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Quotes: Jerk with a Heart of Jerk
Steve: I thought you were doing it because you cared!
Roger: I do care, kiddo. I care about me.

Penny: At first I thought [Captain Hammer] was really cheesy-
Billy: Trust your instincts.
Penny: But you know how sometimes people have one layer on the outside, and then another, completely different layer beneath?
Billy: And sometimes there's a third, even deeper, level, and that one is the same as the...top...surface...one.
Penny: Huh?
Billy: Like with pie.

Leela: You know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!

Jaime Lannister: I didn't realize you placed such a high value on my brother's life.
Tywin Lannister: He's a Lannister! He might be the lowest of the Lannisters, but he's one of us! And every day that he remains a prisoner, the less our name commands respect.

"He may be grouchy on the outside, but inside beats a heart of stone."
Big Bird, on Oscar the Grouch, The Hollywood Squares

Dr. Molly Clock: Oh, Dr. Kelso's all bluster. Underneath it all, I'll bet he's a sweetheart.
Dr. Perry Cox: No, no. Underneath it all, he is pure evil.
Clock: Perry, no one's pure evil. I mean, yes, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside everybody has a creamy center.
Cox: There are plenty of people here on this particular planet who are hard on the outside and hard on the inside.
Clock: So they'd have more of a nougat-y center?
Cox: Lady... people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are, mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
Scrubs, episode "My Common Enemy"

When you were assigned to be my roommate, I thought you were a jerk. Then I tricked myself into believing you weren't. I won't make that mistake again.

Aladeen: I now know that on the outside, I am a bit of a cocksucker...
Nadal: Yeah!
Aladeen: But deep down...I'm nice.
Nadal: Not really.
Aladeen: Yes I am! I'm like mafrum: hard and spiky on the outside, but soft and really mushy on the in.
Nadal: You're not like mafrum at all! You're like an onion! An outer layer of cocksucker, and when you peel it away, there is ten more layers of cocksucker underneath!

"Underneath this harsh surface, I'm deeply sensitive." [..] "I Lied. Underneath this harsh surface, there's just MORE harsh surface."
The Sheriff, Robin Hood

Darkstripe: You're mine, kittypet. It's time for you to die.
Firestar: So now you're fighting on the side of Tigerstar's murderer? Have you no loyalty?
Darkstripe: Not anymore. Every cat in the forest can turn to crowfood for all I care. All I want is to see you dead.

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song...note 
Ranting and raving and carrying on...
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
...
........NAAAAAAAAHHH.
Denis Leary, Asshole


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