- Billings, Montana on the Christmas Spacial DVD:
Walter: [looks out at the audience] Is this the population of the entire state?
- On a trip to Copenhagen, Denmark:
Walter: Everyone we've met here is named Christian! Including the Jewish guys!
- Santa Ana, California, on Arguing with Myself
Peanut: [reading name of city] "Sah... N'tah... Ah........ Nah." What the hell is that?
[insisting that he's saying it right] Sah N'tah Ah Nah, Sah N'tah Ah Nah, Sah N'tah Ah Nah, hoyahoyahoyahoya...
- The moment Bubba J goes on stage in Minneapolis, Minnesota:
Bubba J: I'm home!
- In Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, December 31, 2011 (Jeff was trying to make a Lampshaded Double Entendre, but it bombed):
Walter: You got some funny place names here, how do you say it—Blown-ox?Crowd: [more helpful than amused] Blawnox!
- In Washington D.C., on Spark of Insanity:
Walter: I stood in front of the IRS building and just flipped them off.
- All Over the Map tour, United Arab Emirates:
Achmed: Greetings Infi— erm, folks?
- Tel Aviv, Israel:
Achmed: Why are they [the audience] cheering for me?
Achmed: Oh, I get it. You guys like nothing better than a dead terrorist.
Usually Walter or Peanut: Excuse me, but do the tickets say "Jeff Dunham, his friends, and the drunken asshole in the back"? Methinks not!Other moments
- 5 voices at once:
Little Ugly-Ass Jeff: What the fuck is that?!
Mini-Peanut: Hi, look at me; I'm a little idiot hahahahahaha!
Peanut: That is not funny.
Mini-Peanut: Yes it is.
Peanut: No it's not!
Jeff: I think it is.
José: Me too.
Little Ugly-Ass Jeff: LOL
Peanut: Shut up!