Quotes: Karma Houdini

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    comic books 

There was only one guy in the whole Bible Jesus ever personally promised a place with him in Paradise. Not Peter, not Paul, not any of those guys. He was a convicted thief, being executed. So don't knock the guys on death row. Maybe they know something you don't.

    Film — live-action 

Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.
Bartleby, Dogma

Why is it that one of us who wants to live the most, the ones who deserve to live the most dies, and the ones that deserve to die, keep on living? What's the message in that?
Barney Ross, The Expendables 2

Lewis: That son of a bitch is getting away with it. We can't even touch him.
RoboCop: Patience, Lewis. We're only human.

Yuri Orlov: Enjoy it.
Jack Valentine: ...What?
Yuri: This. Tell me I'm "everything you despise." That I'm "the personification of evil." That I'm—what? "Responsible for the breakdown of the fabric of society and world order." I'm "a one-man genocide." Say everything you want to say to me now. Because you don't have long.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone.

    literature 

The wicked flee when none pursueth.

You offend the community, the community retaliates, and the balance is maintained. If the community acts against you and it’s unjust, then there is imbalance, and this weighs heavier than matters between individuals. Clever individuals with some knowledge on how to use and manipulate karma could theoretically survive and ride the backlash to a position at the top.
Ms. Lewis explains how this is managed in a universe with actual functioning Karma, Pact

    live-action tv 

One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. [beat] And on that day they'll still have more.
Xander, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ("Reptile Boy")

I just wish you'd killed that old bastard.
— Inara regarding Adelai Niska, "War Stories", ''Firefly'

I just want something bad to happen to you. Not like really bad, just...something to ruin your weekend.
Cat Valentine to Tori, Victorious "The Blonde Squad"

    music 

I heard her say, she struck a deal
Her faith will bring in money bags
I'm heading for the mercy seat
My goodness looks like dirty rags
Steve Taylor, "You Don't Owe Me Nothing"

    newspaper comics 

Director of Green: We've been dumping into the water supply for years. Yesterday, a giant mutated alligator destroyed our competitor's only factory.
CEO: Now that Karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?
Director: The sky's the limit.
Dilbert

    theatre 

Everywhere you go
Law abidin' folk
Doing what is decent but they're mostly broke
Singing to the Lord on Sundays, praying for the gifts he sends
But
we're the ones who take it, we're the ones who make it in the end!
The Thernadiers, Les Misérables

    Video games 

Frustrating, isn't it? Best not to think too hard about me, or you'll end up giving yourself apoplexy.
Jarlaxle in a cameo, Baldur's Gate 2

Yousuke: Damn it, he killed Sempai, and now Nanako-chan... And the bastard's gonna walk away ithout paying for what he did!
Yukiko: That's not right...!
Naoto: ...
Rise: Why...? What is he the one that gets to go on living?
— Part of the party of Persona 4, talking about Namatame.

    webcomics 

Tagon: That man could turn his own death into a tactical advantage.
Kevyn: I've done that before. It hurts, but it's not actually all that difficult.
Schlock Mercenary, on Xinchub going from slave to king in the space of a year

    Web original 

'The more of an asshole Mark is, the more money he makes, and the more authority he's given by the head office,' said Manning, who left Aqua-Dek in April to 'do literally anything that will get me away from that son of a bitch.' 'In Mark, you see a classic example of the cycle of escalating assholedom. Instead of hiding his assholishness and putting on a good show, he brags about it as if it's a virtue, because it benefits his career. But I don't believe for a minute that he's only an asshole for career advancement. For Mark, being an asshole is its own reward.'

He's not sorry. Watch any post-scandal interview and it's obvious that Armstrong feels that everything he did—all the cheating, all the lying, all the life-destroying of anyone who crossed him—was justified in his ascent to becoming Cancer Jesus. "People are going to call bullshit on this," he told ESPN this year, "but I've never been happier." Oh well, thank God you found peace and happiness. Asshole.
Drew Magary on Lance Armstrong, "The 25 Biggest Sleazebags in Sports!"

If this were a movie, the evil iron-fisted dictator would get his comeuppance before the closing credits. In real life, the Kim family has been oppressing their starving little country for 65 goddamned years, with no end in sight, and getting steadily crazier with each passing day.

    Web video 

It's pretty messed up that a guy who did what Chris Brown did can release a song called "These Hoes Ain't Loyal" and have it be a hit.
Todd in the Shadows, "Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2014"

    Western animation 

I'm nine years old, and I have a hemorrhoid, Stan. I have a hemorrhoid, and Cartman has his own theme park.
— "Cartmanland", South Park

Daphne: "You won't get away with this!"
Simone: "I've been getting away with it for 200 years!"

I was well rewarded for my cowardice and greed.
Duke Phillips, The Critic

    real life 

Clever tyrants are never punished.
Voltaire, Meropa

In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying.

I know I will go to hell, because I pardoned Richard Nixon.
Gerald Ford (attributed)