the nephew gaily. "What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough."
Scrooge, having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment, said, "Bah!" again; and followed it up with "Humbug!"
