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Quotes: Kavorka Man


"When Sigmund Freud's invited to a party
That's a party that will last and last
When Sigmund Freud's invited to a party
You should see the mess the morning aft"
Telex, "Sigmund Freud's Party"

Gene: Serves you right for staying up rodding all night with that new fella of yours. Did you let his guide dog watch?
Phyllis: His guide dog's giving your mam one. From behind.

Bender: [on Henry Kissinger] Is he any good?
President Nixon's Head: Looking like that, he talked his way into Jill St. John's bed. Enough said.
Futurama, "War Is The H-Word"

"He wasn't exactly in the best shape, and he had a combover that was rather... elaborate, but he had this air about him. This confidence that drew me toward him. He was who he was; he didn’t care."
Sydney Prosser on Irving Rosenfeld, American Hustle

Real Life

"Bill and I would like to do a song for you that, at one time, was our largest-selling hit record... It's called 'Muskrat Love', and every time I sing this song I think of Henry Kissenger."

“I have always derived great comfort from William Shakespeare. After a depressing visit to the mirror or an unkind word from a girlfriend or an incredulous stare in the street, I say to myself: 'Well. Shakespeare looked like shit.' It works wonders.”
Martin Amis, Money

"I refute and rebuff this whole ridiculous notion."
Hugh Laurie on being a "sex symbol"

'Tony's sexy because he likes to fuck."
James Gandolfini on Tony Soprano, Inside the Actor's Studio

"I'm living proof that anybody can get laid."
Ron Jeremy

"Between the marriages, I shagged my way 'round television studios like a mechanical digger."

"When she filmed this video, Zsa Zsa Gabor was 76 years old and had the range of motion of a woman being digested by a snake. Corpses get better workouts when the gasses inside them shift. And this would all be normal for an elderly fitness video if there were old people doing it along with her. Instead, she has two gigantic body builders, Francois and Mike... It sounds pretty gross on paper, but you don't get to be Miss Hungary 1936 without having a certain appeal. When she calls Francois over to help her stretch, she is a predator on the hunt and the poor guy is way out of his league. Eight decades old or not, it only takes 8 seconds of flirting before Francois is ready to stick it in."

"All you really need to know is that she’s Wonder Woman’s hot younger sister. And so of course, as you might expect from a description like that, she ends up dating and even marrying divorcee, complete failure and utter shameless creep Terry Long."
Chris Sims on Donna Troy "The Worst Couples in Comics"

"There's an attempt at a comedic subplot here where Uhura and Scotty have some kinda chemistry or sexual tension or somethin'. Later in the film, when Sybok frees her mind, Uhura begins to make awkward sexual advances toward Scotty.. Her mind is uninhibited, so she wants to fuck an old, fat white guy."

"Who said Doctor Who wasn’t capable of putting the willies up you in the 80’s? And that's not me speaking literally in the wake of JNT's memoirs."

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