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Quotes: Karma Houdini

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Everywhere you go
Law abidin' folk
Doing what is decent but they're mostly broke
Singing to the Lord on Sundays, praying for the gifts he sends
But
we're the ones who take it, we're the ones who make it in the end!
The Thernadiers, Les Misérables

I heard her say, she struck a deal
Her faith will bring in money bags
I'm heading for the mercy seat
My goodness looks like dirty rags
Steve Taylor, "You Don't Owe Me Nothing"

The wicked flee when none pursueth.

Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.
Bartleby, Dogma

Will somebody do something? Every week he gets worse and nobody does anything!
— Wendy Testaburger, South Park ("Breast Cancer Show Ever")

One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. ...And on that day they'll still have more.
Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ("Reptile Boy")

Director of Green: We've been dumping into the water supply for years. Yesterday, a giant mutated alligator destroyed our competitor's only factory.
CEO: Now that Karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?
Director: The sky's the limit.
Dilbert

There was only one guy in the whole Bible Jesus ever personally promised a place with him in Paradise. Not Peter, not Paul, not any of those guys. He was a convicted thief, being executed. So don't knock the guys on death row. Maybe they know something you don't.

Frustrating, isn't it? Best not to think too hard about me, or you'll end up giving yourself apoplexy.
Jarlaxle in a cameo, Baldur's Gate 2

Yuri Orlov: Enjoy it.
Jack Valentine: ...What?
Yuri: This. Tell me I'm "everything you despise." That I'm "the personification of evil." That I'm—what? "Responsible for the breakdown of the fabric of society and world order." I'm "a one-man genocide." Say everything you want to say to me now. Because you don't have long.

Tagon: That man could turn his own death into a tactical advantage.
Kevyn: I've done that before. It hurts, but it's not actually all that difficult.
Schlock Mercenary, on Xinchub going from slave to king in the space of a year

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone.

Daphne: "You won't get away with this!"
Simone: "I've been getting away with it for 200 years!"

Yousuke: Damn it, he killed Sempai, and now Nanako-chan... And the bastard's gonna walk away ithout paying for what he did!
Yukiko: That's not right...!
Naoto: ...
Rise: Why...? What is he the one that gets to go on living?
— Part of the party of Persona 4, talking about Namatame.

When you reach out for Roman, he's not there.

I was well rewarded for my cowardice and greed.
Duke Phillips, The Critic

I just wish you'd killed that old bastard.
— Inara regarding Adelai Niska, "War Stories", ''Firefly'

I'm nine years old, and I have a hemorrhoid, Stan. I have a hemorrhoid, and Cartman has his own theme park.
— "Cartmanland", South Park

Lewis: That son of a bitch is getting away with it. We can't even touch him.
RoboCop: Patience, Lewis. We're only human.

There's what, maybe five hundred people in this hospital? I could pump you full of bullets right now and I wouldn't be arrested. Everyone would lie for me—everyone who counts. Otherwise, all their own lies, everything that runs Sin City, it all comes tumbling down like a pack of cards.
Senator Roark, Sin City

You offend the community, the community retaliates, and the balance is maintained. If the community acts against you and it’s unjust, then there is imbalance, and this weighs heavier than matters between individuals. Clever individuals with some knowledge on how to use and manipulate karma could theoretically survive and ride the backlash to a position at the top.
Ms. Lewis explains how this is managed in a universe with actual functioning Karma, Pact

Why is it that one of us who wants to live the most, the ones who deserve to live the most dies, and the ones that deserve to die, keep on living? What's the message in that?
Barney Ross, The Expendables 2

I just want something bad to happen to you. Not like really bad, just...something to ruin your weekend.
Cat Valentine to Tori, Victorious "The Blonde Squad"

    real life 
Clever tyrants are never punished.
Voltaire, Meropa

In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying.

I know I will go to hell, because I pardoned Richard Nixon.
Gerald Ford (attributed)

This was the first of three major studies into the CIA in about a two year period that began to scratch the surface of how upsettingly bad things were with the CIA. Most of these revelations were strenuously opposed by officials in the Ford administration, most notably some guy named Donald Rumsfeld, whose political career was surely brought to an end by such a brazen attempt to cover up staggering abuses of power.
Phil Sandifer on the Rockefeller Report

Ehh, like I said: The Rihanna incident has kinda faded with time. But still, right? It's pretty messed up that a guy who did what Chris Brown did can release a song called "These Hoes Ain't Loyal" and have it be a hit...Yeah, girls generally fail to be loyal if you call them "hoes", Chris. Or if you punch them.
Todd in the Shadows, "Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2014"

You hear that kids? Act like a good little boy all year, and Santa might bring you a new bike. Act like a spoiled brat all year, and Ryan Seacrest will give you a 1-hour special on Comedy Central. I think we can all agree that Ryan Seacrest should just bite the bullet and change his Twitter bio to “I put assholes on television“.
Dlisted, "Justin Bieber Is Getting His Own Comedy Central Roast"

'The more of an asshole Mark is, the more money he makes, and the more authority he's given by the head office,' said Manning, who left Aqua-Dek in April to 'do literally anything that will get me away from that son of a bitch.' 'In Mark, you see a classic example of the cycle of escalating assholedom. Instead of hiding his assholishness and putting on a good show, he brags about it as if it's a virtue, because it benefits his career. But I don't believe for a minute that he's only an asshole for career advancement. For Mark, being an asshole is its own reward.'

Paulson's TARP proposal was essentially the last, unaired episode of Beavis and Butthead, with the three pages of script just containing a single scene in which Butthead walks into the U.S. Senate and says, 'Can you, uh, like, give us 700 billion dollars? Uh-huh-huh.'
Matt Taibi on Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson, "Bailout Architect Runs For California Governor, World Laughs"

During famines, the state propaganda said Kim Jong Il was suffering through the worst of it with us, subsisting on only a bowl of rice a day.... The reality is that while it's impossible to say how much rice Kim ate during the famine, we do know he spent $600,000 a year on his personal brandy stash.

If this were a movie, the evil iron-fisted dictator would get his comeuppance before the closing credits. In real life, the Kim family has been oppressing their starving little country for 65 goddamned years, with no end in sight, and getting steadily crazier with each passing day.

"And so Krelian, runner up for biggest monster in the entire game, not only evades ever having to pay for being responsible for the death of millions and enough crimes against humanity to make Umbrella Inc executives blush...but he gets exactly what he wants in the end too. What a fucking tosser."
The Dark Id, taking the ending to Xenogears to task.